Bra dating tips

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Where is Date Mike?

2020.09.21 19:49 Westypet Where is Date Mike?

I’m on day 3 of a fully developed migraine, where the insomnia and restlessness has taken over. My brain has laughed at the pain meds’ attempt at band-aiding this bullet hole. Maybe writing out some of my insane thoughts will help.
EDIT 2: Thanks to the kind soul who messaged me to let me know that I deserved a broken iPad because kids break things and I should know better. Really? Thank you for your support.
[Cue Circus Music]
Bromos, welcome to my migraine mania brain. I hope you enjoy. This is also long AF.
Every step on the tile floor hurts. I should be reassured and grateful that I can even get out of bed today, but when I do, I can feel my brain jiggling against my head. It’s like stepping on spiky pebbles in a blistering ballet shoe... that’s slightly too small. But in your head.
Medication administration during and after a migraine is very much like managing a migraine itself. It’s a careful balancing of the scales overseen by what feels like a bitchy, sixth grade girl as the judge. A carefully crafted regimen of medicines after years of trial and error, or rather, pain and suffering, missed social and career opportunities, and absentee parenting while a nanny, babysitter, co-parent, or friend is left taking mommy’s place at random and mostly unpredictable times.
So much for planning.
A migraine is like a game of Jenga. Barometric pressure change? Hormone change? Poor food choice? Bright lights? Lack of sleep? Too much sleep? Alcohol? Mercury in retrograde? Any offset in the perfectly balanced scale can tip you over into the OH MY SWEET BABY MOSES HERE IS MY FIRST BORN JUST MAKE IT STOP stage of pain.
Then there’s the fun neurological symptoms that migraines sometimes bring along with them... like an odd, bonus guest at a party. Aura can affect any part of your brain just like a stroke can affect any area of your brain. Muscle weakness? Loss of bodily functions? How about wavy lines in your vision or blindness (try it while driving!) My personal favorites and typical aura symptoms are slurring words without the fun of partying to get that way, or even your Brian playing word swap, which is otherwise known as “aphasia”. You might write down the French word for strawberries (fraises) on your grocery list, or use the name Brian for the word brain. I was unable to say my husband’s name out loud during the aura phase one time. It literally kept slipping away like the computer code in my brain kept deleting it each time I tried to rewrite the word. I’ve written out “roast beef” on a grocery list before as “bf fffff”. If that isn’t the computer color code for a burgundy brown hue, I vote that it should be. I could write a guidebook. Migraines with Aura: Your Brian’s Autocorrect.
I wish there were an easy way to parent while experiencing this shit. If I can’t get help during the pain phase, I have to plug my ears to keep my toddler’s happy and sad shrieks from making me want to claw my own skin off. I have to wear the wrap over sunglasses. I usually take a crap ton of Excedrin while eating my favorite comfort foods to get that sweet dopamine hit and wait for the inevitable moment when I yelp out, “Mommy has to potty! Here’s your ipad.”
Dumping my kid in front of his computer tablet is our saving grace during these painful stages. Guess who brought home a newly spiderwebbed computer? My 5 year old. I specifically told his grandpa that he could not carry it, as he kept dropping it and would break it. I told him before he drove off that LO kept dropping it. Did they listen to me? I’m just a helicopter mom who over prepares and overpacks. So of course not! So it was an unfortunate accident when the 5 year old, hugging his computer tightly against his chest as they walked out to the car, tripped on the wet pavement and smashed his beloved device. What a horrible accident that absolutely could not be avoided. 🙄
I may be extremely selfish but I use the kids’ device time to get some time to breathe. To bleach the sink. To fold laundry. To walk out of the room without someone throwing a tantrum because mommy left. We set limits with screen time, but lean on these things a lot. What are we going to do now??
We’re trying to save money during Covid times. How are we supposed to do that when the tablets keep breaking, we have to keep an after school nanny on staff because of my intermittent yet chronic health issues, and when the roof starts leaking.
Oh wait... the roof leaked and stained the ceiling months ago. Did we deal with it? Meh. Not really. Well, when you live in a hot and humid and hurricane-prone state, you should expect tons of rain. We get rain on the daily, and hadn’t had any more problems. Maybe the leaks were a one off? Out of sight, out of mind. Well, this week, it monsooned, and now we see all of the fun places water wanted to visit. My house is not a timeshare for leaks! I do not have the capacity in my degraded brain to deal with this on-again, off-again shit. This is another steaming pile to add to the mix. 2020 is a popcorn kernel stuck in the gums and I am running out of dental floss.
I am trying, Bromos, to floss this tooth and get going, but putting on a bra and fixing my hair is hard enough today. I don’t have the energy to make phone calls and keep the Karen out of my voice when I call roofers for quotes and schedule inspections. The sound of my own voice hurts and keeping the house organized and bearing the mental load today is almost too much.
Putting my lions mane of somewhat washed (I attempted it last night) and slept-on hair into a scrunchie made me want to vomit. Nothing feels quite like getting your previously fabulous, bleached blonde, now-crunchy hair stuck in a SalonPas patch. On days like this, I wish I had the cajones to shave my head and invest in wigs. My natural hair never does what I want it to anyway. It sounds like a good idea. But, I live in a hot and humid place, and I can’t imagine jumping in a pool, coming up from my impromptu cannonball, only to see the shocked and scared faces of my children gawking a dirty blond hair clump floating in the tidal waves like a drowned rat. I would have to invest a “pool wig” and I guess wig glue, and that seems like a lot of work.
Everything today is a lot of work. Too much work. I need to replace the 3 pain patches on my neck that, during my tossing and turning throughout the night, have rolled up and now look like little beige, shoulder pad joints, and smell vaguely of mint.
Adding insult to injury, I finally started drifting off after 3rd doses of pain medications, sensory deprivation, food dopamine hits, and asmr, when the lady curse is activated, and my world is directed by Wes Craven. It’s just an obnoxious insult from the universe to have to deal with this, TOO. Today, I’m so done. Please stahp. Just stop.
Positive Patty cowering in the corner of my brain pipes up and says, “at least you’re not pregnant!”
She’s right, and hyperemesis gravidarum is no longer welcome in my house, but this week’s scales have been tipped in the negative and The Nothing is eating away at all of my positive instincts. Positive Patty needs to shut the hell up and let these fires burn for hot minute if she knows what is good for her. She can come over another day.
Usually when I am coming out of a migraine, I feel a sort of mania, or enthusiastic drive to make up for lost time. That energy propels me through the headache hangover, the soreness and fatigue, and the loss of time motivates me to keep going. I clean like crazy, I activate Super Mom Mode, and start A Project. Where is that mania today? It’s weird, and not really welcome, but it’s damn useful. Normally I think it’s bizarre and part of me gives the mania side eye. The mania isn’t like Positive Patty. It’s aggressive and insistent. It won’t let me stop and recover back into health in the post-migraine state like I probably need. When the pain phase is gone, the migraine mania bursts in and climbs on top of the pool table in a backwards kangol hat à la Date Mike. And when the night or next day is over, I am almost back to normal. As normal as one can be when you are an puking positive extrovert with a migraine brain and anxiety, depression, and ptsd from HG.
Compared to the hurricanes that so many of you are going through this year, my week is barely a tropical depression, so I feel guilty using this forum to complain about this. I hate to use up any emotional bandwidth if it’s needed elsewhere, but I feel like I can’t even board the struggle bus today. I almost welcome a weird emotional upheaval to kickstart the bounce back process. Where’s Date Mike? I kind of need that mania to get me out of this.
Bromos, I need to pop the scrunchy in my hair and get going. If you have “big girl panty” tips, I’d love to hear them. If you can commiserate or one-up me, that helps too. (Joking!) I used a spoon to complain, but in a way, posting this out kind of gave me one, too?
(EDIT 1 because words.)
Thanks for letting me blow this hot air at y’all.
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2020.09.20 03:22 JagdKitty TEARS OF A VAMP Chapters One And Two

