Peter Crouch dating

[US-KY] [H] Hundreds of pops to choose from [W] Paypal

2020.10.22 17:52 HagerEKU [US-KY] [H] Hundreds of pops to choose from [W] Paypal

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2020.10.21 17:51 HagerEKU [US-KY] [H] Humpday Pops! [W] Paypal

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2020.10.20 14:37 HagerEKU [US-KY] [H] Hundreds of Pops [W] Paypal

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2020.10.19 14:19 HagerEKU [US-KY] [H] The Great Wall of Pops [W] Paypal

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2020.10.17 21:03 HagerEKU [US-KY] [H] Long list of pops [W] Paypal

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2020.10.16 14:39 HagerEKU [US-KY] [H] Hundreds of POPs [W] Paypal

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2020.10.09 20:13 JDFister Wizard Tournament: Chapter 27

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      It looked as though Sharack was going to be completely unfazed by Tenna’s final attack, but then—right as the Icicle Swarm was petering out—a wound appeared on all the Sharacks at the same time. Each copy clutched the same spot in their side and fell to their knees with bright red blood gushing between their claws.
      One by one the temporal copies of Sharack popped away in a flash of gold light until there was only one left. The last Sharack looked like he was gripping a spot of air above his wound. He pulled his hand free and some kind of invisible spear covered in blood came out of his side.
      “What was that?” Draevin asked. “Did either of you see what happened?”
      Peter was actively in the process of fiddling with his glasses, but he answered before Sylnya. “As far as I could tell Tenna hit Sharack with some kind of cryomancy spell.”
      Though he’d received a mortal wound that was now gushing blood Sharack wasn’t quite dead. He hung his head and said something. The bell rang. Maeve announced, “Sharack has surrendered. Tenna wins.
      Tenna dismissed her invisible Icicle Spear and it dissolved in a puff of mist followed shortly by the rest of the ice around the field that she’d fired in the course of the battle. With Sharack’s life in such immediate danger a pair of medical wizards ran across the field to him as soon as the match was called. Draevin wasn’t concerned: there wasn’t much the medical teams couldn’t fix. A lethal blow to the torso was nothing to them.
      Most of the crowd gave a hoot of support for Tenna’s narrow victory and Draevin joined in. Tenna wasn’t even smiling though. Instead she was watching Sharack get carted away with dread.
      Sylnya slapped Draevin on the back. “Alright!” she said excitedly. “I knew your little pep talk would give Tenna the spunk she needed!” She held up a ticket with Tenna’s name on it and did a little pirouette. “I’m making my money back today!”
      “Figures,” Draevin said, “I should have known you had an angle when you were so insistent I do something nice.”
      “Hey, don’t beetle my bark! There’s such a thing as a win-win.”
      “Yeah yeah.” Draevin hopped down over the railing and jogged over to where Tenna was walking off toward the service tunnel. Before he got to her Tenna reached the tunnel and slumped to the ground.
      The little purple magpie fluttered up to her and Draevin heard her tell it, “Good job out there, buddy. It’s time to go back to sleep now though.” The magical bird dived back into the bird-shaped gemstone on the end of her necklace and the glow faded. Tenna curled up and rested her chin on her knees and wrapped her forearms around her face.
      Draevin quietly sat down next to her. “That was a great performance Tenna. What’s got you so gloomy? You know the crowds really prefer it if you look happy when you win.”
      She looked up and Draevin was shocked to see a welling of tears in her eyes. Her face looked drawn and paler than normal. “Is Sharack g-going to be ok-k-kay?” she asked. “I didn’t want to hurt him but there was no other way to stop him.”
      Draevin paused. He didn’t have a lot of experience thinking about these types of concerns. “Well…” he tried, “the medical wizards here are really good. I’d be shocked if they don’t have him—”
      “Are his people really starving?” she asked.
      “I think it’s mostly an economic—”
      “Because we’ve got this war going on here and those gnomes in Trenal are being occupied by Eldesia but then I wonder how many lizard-people are going to starve because I…”
      Draevin rested a hand on her shoulder and made a gentle hushing sound. He wasn’t sure if it was going to work but it seemed to have stopped her fretting for the moment. “You’re trying to take on way too much, kid. You don’t have to save the whole world. Just focus on one thing at a time that you know you can make better and do that. You don’t have to do every right thing. Sometimes it’s enough to just do a right thing. Do you control Sharack?”
      Tenna sniffled. “No,” she admitted.
      At least he had her talking. “Right. So who do you control?”
      “Me?” she asked uncertainly.
      Draevin tutted at her. “Uh uh uh. It’s not a question. Do you control yourself?”
      “Yeah.”
      “Good. Now are you responsible for anything Sharack does?”
      “I guess not.” Draevin tutted at her again and she quickly revised her answer. “No,” she said.
      “That’s right,” Draevin agreed. “You don’t control anyone else but you and that means you’re only responsible for what you do. What would happen if you let Sharack beat you because you felt bad for him and next round he was defeated by someone you could have easily beaten? Then neither of you get your wish.” Draevin reached out a finger and caught the last tear on Tenna’s cheek. “All you can do is fight for what you believe in and trust that everything else will just work itself out.”
      “Are you sure?” she asked. She was all wide-eyed innocence.
      “I’m sure,” Draevin said. Tenna suddenly leaned in towards him. He caught her by the shoulder before she fell over. “Oh sorry, I didn’t realize how exhausted you must be.” Draevin stood up and offered her a hand. Her cheeks were flushed a deep crimson when he pulled her to her feet.
      “Umm. Yeah,” she agreed, “I probably just need to curl up under a blanket and die.”
      Draevin chuckled at her little joke. “Not literally I hope.” A dark form clinked its way down the service tunnel. Draevin looked over to see Istven headed for him and a chill ran down his back. He nodded politely as the deposed eldrin prince made his way to his fighter box. “Good luck out there,” he offered.
      Istven chuckled like he found the very notion of luck humorous. “I found what you were looking for. I’ll come find you later.”
      What you were looking for? Draevin cursed Peter internally, but externally he simply nodded politely.
      “You know him?” Tenna asked after Istven walked by. She was back to looking concerned.
      “In a manner of speaking,” Draevin answered evasively. “Come on, let’s get out of here.” Draevin led the pair of them through the tunnel and back up to the main corridor. He flagged down a nearby bratwurst stand. “Two sausages, please,” he told the vendor.
      “What are you doing?” Tenna asked, looking shyly down at the ground for some reason.
      “You need to refuel after your match,” Draevin explained.
      Tenna looked up and frowned slightly in a sort of disappointed way. “Oh, right,” she said.
      The vendor reached out to hand the sausages over to Tenna, but just as he did a goblin that must’ve been crouched behind Draevin dived up and snatched one of them. The red-skinned cretin was already stuffing the sausage in its mouth before its feet even hit the ground. He scuffled off faster than thought.
      “Bastard!” the merchant yelled. He shook a fist ineffectually at the fleeing goblin. He turned back to point an accusing finger at Draevin. “You let the damn thing hide behind you!” he said.
      Draevin held up his hands innocently. “Honest mistake,” he explained, “I wasn’t paying attention.” He pulled four coppers out of his money pouch and handed them over. “Here, I’ll pay for both of them.”
      Tenna looked down at the remaining sausage, and then offered it to Draevin. “Here,” she said.
      Draevin pushed her hand back. “No, I insist. You just wiped out your mana reserves. I wasn’t that hungry anyway.”
      “Please take your seats, the next match between Istven and Anise is about to begin,” Maeve announced in a voice that reverberated around the arena.
      Draevin gestured to the back exit out of the vendor corridor. “You should probably head to the guildhall anyway and report in,” he told Tenna. “The winner of this next match is going to face me in round two, so I need to go watch.”
      “Sure thing,” Tenna agreed. She raised an eyebrow at Draevin. “Did you really think I did good?” she asked hesitantly.
      “Of course you did!” Draevin said with some real enthusiasm. “That move with the invisible ice spike was really impressive. Did you make that one up yourself?”
      Tenna positively beamed at the praise. “I did!” she said proudly. “If you like it, I could maybe teach it to you this evening.”
      “You’d do that?”
      “Of course! We can meet up after the matches are over.” She gave him a wink. “It’s a date,” she said.
      Draevin just laughed. “You got it, kid.”
      Tenna frowned for some reason, but before Draevin could ask about it Maeve’s voice sounded with the announcement for the next match. “Istven is an eldrin umbramancer representing…
      “I’ve got to go. Enjoy the sausage!” Draevin shouted as he ran back to his viewing box without another word of goodbye. He made it back to the viewing box while the announcements were still ongoing. Peter and Sylnya were still there.
      “How was your date?” Sylnya asked. She gave him an exaggerated wink.
      Draevin glared at her. “It wasn’t a date,” he told her. “Now hush.”
      “…to restore the Haedril line to the throne of Eldesia,” Maeve was saying. Istven waved to the crowd as though to his adoring fans, though very few of the eldrin or elves in the audience were very enthusiastic about the idea of his family of bloody tyrants reclaiming power in one of the most powerful nations in the world. Despite being a notoriously unpopular candidate Istven commanded enough fear that very few members of the audience were actually willing to boo him.
      Sylnya almost started to but Draevin jabbed her in the side with an elbow. “Please don’t,” he pleaded. She just snickered the way she did when she thought she’d told a particularly funny joke. Probably she’d never actually intended to boo.
      Not needing to wait for the crowd to quiet down, Maeve quickly moved on to the introduction for Istven’s opponent, another eldrin. His opponent was a female that wore her long white hair down around her shoulders. Instead of a proper robe or jumpsuit of some kind this woman wore a flowing purple dress that dragged on the ground and didn’t at all appear to be suited to combat. She had the classic pale white skin and glowing eyes of most eldrin, and on her head rested a diadem with a shining pink gem set in the middle. “Anise is an eldrin oneiromancer representing the Oneiromancer’s Guild of Eldesia,” Maeve said. “Her item is the Diadem of Waking Dreams and her wish if she wins this year’s tournament is to extend the range of the Diadem of Waking Dreams to cover the entire planet.
      This ambitious wish earned a murmur from those in the crowd who realized the significance of her wish to those in the audience that didn’t. “I don’t get it,” Peter said while Anise held up her diadem for the crowd to see, “what’s so great about this pendant?”
      “Beats me,” Sylnya said. “Drae?”
      “I don’t know,” Draevin admitted, “I’ve never heard of it either.” There was a tattoo of a third eye on her forehead that could only be seen while the diadem was removed. Peter scribbled down some notes, and looked like he was about to ask a follow-up question, but Maeve continued her introduction.
      “Is reality too hard?” Maeve asked with unexpected gusto. “Want to escape to another world? Anise invites those interested to join the OE today and make your wildest dreams come true. You’ll find kiosks in the concession stands with all the information you need. Anyone that signs up during the tournament will qualify for a special promotional membership fee of only nine gold per month for the first year. Conditions apply, sign up today!
      Anise returned her diadem to her head, with the gem resting comfortably over her forehead tattoo. She waved to the crowd and got more of a response than Istven, but still not nearly as much as the more established fighters like Sylnya usually received.
      “How is she supposed to fight in that dress?” Peter asked.
      “No fucking clue,” Sylnya said, “it looks ridiculous. Didn’t she qualify in the first heat of the prelims with you Drae?”
      “Don’t look at me,” Draevin said. “I saw her lying on the ground during the prelims and assumed she was dead. We only found out at the end she was just sleeping, so I really don’t know how she fights.”
      “Oneiromancy is dream magic,” Peter explained, “so maybe she was fighting but you just couldn’t tell how.” He started fiddling with those damn glasses of his again. The light coming through flashed through a series of colors.
      “Okay Peter, that’s enough,” Draevin said in annoyance. “I can tell you’re doing something deliberate with those damn glasses—”
      Maeve gave the signal to the judges and the bell chime interrupted Draevin’s complaint by signaling the start of the match.
      Istven started a series of hand motions right away. He seemed relaxed: more interested in keeping an eye on his opponent than rushing through his spell. Anise on the other hand promptly pulled out a frilled pillow and waved to the crowd. She set the pillow carefully on the ground, smiled to her fans, then lay down and went to sleep.
Index Next Patreon Discord
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Hey readers. I decided to make the next chapter free on Patreon right now. Just follow the "Next" link. The chart detailing my magic system is also free, so you can take a look at it while you're over there. It's right here. Have nice weekend! :)
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2020.10.09 18:06 HagerEKU [US-KY] [H] Pops Happy Friday! [W] Paypal