(((((Just an idea for a new book so I thought I'd get feed back on how the beginning might be improved and if you think you want more...)))))
Chapter One
It was a dark and stormy night... Sorry, I know it's pretty cheesy but I've always wanted to begin a story like that. Over the years I've written many stories. Some for fun, others for money or fame. Sometimes for all three. But never have I written my story. So as cheesy as it may be, my opening is perfectly correct. It was a dark and stormy night that my story begins...
Early 21st Century... Lexington, Kentucky
My supper was finished. I was nursing my cola, wondering if I should just make a run for my house. Rain poured down and lightning flashed outside the large panes of glass which formed the entire wall between the wet outside and the cozy inside of the small, family friendly restaurant. A late evening thunderstorm wasn't unexpected in August. The heat and humidity would build throughout the day. Thunder clouds would build higher and higher in the sky and then all hell would let loose as the temperature dropped with the setting sun.
No one was waiting for my table so I didn't feel guilty keeping the table to myself. It wasn't like I was denying my waitress another customer and tip. Many tables were occupied but some were still open for new customers. But a new customer hadn't walked in since the rain had started. Between the heavy cloud cover and the lateness of the hour, it was pitch black outside. Strobes of lightning would light the street as bright as day before darkness reclaimed the streets. The last of my cola slurped up my straw and I was just reaching for my wallet when she appeared.
My first sight of Tiffany was as a form under the streetlight on the corner as she dashed across the street for the door of the restaurant. Splashing in the puddles she was as wet as any woman could be and looked as mad as any cat tossed into a pool. My cousin had done that once with the family cat. Tiffany looked just as mad as that cat had looked after dragging her wet fur out of that pool, only without the hissing and barred teeth.
She shook herself like a cat, too, as she stood in the entrance. That took my mind off the family cat since her t-shirt was plastered to a very nice, very wet chest sans bra. Sizing up the place, she walked to the table next to mine and plopped herself in a chair. Grabbing a wad of napkins, she began wiping her pretty face. The contrast between her pale skin and bright blue eyes to her jet black, shoulder length hair was striking.
"Look all you want, you perv." The sarcastic tone brought me hastily back from my appreciation of her striking... Umm, beauty. I hastily raised my gaze to her face.
"Ahh, sorry..." I began but she cut me off with a hand wave. She shrugged and her voice had less sarcasm and much more humor as she cut me some slack. "I don't care. My boobs have been seen before. By a lot more people at once than are in here. I hit Mardi Gras every year I can. I get lots of beads," She said with a smile. Picking at the wet material of her shirt she pulled it away from her skin and let it drop. It went back to outlining every curve she had including two, very hard nipples.
She shrugged again in resignation, "At least I'm wearing a shirt." Grabbing another handful of napkins she wiped at her arms and hands again. Moving quickly, she invited herself to my table and sat across from me. "Sorry to drop in unannounced. I usually have better manners but that damned rain! I'm Tiffany," she said, thrusting a still slightly damp hand across the table.
"I'm Daniel," I completed the intro and shook her hand. "Ahh, would you like something to eat," I asked as my waitress approached.
"I could do with a bite. But not here. I was just headed for the club down the street when this," Tiffany waved a disgusted hand at the rain, "appeared out'a nowhere." Tiffany gave me an appraising look, "I've got a pretty good idea of what I want to eat later."
"I didn't know they served food at the club."
Tiffany laughed at nothing I could see. Since Darlene was at the table anyway, I paid for my food and added a good tip. I ate here often and knew all the wait staff.
Tiffany sighed and picked at her wet shirt again. "Screw it. No clubbing for me tonight. The apartment I stayed at today doesn't have a clothes dryer."
"My house is just down the street and I have a clothes dryer. I'm really not a perv," I hastily added. "I'm just offering dry clothes. I've got a robe you can wear while your clothes dry. I just don't want to go home and think about you sitting here cold and wet and maybe getting sick or something without at least offering."
"Why, aren't you the Southern gentleman. I'd like that if you won't mind a house guest for a few hours. Wet clothes just suck."
My house was only a block and a half away but it was raining so hard my clothes were as soaked as Tiffany's by the time we ran up my driveway to the side door leading to the garage and laundry room. There were towels in the dryer that I hadn't folded yet. We used them to towel off our faces and arms. I told Tiffany to wait and I'd get her a robe.
"Fuck that," Tiffany said taking hold of the hem of her shirt and stripping it over her head. Tossing it into the dryer she grinned, "Don't look so shocked. I've already given you a wet t-shirt show." She toed off her sneakers and while I stood there her jeans, socks and finally her panties went into the dryer. "Your turn."
I was in shock. It had been a while since I'd seen a naked woman. I'm not gay, I just haven't had much time to date while in grad school. Women taking their clothes off in front of me was unusual. Women as beautiful as Tiffany taking her clothes off in front of me was incredibly rare. As in never before. In bare feet she was maybe 5'9". Breasts just on the large size for her slender frame. Perfect hourglass figure. Her skin was pale without bikini lines. "Hey! Your turn. Get those wet clothes off. I don't want you to get sick either."
I hesitated. I wasn't in nearly as good a shape as Tiffany. I've been 40 to 50 pounds past my recommended weight for my height of 5'10" since high school. I almost always wear a t-shirt at a pool and not because I sunburn. Tiffany finally gave up on my moving and began unbuttoning my shirt. I came out of my daze enough to begin helping and soon she was stripping my briefs off. I had the expected anatomical response any heterosexual male would have in the presence of a beautiful, naked woman. It was impossible to hide since it was at eye level to Tiffany as she knelt to strip my briefs down far enough for me to step out of.
Tossing my clothes into the dryer she turned the dial and started the dry cycle. Taking the initiative again, Tiffany wrapped her arms around me and went up on her toes for a kiss. She began pushing me towards the door that led into the house.
"Wait. Wait, wait... The clothes need a fabric softener sheet," I managed to break lip contact long enough to gasp out.
"You gotta be kidding me, right?" Tiffany's eyes were wide and though her body was still pressed to mine she drew back and asked in disbelief. "A naked woman is literally throwing herself against you, offering a night of wild sex and you're thinking of laundry?"
"I guess not," I said and let myself be kissed and pushed to sit on the den couch which was as far as we made it.
The rest of the night was a haze. I remember Tiffany straddling my lap and lowering herself around me while nuzzling and sucking on my neck which was extremely pleasurable. I was embarrassed as I finished almost as soon as she lowered herself completely onto me while still trying to give me a hickey. I know I hadn't had sex for a while but, damn! I should have had better control than that but her mouth on my neck felt so damned good. Just as good as what was she was doing to my groin.
Tiffany didn't seem disappointed at my lack of control. She just grinned, gave me a long, wet kiss that had a tinge of a taste that reminded me of... Something I was struggling to recall even as her hips began to move again and her mouth went back to my neck.
What happened after that was what began to blur. Tiffany's mouth left my neck and my thoughts were all a jumbled haze as she continued moving her hips slowly over my lap. In this position her breasts were moving close to my face and I pulled her close enough to capture a nipple. I was sucking hard on her breast when she suddenly gasped and pulled back to sit up straight. Her hand raised the breast I'd been sucking on so she could get a good look at the small cut, a shallow scrape really, on her skin.
"Damn it, damn it, dammit," she yelled climbing off me. Pacing the room, she stopped to look at her breast again. Raising clenched fists she yelled, "FUUUUCCCCKKKKKK!!!"
My head swam when I tried to stand up to try and calm her down. I couldn’t seem to make my legs and arms work together and sat back down with a whoomph onto the couch. It was just a tiny, barely red scratch. I couldn't understand why my speech was slurred, I'd only had a soft drink with my meal, as I tried to explain. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I chipped a tooth last week on a walnut shell and I guess it cut you. It's not that much real..."
Tiffany interrupted me to yell, "You don't understand, you idiot! I've already fed from you. Once your blood mixes with mine, if you take even a little back you're gonna Turn! Fuck this shit," she muttered and began to pace again. Stopping in mid-stride, she seemed to have made up her mind about something. "This is your house, right? No one else lives here," she asked. "No relatives dropping by?"
"Yea, I live here alone. My relatives live in Eastern Kentucky. They never drop by without calling. What do you mean by Turn? Look, I'm sorry my tooth cut you but..."
"Just shut up. Just shut the fuck up. Don't make this harder for me."
"Make what harder?" Man, I was really woozy. I was having trouble just sitting up straight.
"I have to kill you, you big, stupid human," Tiffany yelled. With a jump that covered an impossible distance, she landed on me and drove me back into the couch cushions. This time when her mouth went to my neck there was nothing sensual about it. It hurt like hell when she bite down and then all the pain vanished in a wash of euphoria. I was twice her body weight yet I couldn't break the hold of her arms and legs around me to push her away. I felt my skin tear and, God help me, I came against her stomach and mine as the pleasure I was feeling doubled and then doubled again. Still she bit deeper. I heard a sucking sound under my ear and then I heard and felt nothing at all.
Chapter II
My next memories are all a jumble. I would swim up from a deep sleep when Tiffany came near. She'd whimper as she'd open her own wrist with her teeth. The smell of blood would rouse me more and I'd drink as much as I could of her thick, rich blood for as long as she offered her wrist. "I'll have more for you soon," she'd whisper as I'd fall back into my dreamless sleep.
I had no idea how many times this scene was repeated until one time her wrist wasn't enough. I wanted more and her amazing strength was no match for mine as I pulled her down and bit hard on her neck. Her cry wasn't one of pain, however. The harder I bit the more her cries sounded like the cries of a woman having an orgasm.
I drained Tiffany of every drop of blood I could coax from the tear in her throat before pushing her away. She dropped, drained of blood and strength to the floor beside the bed. Hearing her moans of orgasm, I went back to my dreamless sleep. There was one feeding I remember more than any other. I have no memory of when it occurred in my schedule of feedings but Tiffany smelled differently that time. More alive. Every mouthful from her wrist was intoxicating. When the flow from her wrist began to slow it was her who offered me her neck. When I bit her cries were again of pleasure. Orgasmic cries as the smell of her sex filled the room. She didn't try to pull away no matter how much pain I had to be causing her until the flow from her torn throat ceased.
Her blood will make you strong, I heard as I drifted back to sleep. I think I dreamed. ***************************
"How bad is it," I asked Carla Bannon, the detective who'd gotten the call.
"Female, late sixties," Carla began giving me a concise review of what she'd discovered so far. "Ida Knowles from her ID we found in a purse stuffed under the driver's seat. Put in the trunk perhaps two days ago. She hasn't been reported as missing. Found four hours ago by the supermarket manager. He says the car has been sitting here for two days. Said he was going to look for ID so he could call the owner before he had the car towed.
"Two days in this heat? When he got a whiff of what was in the trunk he called us. Uniforms came, popped the trunk and called it in. I got the call about two hours ago. I got here a little after the call. Crime techs after me." Carla lowered her voice and added, "Lieutenant, her throat was torn out."
"Dogs?"
"God, I wish! But," Carla looked around to be sure no one was within hearing. My former partner was always careful not to seem too chummy in front of others since my promotion. "Of course we'll have to wait for the coroner's official report but, Ben, the crime scene tech swears it wasn't dogs. Her throat wasn't cut with anything sharp either. Says there's no teeth marks or cuts. He says it's like someone just yanked her throat out. Tore out a large chunk of flesh. And that chunk ain't here.
"I told him to keep his mouth shut to everyone but me and called you as soon as I could." Detective Bannon looked around again to be sure we were out of earshot. "Ben, this could be a real mess if that tech is right. No one wants a psycho running around who rips out throats."
"The tech any good?"
"Twelve years on the job. I've worked with him before. Hell, we've both worked with him when we were partners before you took the promotion. He's very good. I wouldn't have called you out on a Sunday if he was a rookie."
"Lieutenant Haskell? Detective? Got something you need to know," a tech called out and walked towards us. I remembered working with him. He was good. Good enough and experienced enough to know he stank of death and to stand downwind. "Two things, really. First, there's no blood in the body or in the trunk. There's barely enough blood left in the body for it to pool and form post mortem bruising. I can't find the blood! Only a few drops on the floor of the trunk. There's been no rain in the last few days to wash away blood from the asphalt. There's a few small drops on the asphalt from the driver's door to the trunk. She either wasn't killed here or someone held a bucket for her to bleed into."
"I'll get a couple of uniforms to start canvasing the grassy areas in the back of the store to make sure we didn't miss a blood pool under the tall grass," Carla said and left.
The tech reached into his overalls and pulled out a sheet of paper and an evidence bag. "Second, her address from her ID and her keys from the floor of the car. Keys are clean. No blood. I've already dusted and there's no usable prints. Her house is only a couple of blocks away. If you can't find her blood there I don't know where the hell it is."
I took the paper and signed taking possession of the evidence bag containing the keys. "Carla, you keep working here. I'll take a uniform and check out the house," I called out and got a thumbs up in acknowledgment.
The uniform followed me and we parked on the street. There was a Chevy Nova parked on the street in front of the address. The front door was open, screen door closed. It was a small sized, two story on a street where old oaks shaded the street and lawns and all the houses had a tired, long lived in air. Stepping onto the porch I could hear someone inside. Through the screen I could see a living room/den and part of a kitchen and hallway. The screen door made a small sound when I tested if it was unlocked.
"Grams? Is that you? Where have you been? You haven't even started our dinner."
"Police, ma'am." A young woman came into view walking towards me from the kitchen. Caucasian, early twenties, 5' 4", slender build, pretty in a girl-next-door way. Shoulder length red hair and gray eyes. "Miss, do you know a Ida Knowles?"
"Yes, she's my grandmother. Oh, God. Grams... Is she Ok?"
This was the part of the job I hated most. "May we come in, Miss..."
"Olivia Knowles."
She cried of course. But then wanted to know the how. "Please. I have to call my mom and family. They all live in Tennessee. I need to know something to tell them."
I tried to give the bare minimum of details but she had a way of asking questions that drew more information from me than I'd meant to give. For some reason my gut was sending me a warning that something was strange here. Over the years I've come to trust my gut. "You haven't tried to contact your grandmother in the last two days?"
A shake of her head. "I have an apartment out Winchester Road and a job. We don't always call each other every day. Every Sunday we try to... I mean we used to, have dinner. Go over our week. Make any plans we might have for the week coming up. That kind'a thing. When I came over today the front door was open and her car was gone. I just thought she'd gone to the store for a few things."
"So you haven't looked around the house?"
"No. Just used the bathroom and started chopping some vegetables in the kitchen while I waited. Why?"
"It's possible whoever killed your grandmother did it somewhere else and then drove her car to the parking lot. Would you mind if we looked around the house and backyard?"
Ms. Knowles invited us to look anywhere we wanted. The uniform looked over the backyard and the small garage while I looked in every room and the basement. No signs of a struggle or blood. Everything was neat and clean as if the owner had stepped out for a short trip to the supermarket. Which I was guessing she had. Leaving my card with instruction to call if Ms. Knowles thought of anything or saw anything out of the normal, we left. I left with a feeling that something just wasn't right.
Out on the sidewalk I asked Officer Westbrook what he thought. Westbrook shrugged and then spoke aloud my thoughts. "I don't know, Lieutenant, but damn! If someone just told me my grandmother had been killed by having her throat ripped out, I think I'd be having hysterics. But she... She just got calmer."
I nodded. That had been my observation, too. Something about that young lady set my teeth on edge. I drove back to the crime scene to let Carla know what I'd found. I also wanted Carla to look more closely into Olivia Knowles.
****************************
A witch's hearing isn't as good as an elf's, but I could hear them talking on the sidewalk. They were both wrong. I wasn't calm. Not by any stretch of the imagination was I calm. I was in a murderous rage.
Vampire! A fucking vampire! There was absolutely no doubt in my mind who, or rather what, had killed my Grams. I had phone calls to make but first I had to carry out Gram's instructions. She'd drilled her instructions into me every day when I'd first moved in with her five years ago. If something happens the first thing you do is make sure the house is safe!
I waited until the police cars disappeared from view before going to the basement. Tripping the concealed latch that my grandfather had installed sixty years ago, a small section of shelves that lined one wall popped open an inch. I pushed the door all the way open. No one but me and Grams even knew that her half-basement had once been a full basement.
Gesturing at the candles scattered about the room I lit them with a cantrip before stripping off all my clothes and shoes. No metals of any kind except gold, silver or platinum were to enter the next room. Ever! Not even the tiny amount in my underwire bra. Since I was alone I didn't bother with a robe. A steep wooden staircase led to another concrete floor six feet lower than the one that policeman had just searched. All the furniture here -staircase, chairs, tables and bookcases- were made using wooden dowels instead of metal nails. Grandad had been a master craftsman when it came to working in wood since the 18th Century.
Striding to the center of the circle etched into the concrete floor, I Reached and found all the house protection spells that were powered from the circle. The circle was 20 feet in diameter and cut three inches into the concrete of the floor. Poured gold filled that circle. Gold was a perfect superconductor for Vim. Silver and platinum could be used but over time Vim would leech away. A gold Power Circle would hold Vim indefinitely. The larger the circle, the more Vim. This was one of the largest circles in North America.
By instinct I Reached out to the small Ley Line that Lexington was on top of and siphoned Vim into the circle. In a few seconds I could leech enough Vim into the Power Circle to keep all the spells powered by the circle maintained for months.
Reaching out again, I found the spells tuned to the circle and made then mine. As soon as they came under my control, a softly glowing, golden hemisphere appeared around me. Twenty feet in diameter, it filled the room, almost touching the ceiling and walls. Any metal other than gold inside this sphere might cause a feedback of the Vim held in the circle of gold. Think of the CERN supercollider going nuclear. Yea, that's the reason no metals were allowed in here. Grams had told me of the trouble Grandad had digging up the entire basement trying to find one lousy horseshoe nail when he'd been making this witch room.
Grams had made me practice what to do many times and it was easy to Key the spells to me. If I ever wanted to pass this Power Circle on, I'd have to teach the Key to another. The protection spells on the house wouldn't turn away door-to-door salesmen but Supernaturals would be stopped and if a Supe did try to enter this house, I'd know it no matter where I was.
The last thing I did before leaving the workshop was to take two books from Grams' library. The first book was very small and contained a short list of the members of Gram's coven. They needed to be called and warned that a vampire was in the area. The second book contained everything Grams had learned about vampires. For the last century Grams had collected stories and knowledge on every topic in every witch's tome she could get her hands on. Lined up on the shelves in front of me was probably the best collection of magical knowledge in North America.
I knew that in the first book on the shelf was a learned discussion on whether Aardvark gall bladders were necessary for potions which caused nightmares. I'm not sure? But knowing I'd just swallowed ground up Aardvark gallbladders? That would sure as hell give me nightmares.
I still had a phone call I couldn't put off any longer. It was as hard to tell my mom as I'd thought. She promised to drive up the next day to help with the funeral arrangements.
I remembered to get the bottle of bourbon I'd hidden in the attic four years ago and my smokes before sitting down. Grams had always made me go out on the porch to smoke. I knew what was in Gram's will. This house was mine now and with my first cigarette I began to make it smell like mine. With darkness falling I was finally able to open the book to begin my education.
There was a vamp in town that needed killing.
submitted by JagdKitty to stories [link] [comments]