I have a little of everything for sale here. Take your pick and shoot me any questions. Shipping is $5 for one pop and an additional $2 for each pop after. More pics can be provided. Soft protectors can be added for $1

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2020.10.08 16:19 HagerEKU [US-KY] [H] Huge Wall of POPs [W] Paypal

I have a little of everything for sale here. Take your pick and shoot me any questions. Shipping is $5 for one pop and an additional $2 for each pop after. More pics can be provided. Soft protectors can be added for $1

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2020.10.08 14:59 Verastahl What does your baby taste like?

Is this Chloe?
Who’s this?
So this is Chloe, right?
Um, yeah, but I don’t know this number. Who is this?
You know me, Chloe.
Is this Brian?
No. Not even close. But it doesn’t matter. I need something from you.
Sure you do. Fuck off creep.
Nothing like that. I just need to ask you a question.
Is this Lindsey? Did you get a new number, or what is this?
Just a simple question. And then I’ll leave you alone for now.
Fine. Ask your stupid question. LINDSEY.
What does your baby taste like?
Chloe Merrick was being housed at the Broadview Psychiatric Hospital for the Criminally Insane when the video transcribed below was made. The other party was Dr. Sylvia Peters, a newer member of the treatment staff that was taking over the case from Dr. Richard Talpin, a senior doctor who had recently left the hospital for a chief of staff position elsewhere. Despite his expertise, Talpin had made little progress during his six months of working with Chloe, and it was hoped that Peters’ fresh perspective and approach might yield better results. The transcript below reflects the final portion of their first and only session together.
You’ve seen these before, haven’t you?
The photographs of your texts? Yes, Chloe, I’ve seen them. I’ve gone through your file thoroughly, and it has lots of details in it. Including those texts you say you received back when you first found out you were pregnant.
No, no. See, that’s just it. I wasn’t pregnant. Or, I guess I was, but I didn’t know it yet. Not for another month.
Mmm-hmm.
And I know you don’t believe me. Any more than Talpin did. And after what…what they found, I don’t blame them. They think I’m crazy. I guess I probably am. But that happened. It fucking happened. Those texts prove that, right?
Chloe, I don’t know how productive going back over this well-trod ground is going to be, but you’ve been cooperative today, so I’m willing to go down this road with you just a bit further. Just a bit though, okay? Okay. Now, to answer your question. I know you showed these texts to police. And to your other doctors. And you say that you received these texts back in October of 2017, almost nine months before you gave birth to your baby and well before the…well, the incident seven months ago.
Yeah, that’s right. And that proves that…
Chloe, all that proves is that you got strange texts. Or that you manufactured these texts yourself to try and provide a strange justification or alibi for what you’ve done. I know, I know what you’re going to say. How could you have made up those texts? To which I say, people can do all kinds of things on computers these days. I’m not accusing you of anything, of course, but I always want to have an honest relationship with you, and I think it can be fruitfuI to explore such possibilities.
So what, I made up texts somehow, took pictures of it, and then waited to have a baby and…fuck, that’s so stupid and horrible. It makes no sense.
Maybe, or you could have made it in the days leading up to the incident. The dates could be faked just as easily as the rest, right? Perhaps you don’t remember doing it, just like you don’t remember…well, the other.
You stupid bitch. Listen to…
No. Chloe, I’m sorry but no. I won’t tolerate abusive language. We’re going to treat each other with respect or this session is done and you can go back to C Wing. Is that what you want?
No. No, I’m sorry. I just. I didn’t fake this. Any of this. And…and I didn’t hurt my baby.
Then tell me what happened. Did you ever find out who sent those texts?
No. You know I didn’t. And I was creeped out a little, but I figured it was just a weird prank. Some kid who knew me and used a burner or something. Then I found out I was pregnant, and sure, I thought about it again, but it seemed so silly, and I was having to navigate things with Jackson…um, the father, which was already a complicated relationship before there was a baby in the mix. But we worked it out, got engaged, and everything was going well. We had the baby, he was a sweet…a sweet and healthy…little boy…
Chloe, I know this is hard. Believe me, I wish it wasn’t. But if we’re going to do any real work in here, we have to be able to talk about the rough stuff, okay? Now take your time, and then please go on.
Yeah…okay…um, so everything was fine. And then one day…I woke up with people shouting at me. Police and one of the neighbors. My hands and face were sticky and covered in dirt, and I was in the back yard. They kept asking what I’d done with Paulie, with my baby. Where was he, what had I done with him? I told them I didn’t know. It was the truth. At the time, I didn’t.
At the time? So later you remembered?
Not exactly, but…look, when I was little, I used to play in our garden. And I have these memories of…well, it was like music, except it wasn’t, because it was talking to me. Only to me, okay? And people thought I just had an imaginary friend.
Ah, I see. And you think this friend wasn’t imaginary? Some kind of ghost or demon or some such?
God. I know what this sounds like. A twenty-five year old trying to talk herself out of a murder or…Look, I’m not stupid. I know that age-wise and genetically I’m in the spectrum for schizophrenia. Believe me, all I have to do in here is read and fucking hate myself. I know what Talpin thought was wrong, and I’m sure you’re just the same.
Don’t be so quick to judge, Chloe. I can assure you that I’m very different from Talpin. My question was an earnest one. I wasn’t trying to mock you or imply anything. Did you think that something supernatural was going on when you were a child?
I…back then, I don’t know. Everything is kind of magic when you’re little, right? I just had this special friend for awhile. A fairy prince or whatever that was going to carry me away to his magical land. But of course that never happened. And as I got older, I talked to it less and it answered less. At first I thought it was sleeping, then I thought it had gone away, and then I just forgot about it. I mean, it was just stupid kid stuff.
But when I was in that hospital bed, wrists strapped to the rails and a deputy staring at me with that disgusted fucking look from the corner of the room, like I could have done something like that…I just wanted to die. And I was so desperate to give them answers…wanted to help…hoped they’d still find Paulie and he’d somehow be okay…that’s when it came back to me.
What came back to you?
That I was in the back yard with Paulie. I was showing him a caterpillar I’d found on one of the bushes out there. He was always such a happy baby, and he was laughing and…then there was music. That talking music saying something so loud and fast and then…then they found me like that.
Covered in your baby’s blood.
Fuck you. Yes, okay. Yes. But I swear to God I didn’t hurt him. I could never. I…I’m ready to go now. I don’t want to talk about this any more.
We’re almost done, Chloe. Just a few more…
No. I’m done now. I want to go.
Chloe, I think we’re very close to a breakthrough here. I want to try something. I call it trust whispering. We take turns whispering things to each other. Things that are secret or that we are ashamed to admit or that we’ve just never shared with anyone. And it’ll be both of us sharing, so it won’t feel so one-sided. How does that sound?
Like shit. I want to go now.
I’ll go first. And what I’m going to tell you…well, it’s something I know about all this. Something I think you’ll be very interested to find out. Something that will change everything for you. But…
What? What is it? What did you find out?
…but, just like everything between us, you have to agree to it. I’ve never lied to you. Never forced you. So? What do you say?
Fine, fine. Just tell me. What did you find out about Paulie?
No, no. I just told you the rules. We’re going to whisper. So I’ll just come over here and whisper it to you, just…like…this.
It’s at this point in the video that several things happen in short order. Dr. Peters, having stood and then crouched down near where Chloe is seated, leans close as though to whisper to her. Immediately, the sound breaks up into a high-pitched static whine that is first taken as a malfunction, though processing of the audio has since shown it to be something else entirely. This lasts for several seconds, an expression of awakening terror spreading across Chloe’s features. At first she appears frozen, but then, as she recoils in horror from Dr. Peters, the other woman grips her shoulders and starts savagely biting her. Blood sprays across the floor and walls, and the video ends due to what is being classified as a camera failure.
The interview was not being independently monitored at the time, so it was nearly an hour before anyone went to check on the doctor and her patient. Neither were found, with only the sprays of blood and the recording itself as evidence of what occurred. The only new evidence has come from the completed audio restoration of what was said during the “feedback” right before the attack on Chloe. The “clean” version is still far from pristine—there appear to be at least three different melodical sounds being played simultaneously with the isolated voice. And while the voice itself matches Dr. Peters according to several utilized pattern recognition metrics, it is also inexplicably different along several others. Regardless of these irregularities, the words themselves have been identified and are reproduced without further commentary below.
Rosemary. He tasted of pain and fear and the blood that springs from your cleft. And the sweet dusk of rosemary. Hush now. You have paid your way fairly, as I always knew you would. Time to take you home.
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2020.10.05 20:28 HagerEKU [US-KY] [H] Hundreds of pops [W] Paypal