2020.09.14 19:38 Ronisoni14 My GF is really mad at me and idk what to do :<

I need advise and tips, so please, read this and advise me, what should i do?
We've been dating for 8 months now and our relationship was the most wholesome and beautiful thing ever. We always had that thing we often did when I would rest my head on her lap. But last Thursday, when me, her, and some of our friends met, I made a huge mistake and layed my head on her lap while she was wearing a strapless dress. She says her dress fell a little and everyone saw her bra. I didn't see anything like this happening but she said I just wasn't looking. I don't wear dresses and I had no idea that strapless dresses fall that easily (although, thinking about it, it kinda makes sense). The day continues, everything was looking OK, and eventually we had to finish that meeting and go to our homes.
The day after, when she discovered that she wasn't accepted into something at school she wanted, I sent her a text to cheer her up and suddenly she attacked me for what happened the day before, which really caught me off guard. She was SUPER mad, and I asked her why didn't she tell me to stop when I layed my head on her lap, and that I would respect that. But then she said she did tell me. I realized that I probably didn't hear her. I suspect it's related to my ADHD. My mom didn't let me take my pills that day, and when I'm without them I can't consentrate at anything. She probably told me not to rest my head on her and I wasn't consentrated and didn't hear her.
I tried to not talk to her for some time, hoping things will calm down. A few days later i sent her a big text apologizing for everything. She didn't even bother reading it, and when i told her it's important anf asked her to read it, she just angrily told me to stop and said that what i did counts as sexual harrashment. I told her that it was a mistake and that making her dress fall was totally not my intent, she just said "yes it was". I haven't managed to talk to her again and haven't even tried to, because I don't know if i should. I love her with my heart and soul and would do everything to make sure our relationship doesn't fall apart because of this 1 innocent mistake.
I don't know what to do. Any advise or tips are more than welcome. Please, I need any help I can get right now :(
submitted by Ronisoni14 to feemagers [link] [comments]


2020.09.13 09:08 Vivid_Macaroon9562 My friend (F) and I (F) visited some friends and she called me a week later to tell me that I made her feel uncomfortable

My friend (F) and I (F) went to visit some friends from university and slept over at a friend's (M) apartment because we had been drinking. It's important to note that she really likes him in a romantic way (I don't think it's reciprocated) and many times in the past, has asked me if I have a crush on him. I don't, he's like a little brother to me, and I reassure her of this every time.
That night everyone seemed to have fun, and I may have had a little too much tequila, not to the point that I was sloppy or had to be taken care of but just a little wobbly. Because of that, I was leaning a bit on our friend's (M) shoulder at times because I was getting tired and didn't want to fall over (Imp for later). At the start of the night, his plan for sleeping was that he was going to take the couch and let us sleep in his bed. But by 2 am, we were all lying on the bed lengthwise (F, Me, M) to give each other space since its a double bed. I was wearing a wrap-around top tied really tight around my ribcage, so I wanted to unwrap it but still leave my top on, the front would just be open. I didn't really think it would be an issue as in the past, every time we've gone out clubbing or to parties and I have worn a bralette or some sort of lingerie type of top, the point is is that they have seen me in more revealing outfits. Anyways, just to be sure no one would be uncomfortable, I asked them both if it would be okay if I unwrapped it. They both said it was fine, so I didn't think twice about it.

About a week later, I called her because we hadn't talked in a while and something embarrassing happened to me that I thought was funny, so I wanted to share it with her. She then brought up that night and explained that she was upset that she didn't get as drunk as us and asked again if I liked our friend. I told her no and that I see him as a brother, but she then said that she thought I was flirting with him because I was leaning on him. I again told her no, and I was leaning on him because I didn't want to fall over. She went on to say that I made her feel really uncomfortable because I was sleeping in a bra. She said she was so uncomfortable that she couldn't fall asleep that night, especially since our friend and I apparently almost spooned. HOW DO YOU ALMOST SPOON IN YOUR SLEEP!???!?!?!? Isn't that literally just facing the same wall while dead asleep like, with no contact, so wouldn't that just be called sleeping.

I told her that I was sorry she felt uncomfortable (not sorry that I was sleeping in a bra) and that next time to wake me up and tell me to put something else on because I don't want her to feel that way. The next couple of things is what made me more upset than anything else. Every time she talked about it she exaggerated the situation and made it seem like I was sleeping in just a bra and that I never asked her if she would be okay with it. However, my top was still on and I had a blanket only on me that was covering everything, and I did ask her if she would be comfortable with it.
She said that she felt uncomfortable because she likes our friend and felt that if it were some random girl sleeping in the middle of the two of them (i.e. instead of me), she would felt better about it, which makes no sense to me. Then she said she called our friend the day before I called her and told him that she liked him (like past tense, even tho she still does) and that me sleeping with my top open made her uncomfortable. She then made it seem like he was also uncomfortable with it, so after our call, I called him to apologize, and he said that he wasn't.

She then went on to ask me if I have been sneaking around behind her back with him because that's what she thinks is happening. At the time, I literally couldn't think of anything else to say other than deny it because the concept of that happening is crazy to me. I tried to reassure her by saying, like why would I help him with his tinder and other dating websites if I liked him or was dating him behind her back. Overall, this isn't the first time shes made me feel bad, question our relationship or allowed her insecurities to control her, affecting her relationships with others. Although reading it back, it doesn't seem that bad, this incident was the tipping point for me, and I'm pretty sure I don't want to be friends with her anymore. I just don't know if I should call and tell her how I feel and that I don't really want to be friends anymore or just start distancing myself from her. I feel like either way. It's a lose-lose situation for me because if I talk to her, I don't think she will really listen or believe what I am saying. On the other hand, if I distance myself, she might grow the idea in her head that our guy friend and I are actually sneaking around and make the situation worse. Honestly, I am leaning towards the latter because I don't really see a point in talking to her about this when I have talked to her in the past about similar situations.

Anyways, sorry for the long post!

TL;DR - Friend (F) told me that I made her uncomfortable because all three of us slept in the same bed together (F, Me, M) while the front of my shirt was open (I asked both of them if it was okay and they said yes) and that she thought I was flirting with our guy friend by leaning on him when I was drunk. I told her I was sorry she felt uncomfortable, and then she asked if we were sneaking behind her back because our friend and I almost spooned in our sleep. I am annoyed now and don't know what to do.
submitted by Vivid_Macaroon9562 to FriendshipAdvice [link] [comments]


2020.09.02 06:01 jujul33 There’s something to be said about a man who asks permission

I (33f) have been dating him (33) at a slow pace for the past couple of months. There have been some big gaps (2+weeks) between us seeing each other because of either of us going out of town, so things have moved a little slowly. We have made out plenty of times, but he never touched, or even tried to touch my butt or boobs. The first time a makeout session got a little heated a few weeks ago, he asked if he could take off my shirt. I said “sure” in an ‘eh, whatever’ kind of way, and he followed with “sure?” to get explicit permission. This time, I said “yes”. He started tugging at my bra and asked “is this okay?” “Yes”. (That’s as far as it went that night)
He has been so incredibly respectful of my body and boundaries, making me feel zero pressure to move faster than I’m ready to.
A week ago, I decided I’m ready to sleep with him, and last night, we did. As things progressed from making out, it was pretty obvious what was going to happen, but even still, he asked me “can I take off your dress?” And then asked if he could take off my underwear, and finally, before anything started, he asked “are you okay with this?”
Men, I can’t tell you how much this meant to me!! I have so much respect for him and am that much more attracted to him because he made it clear that he respects my boundaries and comfort level. Just wanted to offer this experience as a tip for how to help a new lady feel respected and safe with you when it comes to taking things to the next level.
submitted by jujul33 to datingoverthirty [link] [comments]


2020.08.29 00:12 Talesoffantasy A Discovery At The Club - Part 1 [Fiction] [FM] [Bi] [Coerced]

[FMM] i messed up the title part sorry 😘
This is a fictional story, about a chance encounter, its a nice burner, and heats up throughout. I hope you enjoy it, with it being my first story i would really appreciate some feedback. Thank you, Enjoy.
I had seen her before, at the bar, ordering a drink, flirting with the bar tender, she looked beautiful under the orange and yellow lighting of the club, even with the dishevelled look she was sporting. Her hair was blonde with streaks of her dark roots showing through, her make up, I could tell, at the beginning of the night had been perfect, but since then had been retouched, her lips were vibrant red and her eyes dark with eyeliner, it was hard to tell how tall she actually was, but in the heels she was wearing she matched my height of 5ft 10, her short black dress clinged tightly to her hips and peachy ass, flowing up towards her perky tits, her nipples poking through to betray any secret of her not wearing a bra. She was a beauty, but she gave off a vibe of danger, unpredictability.
"You got a problem fucker?" The voice was feminine and sultry, but powerful!
Oh shit I thought as my heart skipped a beat, she had caught me staring, who knows for how long! We had been standing in the queues for the toilet for what felt like an eternity.
"N, no problem, what do you mean?" I stuttered back, trying my best to feign ignorance about what she was asking
"Really? N, no problem huh?" She mocked "Then how come your staring at me like a creep, undressing me with your eyes, you perv!" It wasn’t a question, she was making a statement, she knew I was looking her up and down, and she wanted me to know that she knew.
"Listen, I’m sorry, I’ve been standing here waiting for so long, my mind must have wandered" I tried to wriggle free of the embarrassment and potentially volatile situation.
"No, no I’m pretty certain you were staring right at me, checking me out" she danced with her hips a little as she smirked "Its ok, I’m used to it, I dress to impress, listen this queue is taking too long and I’m gunna pee myself before I get in there, I know a better option, follow me" and with that her eyes glinted and her hand grabbed my wrist and pulled me across the dancefloor "I used to date the owner, there’s another toilet in here" she said as she pushed through what looked like the wall but was actually a door of the same colour.
The door flew open and bathed us both in a white light. I was in a state of shock, 'who is this woman, where is she taking me and why am I just blindly following her' I thought. The music was muffled and the vibrant energy of the club was replaced by a glimpse behind the scenes as we stepped into a hallway and the door closed behind us. The corridor was empty but for a few doors and some fire extinguishers, the air heavy with the smell of alcohol.
"Come on, quickly, YOU don't wanna get caught back here" she smirked as she spoke, her perfect teeth shining in the fluorescent light of the hallway outlined in deep red.
She pulled me towards a door, the handle creaked as the door flew open into a small, old looking bathroom, it smelled of pine and every surface looked pristine. The white tiles of the floor and walls gleamed.
snap snap her fingers clicked Without speaking she pointed me towards a porcelain urinal protruding from the wall, as she half stumbled into the grey cubicle next to it.
"So what’s your name anyway?" I asked while unzipping my jeans and pulling out my penis
"Zoe, not that its any of your business perv" she giggled as she said it, but it was a loaded giggle
"I wasn't perving, you're hard to miss, you catch the eye I guess" I tried to play it smooth, I mean, who knows, she chose to drag me here.
"Oh yeah? You flirting with me uhhh... what’s your name again?" She asked me, I could tell in her tone she was smirking
"Paul, and I’m not flirting" I sheepishly said embarrassed. I shook myself off and zipped up my jeans.
She said nothing back, I looked at the cubicle, there was no sound other than the clicking of a lighter that wouldn't ignite, "listen, I’m gunna head back, like you said, I don’t wanna be caught back here" I said, worried Zoe had made herself comfortable and not wanting to be caught.
"So you're just gunna perv on me, follow me to a secluded spot, flirt with me, and then leave?" She sounded disappointed, "and to think tonight coulda been your lucky night" she almost whispered, her words trailing off at the end
I almost couldn’t contain my excitement as I asked her what she had said
"Bye Paul!" She rasped back at me, the sweet scent of weed climbing over the cubicle wall and filling the bathroom
I hesitated, I wanted to say something back, to protest and tell her I was staying, but I had a bad feeling about this and I didn't want to be caught where I shouldn't be with someone I didn't know.
I turned and grabbed at the door handle, it wouldn't open, it just creaked as it turned. I looked for a lock, but there wasn't one, just the handle. I tried it again a couple more times.
"Shit" I half shouted in frustration and the thought I would be banned from my favourite club once they had to come and let us out.
"What’s wrong Pauly?" Zoes words floated through the air, so placid it was hard to tell if she even really cared what was happening.
"The fucking door is stuck, were going to get caught back here!" I was angry "you got me stuck in here"
"Now now Pauly, don't get mad at me, it was YOU checking me out, YOU following me and YOU that cant open the door" her voice still calm, powerful.
"You should come and try some of this, it might loosen you up a bit" she giggled, but the invite was real. "Come on, calm down"
I tried the door once more, again the handle creaked and again the door did not budge. I turned towards the cubicle, it suddenly looked ominous, dimly lit, the light gliding across all of the tiles, but the cubicle was grey wood, the light almost didn’t touch its surface and a little glow spread across the ceiling around it, from a small light inside.
I opened the door to the cubicle and there sat on the toilet was Zoe, she looked at me with a smirk as her painted nails took her joint to her matching lips. She took a long drag and then slowly took it away from her mouth.
"Here, take this" her voice was sultry but commanding, and smoke poured from her plump lips as she held the joint out towards me.
I took the joint from her finger tips and raised it to my lips until they met the lipstick stained roach. I inhaled a long deep drag, and only just managed to breathe the smoke back out without coughing.
It hit me immediately, I smoke weed regularly, the quality isn’t great where I live and so the feeling is mild, but this was good, really good.
I passed the joint back to Zoe, her dark eyes fixated on mine and her hint of a smile full of intent. Then she sat back and began smoking again, blowing clouds of white fog upwards towards the ceiling.
I looked down at her as I stood with my back to the cubicle door, I could see her better in this light, sitting still. She looked about the same age as me, mid 20's, her skin looked soft and tanned, her strapless dress clinged to her pert tits, her nipples fighting to break free, matching my growing erection.
"Seriously, again?" "You can't help yourself can you?" She snapped at me, half joking. "You like what you see right?" She said smiling at me, moving her free hand down over her chest, to the neckline of her dress.
She slowly pulled her dress down, her perky tits spilled out and her perfect nipples finally free. "Well, you like what you see, right?" She repeated
"Y, ye, yeah I like what I see, um, yeah" I stammered, overcome with nerves, as she moved her fingers to her mouth and then to her left nipple.
"Good, get down on your knees" Zoe looked up at me, while she played with her nipple and stubbed out the joint against the cubicle wall.
Nervously I did as she said, my pants fighting my erection. 'My lucky day' I thought as I lowered to the ground, so pleased with myself.
I was eye level with her now, closer, her skin looked smooth and perfect, she smiled at me and leaned in. I leaned forward slightly and met her juicy red lips with mine. It was amazing and hard to explain, the kiss with her felt powerful, and expert, her tongue explored my mouth delicately but with passion, it felt almost liberating.
She pulled away from me slowly, my bottom lip still between her teeth until she let go, with a smile.
At this point i noticed her red thong touch my arm as i knelt. She had one leg free of it, so it was hanging on her thigh, draped over the top of her black stocking, I was dying to just look down slightly, to look at Zoes naked pussy.
"You wanna taste me, perv?" She grinned again at me, her teeth and lipstick contrasting each other perfectly her eyes filled with deviance.
She leaned back more, her dress moving up as she did, revealing her pussy to me. I nearly died as I looked at her perfect mound, she was shaved smooth apart from about an inch long strip of hair the width of a pencil.
"I I uh I" i couldn’t speak, I was hypnotized by her beauty, by her question
Her thighs made a smack as they snapped closed.
She laughed, not aggressively, but as if she knew she was in total control of the situation and loved it. My heart sank.
"Not so fast Pauley, what do you think huh? You think I’m that easy perv?" The question was rhetorical, "oh I’m not that easy Pauley, if you want to taste my tight young pussy, you’ll have to prove your worthy, I’m very particular, I have to know you can take instructions" she spoke to me, but did not make eye contact.
I didn’t have time to process this information or speak back. "Get down there, and kiss my shoes" she commanded, still placid. And with that she crossed one leg over the other so her red high heeled foot hung above the ground.
I was so turned on by Zoe and the circumstances that lead to this moment that I didn't even question her, I leaned further down, my elbows touching the cold tiles. I moved towards her shoe and kissed it.
"A little peck, that’s all I deserve Pauley? Kiss my shoe, show me you want to taste my sweet pussy" she purred at me
I did not answer back, I went back in for a second try, this time I pressed my lips to the tip of the shoe, it felt cold, so was the bathroom, I sucked and licked the shiny red leather, making sure to pay Zoes stocking ankle and leg some attention with my hands.