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2020.10.04 18:32 HagerEKU [US-KY] [H] Long list of pops [W] Paypal

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2020.10.02 17:03 HagerEKU [US-KY] [H] POPs to start your weekend off right [W] Paypal

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2020.10.01 14:53 HagerEKU [US-KY] [H] Hundreds of funkos [W] Paypal

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2020.10.01 09:49 SonOfScions Just More Human 1.2 - Capt Mandy Cortez

Prologue: https://www.reddit.com/HFY/comments/j04zvh/just_more_human/
Part 1: https://www.reddit.com/HFY/comments/j3492i/just_more_human_11/

I looked down at the poor Human and wondered what twist of crappy luck had pulled him from earth, into the labor section of a stolen alien / earth colony ship bound on a two-hundred-year journey and then marked for a bloodletting by one of her crew. Either he was the single most unlucky man in the universe, or the luckiest. I really wasn’t sure which. Time would tell I supposed.
“Well” she said. First off I would like to apologize for the actions of my crewmate.”
“Um. no problem. And can I say from the bottom of my heart, I am sorry for biting you.”
I almost smiled, took a breath to stifle my smirk and then got into telling him the bad news.
“I am afraid to say that I am now down a crewman. Because of the unusual circumstances of your being here, I can offer you a choice, you can take his position for the time being, one of my officers can train you. Or we can wake up someone else and see if they will swap with you.”
He thought about it for only half a second before answering. “Id like to stay, all the same to you. Space vampires, geez. You know if I told folks back home that there were vampires in space, they would walk away quick and mumble something about drugs. But here we are, floating through space…”
“Cody was it?”
“Yes Mam”
“Is there any reason you are giving yourself exposition?”
“To be honest mam, my day has been really weird. By my reckoning, yesterday I was in a prison yard when a guy rolls up asking for volunteers for some labor. They gave me new clothes, put me in a Cryocoon an hour ago, filled my head with dreams that I’m now realizing were training simulations, got woken up and attacked and now find I’m on a spaceship crewed by vampires. I’ve had a few rodeos, but this one is taking me a minute so ya. I’m going to exposize for myself.”
She had been leading him to one of the lift cars, getting in she offered the seat next to hers. Almost before he had sat down, she had typed in a series of digits into the keypad and the car took off.
“Then allow me to return the favor and ‘exposize’ as you said. You are on the Exeter colony ship bound for Iridece, you will be replacing Peter, one of my cargo haulers. I will get you authorized, and then his cabin will be your home until his sentence is up or you prove incompetent. You’ll report to Master Tokoroa tomorrow at 0800. Breakfast is in the mess at 0600. Any questions?”
“Several thousand.”
“I have enough time for one before we get you to your new home and me back to the bridge.”
He thought about it. I expected it would be something about lodging or supplies but he surprised me.
“Can I go back to my old pod?”
I had to physically stop myself from rolling my eyes. What kind of laborer was willing to give up after hearing about the schedule? “You want to swap back already? You haven’t even been out an hour?”
“Oh no, I just… I was just wondering is all.”
I thought about it, normally the crew tended to stay in the main cabin and lounge areas, there was a nearly unlimited supply of media, books, podcasts movies and music. As long as Earth broadcast The Beam, they would always have the most up to date options. It was always a treat when someone stumbled across a new show we could watch together. But there weren’t really any off-limits areas, the ship was huge but two hundred years was a long time and even with a small crew of twenty vampires. Well nineteen vampires and one human. You’d need your solitude.
“Yes, you are free to go as you please so long as your shift work is done.”
“Thank you” He said. The car rolled to a stop in front of Peters’ old cabin. I touched the controls and they blinked green as the door opened. I gestured him forward and had him touch the door pad control. It blinked green three times and it was done.
“This is your room now” she pointed inside and then cringed internally. He took a step inside and froze.
“Thank you, Captain. If its alright id like to clean up.” The room was a mess of clothes and debris, plastic planes had been hung from the ceiling and model alien soldiers were lined up facing a parade of painted human figurines on a small table on the corner.
“I would ask that you please be gentle with Peters personal things.”
He looked troubled again. Almost angry. She watched him control his breathing and could hear it when his heart beat slowed.
“Ya, one more question, do I have access to the net? Media, ship status, trainings things like that?”
“I will have Diemious add you to the ships server.”
“Thank you, Captain.”
“Don’t thank me, this is a failing on my part, I am simply trying to balance the scales.”
He had stopped on the edge of the clutter crouching down to examine a small plastic tank.
“Dinner is at 1900. I hope you’ll come. Cook is making macaroni and cheese with fruit tarts for desert…”
“Thank you, captain.” He didn’t turn around, I think he was waiting for me to leave. And I obliged. Still, it was troubling. He mentioned he was in prison, I wondered what for. I made a mental note to have Master Tokoroa keep an eye on him. In the meantime, I had a ship to run, ten thousand humans and twenty vampires to keep safe. She had a thousand things to wonder about. Time to get started.
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2020.09.30 14:36 HagerEKU [US-KY] [H] POPs on Hump day! [W] Paypal

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2020.09.01 20:18 Gavin_Magnus Critique of A Cadmean Victory

A few months ago I began to read A Cadmean Victory because it is so frequently recommended in this subreddit. Yesterday I finished it, and here is a critique of it that I’ve been writing while reading, and a few suggestions of making it better. This is meant for those who have read the story and know what happens in it. If you haven’t and are going to, I warn you: spoilers ahead!
INTRODUCTION
I am a very perfectionist person: I notice flaws more easily than merits. I have very high standards, and when I read a story and encounter things I don’t like, I add them to a mental list of things that should be better. I don’t have a mental list of things that are good. That’s why this review appears to be just a long list of flaws and seemingly bitter complaints, and it’s easy to come to the conclusion that I hate the story and just want to rub my bad feelings to the face of the rest of the world like some Mr Plinkett. This is not so. I actually finished reading A Cadmean Victory despite its immense length, which is rare for a fan fiction story, especially one so massive. I had to find it sufficiently entertaining (although at some points only writing this critique urged me to continue), and that means I cannot give it a mark lower than Acceptable. (Exceeds Expectations would be too much.) Please, keep that in mind. I will do my best to point out things in the story that are actually good.
GENERAL
The prose of the story is generally good. Not professional level, and not impressive in any point, but better than the prose in more than ninety percent of fan fiction stories. There never was a moment when the writing was so clumsy or sloppy that it would have irritated me.
However, the overall tone and, shall I say, proportions of the story feel out of place. The beginning was rushed, as if the writer just wanted to get it over with and onto the actual plot. In the very first chapter Harry is first chatting with Hermione, then gets to the Quidditch World Cup, then has some insights about the Veela, then returns to the tent with the Weasleys, then the Death Eaters attack and Harry ends up killing Barty Crouch Junior. Too much was packed in one chapter, and as a result I found it impossible to immerse in the story. It was told in a boring, emotionless tone, skipping moments when Harry probably felt varying emotions. I almost stopped reading right then.
But later in the story the writer has no trouble using several chapters to tell about trivial things. For example, the first half of Chapter 68 is just light-hearted small-talk of Harry and his friends, Katie and Neville. At that point their friendship has been established long ago. That episode serves no function whatsoever, not the plot, not character development, not anything. Parts like it should be removed. The same applies to some of the romance parts. It may be nice for the writer to imagine all these lovely dates with a dream girl, but the reader just gets bored and annoyed. It’s totally unnecessary to tell about furniture shopping in Chapter 74 when the story should be building up tension for the climax. I actually got so bored at that point that I stopped reading the story for two weeks and read two books before returned. And I returned only because I had already begun writing this review. As late in the story as in Chapter 94 the writer admits in a note that the chapter is mainly filler. Remove the filler!
Another thing where the writer uses too many words is the lectures about magic. Early in the story Harry and Salazar Slytherin’s portrait discuss many topics of magic, and the discussions are far too long and thorough. The rituals and other magic systems are probably well thought out, but they were told in the wrong way. It is unnecessary for the reader to receive all the information that Harry does. I want to read a story, not someone’s meticulously thorough deep-dive thesis about how magic works! Such knowledge has no applications in real life, and is plot-wise irrelevant even inside the story. Instead of the long dialogues it should have been told as a summarised version by the narrator, maybe spiced with some of Harry’s ideas about them.
Another huge flaw in the tone is the fact that there are climaxes and anticlimaxes over and over again, and none of them seem to have consequences to Harry’s mental state after the one in Chapter 1. In Chapter 35 he confronts Voldemort for the first time, and in Chapter 36 he is starting his relationship with Fleur, not shaken or traumatised at all. In Chapter 65 he confronts Voldemort again, and in Chapter 67 he is back at Hogwarts toying with his friends. In Chapter 76 he confronts Voldemort yet again, and in Chapter 77 he is having nice time with his friends in Diagon Alley. In Chapter 98 he confronts Voldemort once more, and Chapter 100 begins with Harry and Fleur teasing each other before the final climax begins abruptly, without much built-up tension. This makes the story feel disoriented, breaking the immersion, and the lack of mental consequences make Harry feel inhuman, like some kind of robot. More about that.
CHARACTERS
Characters are probably the most important part of any story. Relatable and likable characters make a story good even if the plot is not that good, and even a good plot doesn’t feel like much if the reader is unable to feel its impact through the characters. Sadly, A Cadmean Victory lacks this most important part. Let’s analyse the four most important characters and find out why they do not make a good story.
Harry
Harry is supposed to be a slightly more introverted version of the character we know from J. K. Rowling’s books. Until the summer of 1994 he has gone through all the same events as the canon Harry, but they have a different impact on his person due to his introversion. This starting point is a good one. I am an introvert myself, and I thought, “Good, relating to this kind of Harry should be easier!” But, like I said, Harry feels inhuman.
The main character of a story may be a hero in which case the reader relates to him, likes him, and hopes him to succeed. Or he can be a villain in which case the reader enjoys him being ruthless even though he is not a nice person. A Cadmean Victory tries to combine these two types of main character, but fails utterly. The reader is clearly supposed to like and relate to Harry, but then Harry becomes a cold-blooded murderer. He murders Rita Skeeter just because she was being annoying and because framing the murder to appear to be committed by Death Eaters was strategically beneficial, but afterwards Harry is only concerned about Fleur’s disapproval.