"Mmm good boy" she moaned, her free hand now massaging her crotch. "Come, kiss your way up to your prize perv" she sniggered through her moans.
My heart was beating out of my chest as my erection grew harder in my boxers, I began kissing beyond her shoe, up onto her ankles, feeling the silky sheen of her stocking on my lips as she lifted her leg onto my shoulder, revealing her red finger tips dancing with her soaking pussy. I kept kissing towards her, the back of her knee, I was getting closer to tasting her sweet juices. I reached the top of her stocking and gave it a little bite, letting it snap back against her smooth thigh. My lips radiated excitement as I reached Zoes bare skin, the warmth of her thigh almost kissing me back.
BANG BANG BANG
"FUCK!" Zoe whisper shouted as she pushed me back and pulled her dress up to cover her amazing tits.
BANG BANG BANG
Everything was happening so fast I barely had time to process what was going on. Then it hit me. That banging is the door, the door we shouldn't be behind!
"Shit" I muttered, I was about to shout out and just admit defeat and hope they didn't ban me from the club, and hopefully get Zoe back to my place instead of this cold bathroom. Zoe grabbed me, looking directly into my eyes.
"Shhhh, you don’t wanna be caught here Pauley" she whispered.
Why does she keep saying I don’t want to be caught here and not we don’t want to be caught here I wondered, but I didn’t ask, I simply replied "ok"
"I know your fucking in there Jill! They called me because they saw you on camera" The voice sounded angry. "And who the fuck is that guy your bringing back here! Yeah I know you're in there too! Open the fucking door!" BANG The door rattled after the impact.
"What the fuck, who is Jill? Do you know this guy? What are we going to do?" I panicked in a whisper making sure that whoever was on the other side of that door couldn’t hear me.
Zoe stood up, taking her thong off the other leg and holding it in her hand, she pulled down her dress and it once again gripped at her body. Even with the fear running through my veins I was in awe of her.
She pushed me to one side and shimmied past and out of the cubicle. Her heels clicked on the tile floor as she walked into the bathroom and leaned against the sink. She didn't look scared, she looked almost irritated, like this was a minor annoyance. She looked over at me and smirked as she rolled her eyes, she stood up and clicked towards the door, my knees were weak, I was sweating and scared.
I waved my arms to catch her eye and mouthed "what the fuck are you doing?"
Zoe looked back at me over her shoulder, her smile radiating power and sex appeal. She mouthed back with her luscious red lips. "Don’t worry, I’ve got this" and turned back towards the door.
CREAK The handle moved, but the door did not budge.
Zoe turned back, she giggled and shrugged her shoulders.
"Open the door Jill stop fucking around" the anger had turned to frustration, whoever was on the other side of that door was not going to be happy once it opened.
"Who is it?!" She said in a high pitch voice, laughing while she did.
"You know damn well who it is Jill, open the door" the voice was not amused
"Who’s Jill" I mouthed at Zoe.
She looked at me in my eyes and pointed her finger up in the air, then with a bit of flair, pointed back at herself. Then she smiled and shrugged her delicate shoulders again.
"Its jammed you tight bastard, I told you ages ago the door was being funny" she clapped back at him
Then she walked back past me and over to the sink, where she half sat, pulled out another joint from her black purse, and began working her lighter until it finally lit up, she pulled her leg up onto the sink to further sit back on it, exposing her stockings and shaved pussy. Its as if she had forgotten I was there at all.
"Fucking hell! I told them to fix this shit, step fucking back!" And no sooner had he finished his sentence, the door made an almighty bang, and then another, the room felt like it shook as a third impact was made. The door handle was bending and buckling and with one final hit, the door to the bathroom flew open and the light from the hallway bathed the dimly lit space.
I was terrified, I didn't even wait to see who came through the door, I dived into the cubicle and locked the door, my heart pumping blood around my body faster than ever before.
I heard footsteps come into doorway, the light that flooded in from the corridor was largely gone and the room was dim again.
"What the fuck is this Jill, its been 2 weeks, no call, no text, and you turn up here, not home, not to me, to my fucking club, with whoever that PUSSY, hiding in the cubicle is!" He said sternly
"Calm down sweetie, I didn’t turn up here with anyone, I met him here, waiting in line for the toilet, because they, like everything else in here, are broken! I asked him if he wanted to use a different bathroom" she said defiantly "although, he is a bit of a perv" she purred, as if she could feel my fear.
"What does that mean Jill? A perv...who is he? And where have you been for 2 weeks, its not normal to leave your god damned husband for 2 weeks with no explanation, I know you do some borderline crazy shit Jill, but this is a bit much even for you!" He sounded angry, confused and disappointed
'A fucking husband' I thought, 'she didn’t tell me she was married, but then she didn’t tell me her real name' my mind raced, I thought about how I could get out of this, what would her husband do when I came out of the cubicle, this must be the club owner, the one she said she had been dating, 'I am in so much shit' I thought almost out loud.
"I told you Alex, calm down, we argued, I left, I travelled a little, spent some of your money, went to a few strip clubs" she was nonchalant in her explanation, the words dripping from her mouth. "Then I found little Pauly in there, and I brought him back here, to piss, and he tried to eat my pussy, didn’t you Pauly?" Her last words echoed around the room like a cave, or it might have just been in my mind I cant be sure.
I was still, silent, I don’t even know if I was breathing. 'What the fuck Zoe, Jill, whatever your fucking name is' I thought. I said nothing.
BANG the whole cubicle rattled, the door nearly breaking its lock. I put my feet up against it to try and stop any more attempts at a break in.
"Well, is that true asshole?" He half shouted through the door.
"Listen man, I had no idea she was married, she told me her name was Zoe, she seduced me man, I’m sorry, I just want to leave" my voice almost broke with panic
I heard a laugh fill the silence, Jill, formerly Zoe, was chuckling.
"Spoil sport" I heard her say as if her game had been ruined
"Let him loose Alex, all we did was kiss and I teased him a little" I heard her reason with her husband
"You kissed him... what else did you do, define teased Jill" he asked not seeming surprised at all
"I dunno baby, showed him my tits, and made him kiss my shoes" she giggled "and let him see my pussy" her voice trailed off
I heard them whispering to each other, they seemed to be arguing back and forth but not loud enough for me to hear what they were saying, I was sweating and feeling trapped in the cubicle, waiting for one of them to say something.
"Ok ok, Jesus Jill, i’ll let him go" I was so relieved that a stupid grin rose on my lips "But" there it was, the grin was gone "I’m going to have to do something, he kissed my wife, he saw her tits and pussy, he needs to be punished for that" he explained to her
"Ok Paul, I’m going to let you go, but you have to get naked, I want you fully naked, you saw my wife’s pussy and tits, you kissed her, its only fair she sees you, and I get to send you home naked and humiliated" Alex did not sound like he was joking.
Thoughts raced through my mind, I cant just walk out of here naked, I cant walk out into the streets naked, is the club still open? What the fuck am I going to do.
"Come on Pauley, he wont offer again, and you did try to fuck his wife" this time it was Jill who said her piece, which was rich coming from her since she is the one that instigated this whole situation.
'Fuck, I’m going to do it, I mean I could try to fight my way out, but Alex sounded so strong when he hit the cubicle and when he broke through the door, this is the only way I can leave in relative peace' I convinced myself, this was the only way, I stood up and took off my shirt, then my jeans and shoes and socks, I was now stood in my boxers, and I hoped this would be enough.
"Ok, I’m coming out" I said, embarrassment hanging on every word.
"Yay" I heard Jill say mockingly behind the door followed by 3 little claps
I reached up and unlocked the door, as it opened I noticed the door was shut and a single beam of light came in through the hole where the handle had broken off. I looked over to the sink where Jill was sitting, but now stood next to her was Alex. He was tall, 6ft 2 at least, well built but a bit of a pretty boy. He was tanned like Jill, clean shaven and dressed smart, he looked like a business owner and oozed power.
"Let me ask you something Paul" he groaned at me "do you know what the word naked means" his face completely straight
I attempted to speak, to explain and plead him to let me keep the boxers.
"No, no, you know the deal" he interrupted, “I let you go unharmed, after messing around with my wife, but, you go naked, and that, means naked" he paused "now"
The battle was lost and I knew it, I had one chance to get out of here and home, in that moment I made my decision. I reached down and pulled my boxers down, careful to keep all of my junk in my hand as I stood back up.
"Make him take his hand away baby" Jill pushed
"You heard her, move your hands!" He said calmly
I moved my hands away and with that I admitted defeat. There I was, stood naked, in a cold bathroom, my small cock even more shrivelled up than normal, its usually about 1 and a half inches soft, but it was probably less than an inch, and my balls were so tight they were almost inside me.
"Oh, my, god, you actually thought you were going to end this night, fucking me, with that!" Jill said in disbelief with a smirk on her face.
"Its cold" I tried to argue
"The cold has nothing to do with it, just like it has nothing to do with why you have such a feminine figure, you hid that well under your clothes Pauley" Jill grinned then took another drag on her Joint
She was right, my body did look feminine, for one I was naturally pretty much hairless on my body and the little bits I did get I would shave off, I’m usually quite athletic and lean, but when I do put on weight it all goes to my hips and ass, my ass was round and quite firm and my hips gave me a slight hourglass shape, that’s why I wore a baggy shirt and jeans to the club.
"Fuck dude, I cant believe you thought that my wife, my beautiful, albeit slightly mad wife, would see all of that, and still want to fuck you" he was to the point with his tone, "you must eat pussy like a god with that type of confidence" "change of plan, your going to stay here, and watch me fuck my wife, your going to watch me pound her pussy and cover her hot bouncing tits in my cum"
I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t really have a choice, Alex was between me and the door, and although I don't think he was surprised at his wife’s actions, he certainly had me by the balls and any argument would come back around to me trying to fuck his wife.
I started to concentrate on the positives, it would be just like live porn I guess. I would get to see this beautiful woman, naked and in the throws of wild passion, getting her tight pussy fucked and hear her moans of pleasure while she was filled with Alex' cock.
"Ok ok, but then I can go home" I asked wearily
"Maybe" Jill said under her breath with a giggle
"What you think I’m an asshole that would go back on my word you little bitch!" Alex said, sounding genuinely offended that I would question his integrity.
"In fact Paul, I’m even gunna let you have something outta this deal, you wanted to eat Jill’s pussy so much, I’m gunna let you, your gunna get that sweet little pussy ready for me to fuck, and you better do a good job little dick!" Alex looked over at his wife, who by now had one of her slender legs propped up on the sink and was slowly rubbing herself clearly turned on by all of this
"Well, you heard him Pauley, lets pick up where we were interrupted" Jill stood up, popped her firm tits out of her little dress and walked past me into the cubicle the click of her heels the only sound. The toilet seat cracked shut and she sat down.
submitted by Talesoffantasy to SissyTales [link] [comments]


2020.08.26 19:40 welcometosouthapp Welcome to South App #5: "I'm a Beleaver"

Wednesday, August 26th, 2020
After a ten-day cheese binge, Gigi had gained ten pounds.
That didn’t stop Frank, the Italian Stallion, from picking her up and pinning her to the dorm room wall. They began making out in their underwear for the first time.
“Um...do you have a condom?” Gigi whispered as Frank lifted her up.
“But soft, my dear! Why, I carry the finest lambskins in the land. Made from the intestines of the most supple virgin sheep.”
Frank squeezed her thighs while sliding his tongue down her throat. But after holding her up for so long, his arms began to tremble.
“Maybe we can take it on the bed?” Gigi laughed nervously. “I guess I’m well on the way to the Freshman 15. Woo-hoo!”
Frank tossed the 130-pound Gigi onto the beanbag chair. He straddled her, reaching behind her back to unclasp her bra.
“On second thought, maybe not,” Gigi mouthed, gently pushing his hands away.
“But ask you did - did you not?”
“I...I like you, Frank,” Gigi admitted. “But on a sweaty bean bag chair in a dorm room? It’s...not what I have in mind for my first time!”
“Woe is me! Alas, my sexual and culinary advances remain unrequited.”
Sure enough, Frank was supposed to have cooked dinner for Gigi that previous Friday. But once she’d found out lasagna was on the menu, Gigi had promptly faked the flu. Following her secret cheese dinner with Winston, she had secretly sampled nearly every type of cheese in Buncombe County. And cottage cheese, an ingredient in Frank’s lasagna, was her least favorite. Hard pass.
Gigi slipped into her tight blue jeans and white Beavers hoodie. “Um...looks like I shall depart for class!”
“Next time, shall I conduct myself differently?”
Gigi smiled meekly. “Come as you are, Frank. We’ll try sex again in three months!”
On the 300 Hall, a naked Claire stood handcuffed to the top bunk from behind. She bit her shoulder to muffle her moan as a shiver rattled her body. An also-naked Winston stood up from his knees.
“Mmm...let’s, like, totally do it already!” Claire panted, sweat dripping down her bangs.
It would be Winston’s and Claire’s first time. And he had planned ahead with the help of a little blue pill. “Ah, right,” he grunted. “I reckon I’ll go get a Jimmy hat.”
Winston opened his desk drawer, reminded that his prized fake ID collection was missing. Whoever took it, your ass is grass, Winston thought. Then, while Claire wasn’t looking, he popped a Cialis in his mouth - his second pill in an hour. For good measure, he cracked open a can of Red Bull and chugged.
“Wow,” Claire cooed, looking down at it. “You must be, like, getting ready for a bonafide marathon with me!”
“Your satisfaction is 100% guaranteed or your money back, ma’am.”
But as soon as Winston opened Claire’s legs, it happened.
A metric fuck-ton of caffeine and testosterone coursed through his veins. His pulse sank from one head to another. Target locked: Claire. She gasped in surprise. And Winston’s fragile ego, along with something else, deflated.
“Hashtag OMG,” Claire whispered, more embarrassed than Winston. “It’s, like, totally okay! It looks like we, like, had a little too much foreplay.”
Winston, dead-eyed and stone-faced, put on an old pair of Wrangler jeans and a red flannel. “I...need to give a presentation for class.”
“Oh! Like, good luck! Do you think you can, like, get me a towel?”
Winston grabbed his damp, musky shaving towel and tossed it to Claire. “Wait!” Claire called out as Winston stepped into the hallway. “You forget the-”
The door slammed.
“-Handcuff key.” Alone in Winston’s room, she stared at the key on his desk. “Hey, Siri!” she called out to her iPhone. “Call the Italian Stallion on speaker.”
Frank answered. “Ah, Claire: the woman with fire in thy loins. Shan’t you be in class at this time?”
“You’re, like, too silly! Mornings are for sobering up, not classing. Anywho, Winston I and totally ended our morning...prematurely.”
“Methinks you and Winston hath made more progress than Gigi and yours truly.”
“Aw, you poor thing!” Claire teased, sticking out her lower lip. “Tell you what. My hands are, like, tied right now. Hashtag literally! Wanna come up to Winston’s room and take advantage of me?”
***
At 8 AM Econ class, Jacky, Tai, Sarah, and Evelyn sat in the back of the massive lecture hall. While the professor rambled on about exponential growth, Jacky flipped through the binder of fake IDs.
“On the real, we’re not selling fake IDs,” Jacky declared, pulling out an one that favored the Latina teaching assistant. “We’re selling freedom, the way God always intended it.”
“Well put, Cali,” said Sarah. “Looks like you’ve dethroned Frank as the poet in our posse.”
“Whoa, let’s not get crazy,” Tai chuckled. “Unlike us peasants, Francisco is a Sicilian king.”
“If you love him so much, why don’t you just marry him, broseph,” Jacky snapped. Tai looked down like a shameful dog. Jacky held his grey-eyed stare like an Olympian. Finally, he burst out into laughter. “I’m just dogging you, scaredy-cat! Gotta keep you on your toes or this college junk will get stale.”
“College fucking sucks,” Evelyn chimed in, cranking the volume on her Mickey Avalon song. “It’s all a scam.”
The charismatic Jacky swiped an ID of a girl who looked like a preppy version of Evelyn. “Sounds like you need a new perspective, dudette. In college, you can be anybody you want to be. On the real, that’s why in the past 10 days, I’ve sold 25 IDs alone.”
Tai raised his eyebrows. “Twenty-fucking five? Not too shabby.”
“Oh, did I say 25? I meant that I sold 25 IDs to people in this room alone. Heck, the real total is somewhere around...200.”
Their jaws were on the floor. Jacky pulled out a roll of 100-dollar bills from his cargo shorts. He fanned the cash, then divvied a few bills to each of them.
“That’s 500 apiece each,” Jacky declared. “Just as a show of good faith that this operation won’t be a waste of our time.”
“Holy shit,” Sarah whispered, stuffing the money in her purse. “That’s almost enough goddamn cash for...half a textbook!”
“True that, but God’s last name is not damn,” Jacky hissed.
“Wait, how much money have you made so far?” Tai asked, reaching down and holding Jacky’s hand.
Plenty more,” Jacky whispered, inviting them to get close. “Look at all of God’s lost sheep in this room. Investing all this time and money to make this kind of money appear. Heck, we can do it much faster, dude and dudettes. We can take our operation straight to Beleavers.”
Jacky was referring to the Methodist youth group that met in the Chadwick Learning Center each Wednesday. Students of all faiths, colors, creeds, and M.O.’s were welcome - if only for the campus-renowned free popcorn.
“Ugh, organized religion is a farce,” Evelyn groaned, putting her headphones back in.
“Then you should have no problem taking their money,” Sarah said, yanking her earbud out.
“Exactamundo,” Jacky declared as the professor dismissed class. “Just picture all those students walking around with Mommy and Daddy’s tithe money. All we need to do is earn their business. Let’s get there early tonight and set up a vendor table. Sarah, Evelyn: we need a front. What can you sell?”
“I can sell my collection of human bones from my graveyard raids,” Evelyn offered casually.
They all stared at Evelyn in silence. “H-how about we make homemade bath bombs instead?” Sarah suggested casually.
“Perfect,” Jacky declared. “Tai and I will go to the dorm kitchen and whip up some baked goods. They’ll come for the snacks and leave with new identities.”
“Gravy,” Sarah said, flashing a peace sign. “Now, Evelyn and I have a rematch to settle.”
“Mario Kart?” Tai asked.
“Nah, grappling on the quad.” Sarah snatched Evelyn in a headlock and tickled her stomach. Evelyn burst out laughing, then tapped out. The two friends left the lecture hall.
“On the real, your hippie friend has a lot of nerve leading her on like that,” Jacky said, packing up his books.
“Eh, Sarah’s made it clear that she doesn’t like girls. Or...anybody for that matter.”
“Well, from one gay to another: Sarah’s full of horse crap.”
“Dude, they’re friends! And Evelyn’s not holding out for anything more.”
Jacky cocked his head as the last few students left the lecture hall. “What about us, Tai? Are we just friends?”
Tai leaned in to kiss him. Jacky kissed back harder, slipping his hand beneath Tai’s nylon shorts. Tai tossed his head back, pacing his breaths.
“Try to hold out as long as you can,” Jacky whispered, nibbling his neck. “I don’t want this to end…prematurely.”
“Hold out, huh?” Tai moaned between breaths. “Fuck...guess I gotta...uh, think about Evelyn the demon or something. That’s a turnoff...uh, am I right?”
“Seriously?” Jacky mumbled. “I’m trying to please you, and you’re gonna talk about another woman? Just stop talking.”
My boyfriend’s a hard nut to crack, Tai thought. Yes, it was true that Jacky had been a cocky, jealous, holier-than-thou douche during the whole class. He’s shallow. But God, his hand feels so good. So Tai let Jacky California finish. And afterward, Tai felt like the shallow one. For letting somebody kiss, caress, and fondle him when he knew for damn sure that they had nothing in common.
***
“And in conclusion,” said a female brunette. “That’s why multicultural cuisine is integral to improving the health of obese Americans in our nation. Thank you!”
“Delightful,” exclaimed Dr. Cartwright: Winston’s female Public Speaking professor. The student thanked her, then returned to her desk in the small Learning Center classroom. Today’s topic: Describe how multiculturalism has changed your life.
“Next up: Winston Beavers,” Dr. Cartwright announced. “Ah, quite a fitting last name, if I do say so myself.”
“Much obliged, ma’am.” Winston tipped his cowboy hat. “No one liked my last name until I became a student at South App.” He walked to the front of the classroom carrying two large foam boards.
“Oh! Somebody chose to use props, I see.”
“I was always a visual learner myself.” Winston set the foam boards up on tripods. “Ever since I was a little shit...um, I mean child, I always had a knack for pictures instead of words. I reckon ain’t much changed since then.”
“That’s very...insightful, Winston. Please begin whenever you’re ready.”
Two huge images were printed on the foam boards. One was a high-res photo of a revolver. The other was a simple stock photo of a 3-ring binder.
“Ladies and gents, when I enrolled last month, two precious items were stolen from me.” Winston pulled out a cigarette and pointed at each of the photos. “Exhibit A: my Colt Single Action Army revolver, gifted to me by my daddy. And Exhibit B: a top-secret binder, gifted to me by the fine folks from Beta Delta Epsilon.”
“Who’s got big dicks? We’ve got big dicks!” chanted a few BDE pledges in the back of the class.
“Don’t you forget it. Uh, anyway, I say all this to say: multiculturalism has impacted my life because it was statistically somebody of a certain race who stole these items from me.”
“Mister Beavers, I must stop you as this is highly inappropriate!” blurted out the professor’s teaching assistant.
“Let...let him continue,” Dr. Cartwright muttered, swallowing the lump in her throat. “Mister Beavers, I do presume you have...dare I say, a valuable theme in your speech?”
“I humbly assure you, I do,” replied Winston tipping his cowboy hat. “I reckon you’re gonna wanna listen to what I’m fixin’ to say.”
***
Down at the other end of the Student Center, Gigi donned goggles and rubber gloves while she weighed silver nitrate powder on a scale.
“Everybody make sure that your scale is switched to grams!” cautioned Dr. Spivey: a wild white-haired mad scientist. “And before anybody asks: no, I will not help you cook meth in an RV! I will, however, give you a list of Asheville’s finest marijuana dealers...for a price.”
Gigi added the powder to a volumetric flask. Then, she unzipped her bookbag and grabbed a bottle of distilled water. She slowly poured the water into the flask, swirling the mixture around.
“Smart, smart, smart!” Dr. Spivey praised Gigi. “Why, I see somebody brought their own water. Now, I think I know why. But please humor me.”
“Gladly!” Gigi obliged, swirling the flask until the silver nitrate dissolved completely. “Well, Professor, I opted to access my personal inventory in hopes of bypassing a lengthy dihydrogen monoxide queue! Translation: look at that line!”