From that point on I could not relate to Harry, but I could not enjoy him as a villainous main character either. As far as I am concerned, at that point Harry is as evil as Voldemort, and the story is about a child who evolves into a monster. Killing Pettigrew at least felt like a justified revenge, killing Umbridge was kind of divine justice, and the killed Death Eaters can be considered casualties of war, but the Skeeter episode just convinced me that Harry is a deranged psychopath whom I would like to see dying as well. Furthermore, all the boring small-talk episodes after the murder got a creepy undertone. Here is Katie, a normal teenage girl, hanging out with his friend Harry – who has murdered a woman for being annoying and felt no guilt or remorse afterwards. How am I supposed to enjoy reading about their day when all I can think is what if Harry snaps, kills Katie, and then feels absolutely nothing?
Harry totally lacks character development. The reader gets no such insight to his mental state that would explain him becoming a murderer. To put it simply, Harry is wildly out of character, but the reader does not actually learn what kind of person he is. There are more examples of this. When he finds out that he is Voldemort’s Horcrux, he quite easily accepts the fact that he will have to die. However, for a few chapters he is absolutely adamant that “he will not become nothing” or something like that. In other words, he gets some morbid satisfaction from the thought that even though he will have to die, he will die in such a remarkable way that his heroic sacrifice will be remembered and admired. But the canon Harry was never a glory hound. I would be okay with this kind of mindset if it was explained well. It was not explained at all. I think the writer just wanted to create some contrast to the happier and more confident Harry he became, and thus he needed to have some moments of desperation and depression.
Fleur
It’s generally awful to read a romance story where one side of the romance is a psychopath. However, A Cadmean Victory at least has the merit that the other side is also unlikable.
Fleur’s most important character traits are bad temper and jealousy. Whenever she has a disagreement with someone, she treats them with contempt, usually threatens them with something, and swears angrily. Whenever someone is even slightly interested in Harry, she gets mad and fantasises about setting them on fire. There are no moments when she expresses any empathy or goodwill for anyone but her family members and boyfriend. And then Fleur too becomes a cold-blooded murderess who feels no remorse after killing an underage bystander in his own home for the crime of knowing too much. Oh, and then she and Harry just go home and are jubilant about how much they love each other. How is anyone supposed to like and relate to them? A Cadmean Victory is the only piece of literature I have ever encountered in which the good looks of a girl is more important and makes up for a vile personality, and I find it quite repulsive. At least both main characters are rotten apples, so at least I don’t need to be concerned about it if they eventually kill each other.
Also, why is Fleur of all people Harry’s love interest? Her entire personality and special Veela abilities are irrelevant to the plot. Nothing would actually change if she was replaced with some other girl. Is it just the fact that Fleur is the best-looking girl in the story? I dislike stories that feel like a personal fantasy of the writer.
Neville
Also Neville is out of character. In this story he is vengeful above all else: he hates the Lestranges and Crouch Junior with rage he can barely contain, and wants to kill them personally. That is both the total antithesis of the canon Neville and implausible too. Neville was too young to know his parents, so he should not be able to feel so strongly about their fate. He would be an interesting character if he had the feeling that he should hate the Lestranges and Crouch, but actually couldn’t. Their crimes would be like the crimes of some random historical people committed against random victims: worthy of being strongly disapproved, but something he just couldn’t take personally. That’s just how emotions like this work. You can’t form strong emotions based on stories you have been told but not experienced yourself. As a result, Neville is reduced to an angry and bitter sidekick who can barely keep up with Harry’s amazing power and talent. It’s a total waste of character that could be removed from the story without changing the plot. Neville has no impact in the climax of the story. He is present and told doing things, but then he ends up being irrelevant. Nothing was told about what happened to him afterwards which makes it feel that all the long chapters in which Harry trained him were pointless to the ultimate conclusion of the story and his own character arc, i.e. filler.
Katie
Katie was actually an interesting character because she felt like a real person and not a caricature like the three other most important characters. She caused a love triangle in the story, and I could empathize with her on some level. On one hand, I would have liked her to be successful in her love life, because she was a much more pleasant person than Fleur, but on the other hand, I would not have liked such a normal, likable girl end up with a monster like Harry. Her death was supposed to be a tough situation for Harry, but apart from one of Harry’s brief fits of rage, there were no consequences to Harry’s mental state or the plot. In the end, Katie felt like one of the many wasted characters of the story.
ROMANCE
Harry and Fleur initially dislike each other, but then find some kind of strong personal connection because of their similarities. They both think about the other one before the romance begins, but I never understood it how they turned out to love each other. And even stranger is how Fleur comes to consider Harry the most important thing in her life, so important that she has no problems with Harry being a psychopath who murders a woman for being annoying. (She even continues teasing Harry, taking the risk of being the next annoying woman to face the ultimate penalty.) It seems like the writer wanted to give some insight to their thoughts because that’s what happens in good romance stories, but only made it even more confusing. In Chapter 64 Harry looks into the Mirror of Erised and sees himself with a family with Fleur. In Chapter 71 he is suddenly uneasy about being committed to his relationship with her. It seems that the writer wanted an unrealistically effortless beginning for such a perfect romance, but at the same time acknowledged that it needs some obstacles to be interesting to the audience. The result is convoluted and implausible.
The story would be much better if the entire romance was removed. The main problem is that romance and a total war against cartoonishly evil bad guys are quite incompatible genres of literature. Normal people are unable to invest emotionally in a romance if a mortal danger lurks everywhere and they know they are being targeted by an overpowered bad guy.
The lack of relationship dynamics also bothered me. Apart from Harry enjoying Fleur feeling jealous and protective, they are on a lovely honeymoon almost the entire time. They don’t learn new facets of each other, they never face serious moments of doubt or willingness to end the relationship. In fact, the romance would be an interesting one if Harry and Fleur had vastly differing hopes and expectations. Like the following, for example. Harry is stressed about the war and seeks comfort from Fleur. She, being the older one of the pair and having no such personal concerns, is willing to get a closer and more intimate relationship, and is disappointed when he is emotionally unable to comply. She learns more about people and lets go of her non-empathic composure. Defeating Voldemort becomes a mutual goal for them, because they know their relationship can flourish only if Harry is freed from his emotional burden. At the end of the story, they have both learned much about each other and life in general, and everything is fine. That would be a story worth telling!
This is a friendly advice for all aspiring authors: if you don’t have personal experience in romantic relationships, it’s usually not a good idea to write stories about them. Of course, I don’t know any personal details of the writer of A Cadmean Victory, but from the tone of the story I suspect he/she was around twenty years old when writing and inexperienced in romantic relationships.
PLOT
Divergence type fan fiction stories usually follow the Stations of the Canon, i.e. the events of the books. I actually like it, because I find it interesting to explore the ramifications of the divergence. A Cadmean Victory, however, is a bad example of divergence, because it follows the Stations of the Canon even after it doesn’t make any sense.
At the beginning, Harry kills Barty Crouch Junior, and sometime during the next school year he kills Peter Pettigrew. Even though that should have totally derailed the canon plot, the Triwizard Tournament takes place with Harry as the fourth Champion, and he gets taken to Little Hangleton where he confronts the resurrected Voldemort and then escapes. The Ministry doesn’t believe him and Umbridge is being annoying, there is the adventure in the Department of Mysteries where Harry fights Death Eaters and Voldemort, and the Ministry learns the truth. There is the Horcrux hunt and Dumbledore dies following the events in the cave, then the Death Eaters almost take over Britain, there is the break-in to Gringotts, and the final showdown between Harry and Voldemort in Hogwarts. It’s mind-boggling how little things change even though for Harry so many things happen differently.
Harry gets taught by Salazar Slytherin’s portrait and does several rituals that make him more powerful, and he gets help from Fleur, but these things don’t change the overall plot. It’s unbelievable that someone is willing to go through the trouble of writing a 500,000 word story with own world-building and unique subplots, but then change next to nothing about the main plot. It was very disappointing and showed striking lack of creativity when compared to the more unique parts.
Many plot details were strange and annoying.
I never understood how Harry’s name ended up in the Goblet of Fire. In one of the early Fleur’s point of view chapters she witnesses Harry putting his name in the Goblet, but later Harry is surprised that the Goblet selected him. Did Fleur see someone who was Polyjuiced as Harry? It was never explained.
And then there was Peter Pettigrew hanging out at Hogwarts for some reason. I think he was giving orders to the Imperiused Ludo Bagman, but why was it necessary to do at Hogwarts? Wasn’t Bagman in London most of the time? But the most annoying thing is that even though Harry sees Pettigrew on the Marauder’s Map several times, he doesn’t do anything about it. Yes, I get it he doesn’t trust Dumbledore as much as he once did, but isn’t capturing Pettigrew quite an important thing? Why was Harry unwilling to interact even so little with Dumbledore as telling him about Pettigrew’s suspicious presence would have been? The entire Pettigrew subplot was ridiculous, like some kind of a side quest of a video game: Harry knows it is not necessary to act right now. Pettigrew will be there even if Harry wastes several opportunities to catch him.
A similar type of thing is that Voldemort repeatedly lets Harry go for no real reason. Yes, he wants to know how Harry would turn out given time, but considering Voldemort wanted to kill Harry when he was a baby it is totally out of character for Voldemort. He doesn’t take the risk of anyone equalling him. Voldemort’s stupidity also evaporates the tension from the story. When the reader knows that confronting Voldemort is not an almost guaranteed death, all those confrontations lack the necessary tension for an interesting adventure story. The story offers no surprises, the final confrontation will happen only when Harry is ready!
Harry’s stupidity about important tools annoyed me. He totally wastes the final use of the Time Turner and the Felix Felicis for unimportant things even though he knew he was going to face Voldemort eventually. Any sensible person would have saved them for the confrontation.
WORLD BUILDING
World building deserves recognition, but A Cadmean Victory creates several plot holes by taking Rowling’s world into the wrong direction. Specifically, the rituals.
There are lots of rituals, far too many for any plot purposes. I guess the writer wanted some kind of explanation for Harry becoming so powerful so quickly. That is better than no explanation, but when there is a new ritual every ten chapters or so, it becomes excessive. Harry should have done them all at once. Alternatively, skip the rituals altogether and come up with something entirely else. Magic opens so many possibilities; why does Harry have to beat Voldemort with superb power? Some creative application of previously known magic would be much more satisfying and spare the reader of many boring scenes with loads of inconsequential information.