Sure enough, a long line of students stood with flasks in hand, waiting to use the tap of distilled water. Dr. Spivey flipped through his attendance roster. “Ah, you’re my pre-dental student: Ji-hye.” He pronounced it incorrectly as Gee-Hi.
“Oh, it’s actually pronounced Gee-Hey. But my real name’s caused so much...um, confusion that most people call me Gigi now.”
“I see. That’s quite unfortunate. Having to change your name all because of someone else.”
Before Gigi could respond, a frat boy called out to the professor. “Hey, Walter White! I’ll pay ya a hundred bucks for a list of all your dealers. Come on, bubba, that’s like half your salary!”
Dr. Spivey sighed and feigned annoyance. “Ah, these kids and their shrewd business exchanges. Guess I better entertain their shenanigans. Keep up the diligence, Ji-hye.” That time, he pronounced it correctly.
After Dr. Spivey left, a nerdy hipster girl tapped Gigi’s shoulder. “Hey, check this out.” The girl raised her cardigan sleeve to reveal a dark silver nitrate tattoo. Fuck Landsharks. It was the South App Beavers’ rival mascot.
“I...fully approve this message!”
“Here, try one on you before the professor gets back.” The girl handed Gigi a paintbrush.
“Neat!” Gigi replied as if accepting party pills for the first time. “But what to write?” She stared at her class schedule, where her name was also listed as “Ji-hye Moon.” Maybe...I should get used to using my real name again.
Gigi pulled up her hoodie sleeve and dipped the brush into the silver nitrate solution. Just then, the professor summoned everybody back to their desks for discussion. “Ji-hye, Ji-hye, Ji-hye,” she repeated, quickly painting a tattoo on the inside of her left hand.
Gigi rushed back to her desk. Dr. Spivey laughed at the class, his white hair sprawling in all directions. “Fools! I saw what you did. Now, let this be a lesson in commitment. Because silver nitrate tattoos take a week to fade. Now...who wants to show me theirs? Or shall I start calling names?”
Goosebumps rose on the back of Gigi’s neck. Not because her tattoo was semi-permanent, but because she was surely about to be the center of attention. But after a moment of tension, the professor simply dismissed class. Gigi bolted out the door. “So long, Ji-hye!” his voice echoed down the hall.
Shit, did he see my tattoo? Gigi picked up the pace, bumping into students who filed out of the Learning Center classrooms. Around the corner, she heard the grinding of coffee beans and frothing of whole milk. She would soon reach safety at Doppio Coffee Shop...
“Whaaa-oomph!” Gigi gasped, slipping on a banana peel. She landed flat on her back, sending her notebook and loose papers flying.
“Whoa, are you okay?” asked a short Indian guy as he rushed to Gigi’s aid. He helped her to her feet. “Yo, did you get that on video?” he asked another Indian, who ran up with a video camera. “Hey, Miss, it was just a social experiment! See, we’re from the South App Social Club. Hey, are you listening? It was just a prank, bro!”
A mentally-drained Gigi kneeled down to collect her supplies. It was only when Gigi reached down to collect her papers that she read the tattoo on her hand. And it did not read Ji-hye...
“WINSTON?!” her voice cracked.
“Jesus fuckin’ Christ,” mumbled a young cowboy, hunched over a large caramel frappuccino. “Are ya that surprised to find me here?”
Winston was sitting at Doppio Coffee Shop. Gigi hurriedly pulled down her hoodie sleeves past her fingertips. She balled the draping sleeves over her fists, concealing the palms of her hands. Then, she walked over to Winston as if she didn’t look like a complete-
“You look like a complete dork!” Winston chuckled.
“Oh! I was...uh, cold,” Gigi lied. She held up her balled-up fists like a panda bear. “See, I made my own gloves!”
Winston snatched her right wrist, then placed it palm-down on the counter. He reached into his pocket for a dull, rusty Swiss Army Knife.
“So what we wanna do is make a quick little incision where the thumb is right here.” Winston cut a small hole in the sleeve. Carefully, he guided her thumb through the hole to create a mitten of sorts for her small hand.
“Now, let’s do your left hand.”
Gigi’s heart skipped a beat as he grabbed her tattooed left hand and lay her palm on the table. Don’t look at my tattoo, don’t look at it, don’t look at it!
“Ugh, damn blade’s straight-up fucked,” Winston scoffed. “Must’ve been that buck I skinned.”
“Eek! That’s so gross! Have you at least washed it?” Don’t look at it, don’t look at it, don’t look at it!
Winston ignored her question. “Here, let me see your palm so I can-”
For the love of all that is sacred and holy, don’t look at it, don’t look at it, DON’T LOOK AT IT!
“I have to poop!” Gigi blurted out.
Winstons let go of Gigi’s hand. He and everybody else stared in disbelief. Of course, she was lying. It’s not even what she meant to say. But Gigi took that baton and ran a country mile. “Um...it appears that most sharp cheeses give me constipation. But ever since I ate all those mozzarella sticks, I have major runs!”
Gigi stood up, crossed her arms, and bowed. Then, she skittered off to the restroom - her secret safe in her left hand.
A preppy guy and girl walked up behind the dumbfounded Winston. “Yo, country boy needs to teach his lady friend some manners, am I right?” The guy looked around, trying to rally the cafe customers for support. “That’s one thing I hate about this liberal town. What a fuckin’ dyke.”
A storm brewed in Winston’s head. But he kept it bottled up inside. He chuckled instead, placing a hand on the guy’s shoulder. A pause. Suddenly, Winston yanked him into a headlock, holding the pocket knife to his crotch. His girlfriend shrieked like a mouse, while the young man raised his trembling hands.
“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck!” the guy yelled.“T-take it easy, man! I was just-”
“Now listen here, partner.” Winston applied pressure with his blade. “I’ve had my share of good days. Matter fact, they’ve been a dime a dozen. But I reckon I’ve had my share of bad days too. And this right here is one of them bad days.” Winston motioned at the paper next to his drink. “See that-there paper over there? That’s the speech I just gave in front of a crowd of SJWs. And you wanna know what the teacher gave me? D-fuckin’-minus.”
“I’m...s-s-sorry,” the preppy guy whimpered.
“Yeah, me too,” Winston grumbled, using his knife to flick off the button on the guy’s board shorts.
“Somebody, do something!” the guy’s air-headed girlfriend cried.
And on cue, a thin brown liquid ran down the preppy guy’s legs. It seeped into his white Champion socks and stained his off-brand boat shoes. The putrid smell hit the gasping, coughing patrons.
Satisfied, Winston shoved the guy into his girlfriend’s arms. “I reckon you best wash up, partner.” Whispers and murmurs in the crowd while the preppy boy limped toward the men’s bathroom. “Hol’ up. I reckon you best make your way to the female bathroom. Matter fact, all bathrooms are gender-neutral around these parts. And while you’re in there, you can apologize to that so-called dyke from earlier. Tell her Winston Motherfucking Beavers sent you.”
With anguish and defeat in his eyes, the lady entered the female bathroom. Satisfied, Winston gathered his things and decided that it was time to get the fuck out of there. But when he turned around to leave, a thunderous applause erupted behind him like an action movie explosion. Winston smiled mischievously. For the first time since he enrolled, he finally belonged.
Suddenly, Winston slipped on the banana feel and landed square on his elbow. “Oh, shit!” exclaimed the Indian student, running to his side. “Are you okay, man?”
***
Frank shivered on top of Claire as she dug her nails into his back. He lay there for a moment, his breath ragged. Then, he rolled off, breathing heavily on Winston’s top bunk. He slipped off the latex condom and tossed it into an empty cheese ball can on Winston’s bunk.
“Alas, thou hadst sucketh the chi from my body and-”
“Remember, like, no talking!” Claire reminded him condescendingly. She pulled the covers over her breasts, opened Instagram, and took a duck-face selfie.
“Ah, perhaps you didn’t get a chance to c-”
“Like, no.” Claire casually added a rabbit-ear filter and snapped a pic. “But that’s, like, totally okay...I guess.”
Frank transformed from Shakespeare to Sherlock, scanning Winston’s filthy bachelor bedspread for something. Anything. There were cigarette butts, saltine crumbs, half a stick of butter, Fun Dip packages with only the dip missing, a whole uneaten chicken wing, piss in a Sprite bottle, a Happy Meal box with a dead rat inside, three leaking D Batteries, and Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.
Finally, Frank grabbed a nearly-empty can of whipped cream. He yanked the covers off the naked Claire and sprayed a line from her collarbone to navel. Now, he had Claire’s full, undivided attention. She slowly looked down at the runny mess that pooled into her belly button. Then, she gave him the hungriest bedroom eyes Frank had ever seen.
“If you’re, like, going to play with your food, then you better totally clean up after yourself.”
Frank and Claire proceeded to do unthinkable things in that bed. And Winston’s top bunk held on by faith and faith alone. Finally, they collapsed next to one another. Two sweaty messes bathing in afterglow. Afterward, they snuck into the men’s shower where they agreed on two things. One: they were going to burn that mattress out of respect for Winston. And two: they were going to have sex at Beleavers that night.
***
“Look here, you little bitch!”
Evelyn grabbed the young, black cheerleader’s collar and pulled her across the table, showing her fangs.
“W-whoa!” the cheerleader stammered. “Chill out! I’m...sorry.”
“Sorry about what?”
The girl panned from Evelyn to Sarah, Tai, and Jacky. “I’m...uh, sorry for asking you if you were selling tickets to a Marilyn Manson concert.”
“Apology accepted!” Sarah cheered on Evelyn’s behalf. She pointed at the assorted bath bombs for sale in the Learning Center Ballroom. “Everything you see here is between 10 and 15. If you have a sweet tooth, the fine gents to my right are selling yummy cookies and banana bread. Or…” Sarah pulled out the sacred BDE binder and placed it on the table. “Between you and me, we’re selling fake IDs.”
“Yeah!” Tai said. “There’s a few young ladies in there who have a mocha complexion almost as rich as yours!”
Jacky elbowed Tai in the ribs. Tai sucked in a breath, while his boyfriend acted as nothing had just happened. My boyfriend is jealous over fuckin’ everything.
The cheerleader looked over her shoulder to make sure the coast was clear. Then, she flipped through the pages as if she was dress shopping. “They contain the new state watermark and everything!” Sarah informed her customer. “We accept only cash at the moment. They cost-”
“A hundred, dudette,” Jacky interjected. Sarah gave him a worrisome side-eye at the exorbitant price. But as expected, the rich cheerleader pulled out the bills and handed them over.
“Oh, that makeup actually makes your eyes pop - no cap,” the cheerleader told Evelyn, before disappearing into the Beleavers crowd with her fake ID.
“Mission accomplished!” Jacky cheered. They had managed to pull off just over 100 sales: 7500 bucks split four ways. Now, it was time to close up shop for the night. Soon, the Christian rock band would take the stage to celebrate God in a room full of students with brand new identities.
“Come on, Tai,” Jacky said, smiling warmly. “Let’s grab some popcorn. I have somebody I want you to meet.”
Tai waved at the girls as they watched them leave.
“I...really don’t know what to make of Jacky,” Sarah admitted. “A few weeks ago, I tracked him down across campus because I thought he was smoking hot. I mean, he still is. But still…”
“He’s a fucking fake,” Evelyn fumed. “That holier-than-thou douchelord can sit on a tack.”
“Whoa, sounds like you need to relieve some stress,” Sarah chuckled, punching Evelyn’s arm. “Why don’t we head to the quad and settle our tie-breaker?”
At that, Sarah and Evelyn left for one last grappling match to end them all.
***
Winston and Gigi approached the Ballroom entrance, where thumping Christian rock rattled the door.
“So...are you a Christian or are you here for the popcorn?” Winston asked.
“A little bird told me that it is pretty tasty!” Gigi admitted sheepishly.
“And I reckon that little bird was Frankie?”
“Yes, actually! He’s supposed to meet me here. But...I haven’t heard from him in a few hours.”