Perhaps the over-emphasizing of power could be parallelised with a story of Harry Potter and Voldemort as weightlifters. Voldemort is the strongest weightlifter in the world, and Harry knows that if he is to win, he must become even stronger. Then the story tells about how Harry exercises and uses doping. Eventually he is stronger than Voldemort and triumphs. Not a very interesting story, I would say. The reader cannot feel Harry’s exercising, thus making it impossible for the reader to attach to the story. But how about a story where Harry realises that he doesn’t need to be stronger than Voldemort, he just needs to be cleverer, and triumphs by other means? (Actually, at some point of A Cadmean Victory Harry does say that he plans to defeat Voldemort through cleverness rather than power, but nothing becomes of it.)
Also, there was no sufficient explanation to why so few wizards do these rituals. Yes, the ingredients are expensive and the knowledge was rare, but if a teenager can become the third most powerful wizard in a few years through them, I would think the wizarding world would mass-produce the ingredients and use all their time to craft more such rituals. Plot-wise, a good ritual requires a sacrifice that few people are willing to make. The Horcrux is a good example. The rituals should have made Harry less human. That would not even change the story as such a personality change happens regardless.
Then there is the fact that paintings are actually sentient. If they are capable of learning new things and interacting with living people like living people, why is it not customary in the wizarding world to immortalize everyone in paintings? If paintings are just as good teachers as living people, why are they not in charge of teaching at Hogwarts? Paintings should not be some kind of good Horcruxes.
MISCELLANEOUS
I found the direct quotes of thoughts annoying. Every now and then there is a short line in italics telling what Harry thinks. My problem is that usually people do not think in complete sentences. Thoughts are quick realisations and associations, and that is why it would be much better to let the narrator tell what kind of thoughts go through the mind of the main character. Direct quotes are okay if the character actually forms the complete sentences, for example when imagining a conversation, planning the line, or almost saying something but keeping quiet for some reason. This is just a minor detail, but when it happens over and over again for no good reason, it gets very annoying. It breaks the flow of the prose. Equally annoying is that usually the lines were so unimportant. If it is necessary to tell Harry’s opinion about a minor detail, why not spell out every single thought that forms in his mind? Or am I not believe that no thought processes take place apart from the ones written in italics?
But this next thing is a positive one. There is more social interaction with less close friends, something the Harry Potter books lack for some reason. (The most glaring example of this is in the Half-Blood Prince. At the start of the year Harry hears that the parents of the Patil twins would like to take their daughters out of Hogwarts. Then, just before Christmas, Harry says to Parvati, “How’re you? You’re staying at Hogwarts, then? I heard your parents wanted you to leave.” So, apparently, Harry never exchanged a single word of small-talk with her in more than three months before that?) Harry’s friendship with Katie is interesting partly because it should have been in the books.
This next thing is quite usual in fan fiction stories. Characters teasingly threaten each other like this: “If you get into danger, I’m gonna hex you until –!” Does that really happen between teenagers? Is that their way of expressing caring without appearing soft or sentimental? I have grown to hate it, because it’s like a trade mark of a writer who doesn’t know how real people interact.
CONCLUSION
Why was this story written? I think every story has some kind of creative spark, some moral the writer wants to tell the audience. But even after reading A Cadmean Victory, I don’t know what the moral is. It certainly is not that if Harry had been more independent, cunning, ambitious, and proactive, everything would have turned out for the better, because it didn’t! And it wasn’t that even though the so-called Dark Arts give you an advantage in a war, they are not good in the long run. In fact, the only moral I can think of about A Cadmean Victory is that it is okay to break into people’s homes and murder them for petty reasons. No, I don’t like it. Hermione is the voice of reason in this story, understanding Harry’s fall, but at the end it turns out she was being influenced by the locket Horcrux. I’m probably over thinking it, but it’s like a message to the reader: if you think Harry is evil, you’re influenced by Voldemort!
This is a divergence type of story. That means this is an alternative chain of events to canon, and we can judge if this is a better or worse outcome to the starting point. In the end, what is better than in canon: Fred, Cedric, and Snape survive. What is worse: Arthur, Katie, Hermione, and Ron die, as apparently does every Hogwarts professor, Teddy Lupin never gets born, Draco dies and loses his chance to get redeemed, Harry’s friendships with the Weasleys are ruined, and Harry and Fleur become monsters. Good for Fred, Cedric, and Snape, but overall I would say the outcome is much worse. So, apparently I read over half a million words and endured unlikable main characters just to learn that their sacrifice of their own humanity did not even make things better than the alternative. And there even was no clear or reasonable moral to the story. So, was this a story that needed or deserved to be told? If I could send a message back in time, I probably would advise my younger self not to bother reading this story.
Again, this does not mean that the story is bad. It just is not worth the trouble of reading over half a million words, because so much of it is filler and the important parts are plagued with flaws. Removing the filler parts, the inconsequential action sequences, the unnecessary lectures about magic, and most of the romance parts would make this a solid 150,000 word story without changing the plot at all. Then just a little more thought to the plot and character development would make this story a good one.
Many people consider this a very good Harry Potter fan fiction story, even among the best. I would like to read their thoughts about the things I have pointed out.
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2020.07.30 16:36 Soul_Man2004 Photographers

An editing base for David Bowie's photographers. From paparazzi to good friends.
The original was removed by bots so I'm using my profile instead. Don't think I'll be able to put it anywhere else.
Anyone coming into my profile to use this, feel free. It's unorganized as hell.
Notes: Low Symphony 92, 90 shades, 87 little girl and studio, red ghost duke
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