“Ah. Same with Claire.”
Just like last week’s restaurant date, Gigi and Winston had been once again ghosted by their lovers. It had become a running meme at this point.
“M-maybe their bus is running late?” Gigi suggested, failing to convince even herself.
“Hey, while we’re meddlin’ in conspiracy theories, I’ve got one too. See, Frankie likes to cook. And I’mma bet he’s with Claire, baking her a fresh, homemade cream-”
Gigi clamped her hand over Winston’s mouth. Gigi’s pupils said it all. So he opted to lay off the jokes. Neither either of them really believed their lovers were sneaking around with each other.
Winston opened the ballroom door and promptly caught an elbow to the temple.
“Oomph!” Winston groaned. Gigi slouched against the wall for safety. The scene was no Sunday morning gospel band. This was a Christian hardcore band. And they had just walked into a mosh pit.
“W-Winston!” Gigi yelled over the screamo vocals. But among the flurry of flailing super-Christians, Winston had vanished. Gigi bent her knees and jumped as high as she could, searching for his cowboy hat in the crowd. Suddenly, a punk-rock girl came up from behind and lifted her into the air.
“She’s tryin’ to go surfing!” the girl yelled, heaving her into the crowd like a FedEx package. Gigi gasped before landing into a sea of open hands. This “wave” slowly guided her through the spazzing strobe lights and fog.
Suddenly, an anonymous hand grazed her breast, then very deliberately squeezed it. “W-whaaa!?” Gigi pulled her knee to her stomach, then kicked the culprit square in the face.
“You bitch!” the fondler yelled psychotically, cupping a hand over his bleeding nose. “Throw this fucking slut overboard!” And, in unison, the moshers raised and lowered her body in their hands. “One, two, three!”
Gigi flew into the air - falling, falling, falling until she crashed into a table of baked goods and bath bombs. Winded, she slipped behind the tablecloth and curled up under the table. The mob raged outside.
“Animals,” Gigi whispered, rubbing her sore breast. Alone in the dark under that table, she wanted to cry. She could only imagine what Winston would have done if she caught that pervert red-handed. Maybe I should have let him keep his gun.
Gigi turned on her phone’s flashlight and looked around. Under the table were several cardboard boxes. One, in particular, was labeled Sarah’s Box O’Fun. Gigi recognized it immediately. On move-in day, she’d watched Sarah unpack a huge bong from that very box. Then, Sarah had dared a drunk Winston to drink the bong water. He did. (“Gigi, meet my brother.”)
This is...Sarah’s table? She’s here at Beleavers tonight? Feeling gutsy, she sifted through the box. On top of the mountain of bath bombs and baked goods, the B.D.E. binder sat there in all its glory. She flipped through pages upon pages of fake IDs. On a scratch sheet of notebook paper: a tally of sales for Sarah, Evelyn, Tai, and Claire. But no Winston. And slowly, her busy brain started to connect the dots.
“Holy balls,” she whispered, snapping the stolen binder shut. She thought about taking it right then and there and returning it to its bearded beast of an owner. But another thought crossed her mind.
I could leave it here and blackmail them for money, Gigi thought. All I have to do is threaten to tell Winston! The decision was set in stone. She left the binder behind and slipped out from under the table. But not before stealing a baseball-sized charcoal bath bomb.
***
In the popcorn line, safe from the mosh pit, Jacky stood in front of Tai with his back turned. The blonde-haired surfer had been rambling excitedly with an Asian guy for five minutes now. And not once had Jacky thought to introduce him.
“Oh, Tai Maple!” Jacky finally remembered, turning to face him. “This is my friend: Benji. Benji, meet Tai.”
This freckle-faced Asian guy gave a slight bow. Tai immediately knew who he was. In fact, Gigi had given him the full scoop while she and Tai had shared her very first cheese pizza. It had all begun on the day where the freshmen tracked down Jacky in his mail truck. Jacky had mistaken the cross-dressing Gigi with the Benji who now stood before him.
And this Benji was allegedly Jacky’s secret long-time crush.
“Benji, would you please grab us a popcorn?” Jacky asked politely, stepping out of the line. “I need to talk to my friend here...alone.”
“Friend,” Tai echoed, following Jacky like a lost puppy.
“Tai, this is just as hard for me, brother,” Jacky frowned, more condescending than empathetic.
“The hell it is!” Tai blew up, drowned out by the hardcore band. “You had your hand in my pants just a few hours ago! Were you fucking planning on leaving me this whole time? For him?!”
“Tai, listen man. Look, I know everything. When you showed up at the coffee shop, I knew you’d been spying on me long before you met me. I first thought our meeting was a...beautiful coincidence. But all along, you were pulling the wool over my eyes. But that’s okay, brochacho! Because I gave you a chance anyway. See, I wanted to save you from what you are! You’re a liar, bro. But in God’s eyes, we all-”
“I let you take my goddamn virginity!” Tai exploded over the music, his jaw twitching uncontrollably.
A pitiful look from Jacky. “I see. That does complicate things a bit, on the real. Look, you can have a quarter of my earnings from tonight’s sales. And I promise to pray for you every night before-”
“Fuck you and fuck your God! I hope you die in your fucking sleep! I hate you, I hate you, I HATE YOU!”
Tai turned around and walked confidently out of the ballroom, holding his head up high while vertigo weighed it down. But nobody stopped him. And not once did he look back.
***
Winston limped down the Learning Center hallway with a pounding headache. He struggled to keep his twitching, swollen eye open while passing the empty classrooms. Where he was going, not even he knew. He just had to get far away from that mosh pit.
“Calm, child! You’re quite a fool to be walking around with a concussion!”
Winston turned around. Through his good eye, he saw a large, middle-aged Haitian woman in an African floral dress and headwrap. She held a bible in her large, smooth hands.
“Join us, child,” the woman beckoned, pointing into a classroom of Haitian students in chairs.
Winston smiled weakly, thinking back to his controversial speech from class that morning. “I mighty appreciate it, ma’am. But I reckon I ain’t much worthy.” He turned to walk away, but accidentally stumbled like a drunkard into the woman’s arms.
“Soft, my child,” she soothed him, ushering him into the room of students. “Not one of us is worthy. But there is good news.”
A half-hour later, Winston was sitting in the front row of the Haitian Student Ministry with a bag of frozen peas pressed to his swollen eye. The matriarch, Nadia, was delivering a passionate Psalm 107 sermon to her students.
“Let the one who is wise heed these things,” Nadia read. “And ponder the loving deeds of the Lord. Amen. Now, to conclude, I’d like to introduce our guest: Winston from Beleavers. Please, child, tell us about yourself.”
The young men on either side of Winston gave him a back pat. Winston slowly stood up and tipped his cowboy hat. In his mind, it was his Public Speaking 101 all over again. But in class, he hadn’t been standing in front of all-black students. Like he was now.
“Well, like I told Nurse Nadia earlier. I don’t feel like I’m worthy among y’all fine folks here. I mighty appreciate Nadia for patching me up. And for y’all’s hospitality.”
Winston headed for the door, but Nadia blocked the exit. “Please, child. Do your sins trouble you? May it ease your soul to know that there are redeemed people in this very room who have committed acts of credit card fraud, gang violence, and even beastiality?”
Winston blinked.
But somehow, Nadia’s words did not repel these people away. They brought them closer. So Winston opened his mouth and confessed what had been brewing in his mind all day.
“Well, uh...today in speech class, I said the N-word. I didn’t mean to be ugly when I said it. Only said it to take power away from it. But I reckon I really hurt a couple of people in that class. The only reason the teacher didn’t ban me from the class was ‘cause she wanted me to learn a lesson this year. And I’m tryin’, Nadia. I’m...tryin’ real hard.”
The students didn’t come forward to comfort Winston, who now choked on tears. But they didn’t back away either. It was only when Nadia lay a hand on him that the other students followed suit.
“It sounds like you have a lot to think on,” Nadia said warmly, as layers of hands covered him. “I wish you luck on your journey. We will always be here whenever Beleavers get a little too...rowdy.”
Nadia and the students led a closing prayer for Winston. He smiled as a rush of dopamine reached the brain. The tears flowed freely, even as he used the bag of frozen peas to dab his face.
“Amen,” Nadia concluded. Everybody left Winston’s side and began stacking chairs.
“Wait,” Winston said, returning to his confident southern drawl. “Let me take care of them-there chairs. It’s...the least this poor white boy can do.”
And so, Winston began folding chairs alone while the others left. And like Jesus on the Via Dolorosa, he began carrying ten chairs down the long hallway toward the supply closet. And like all other men, Winston was hell-bent on making only one trip.
“Winston!” Gigi blurted out as he turned a corner. With his hands full, his black eye had nowhere to hide. Gigi dropped her jaw. Then, her mouth formed a pitiful frown. She kissed her tattoo-free hand and gently pressed her fingertips on Winston’s eyelid.
“One more time,” Winston suggested with a grin.
Gigi hesitantly kissed her hand, then reached for Winston’s eyelid again. Suddenly, Winston playfully bit her hand. “Eek!” Gigi quickly brought her hand to her chest.
“You’re a good woman, Gigi,” Winston chuckled, reflecting on his own moral character. Both of their faces flushed red. He shook his head, arms trembling from the weight they carried. “Look, I gotta put these chairs up. Walk with me.”
Gigi carried four of the chairs. And even then, she lagged behind Winston. “So, what’s the word on Frankie? You find him in that-there mob?”
Gigi shook her head, her long black hair whipping back and forth. “Nope! And Claire?”
“Shit,” Winston said, emotionally detached. “Honestly, I don’t expect to see her ever again.”
“Hmmm...so why don’t they love us anymore?”
“Beats me,” said Winston, as they set their chairs down at the closet door. “But if I was a betting man, I’d wager it’s because you and I seem to be attached at the hip these days.”
“Do you think they don’t trust us together? I mean, as friends?”
“Should they?”
Gigi opened her mouth, then closed it. Then, they quickly reached for the doorknob at the same time. A moment passed, and they did not move their hands. Slowly, her earthy brown eyes met his icy blue ones. Gigi’s tattoo was on fire.
Together, they turned the doorknob. And lo and behold: it was Frank and Claire.
Frank’s pants were around his ankles - all eight inches of uncut glory on full display. Claire was on her knees, snorting an eight-inch line of red-and-white cocaine from root to tip. As soon as they were spotted, Claire frantically wiped her nose while Frank shuffled to button his pants.
“W-w-woe is me!” Frank moaned in despair. “It doth appear that our feline hath escaped its rucksack!”
“Like, no fucking shit, Sherlock!” Claire snapped, brushing the cocaine off her shirt. “Do you ever, like, shut the fuck up? Like, look Winston and Gigi! I promise this is, like, not what it looks like. It was just, like, like, like, like, like-”
Winston and Gigi slowly stared at each other - sly grins on their faces.
“Um...are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Gigi asked Winston cheerfully.
“I sure the hell am, buddy,” Winston answered. They each grabbed a folding chair and approached the pair of adulterers.
***
A short while later, at dusk, Winston and Gigi sat on the curb of the Chadwick Hughes Learning Center - handcuffed. A fresh-faced, fat officer stood with his arms crossed, staring at the excited pair of criminals.
“So, you mean to tell me you…stabbed this chick with a chair?” the officer asked, dumbfounded.
“Yep!” Gigi piped up, a wide smile plastered on her face. “I managed to wield my melee weapon like a medieval knight, riding with the north winds until that raging thundercunt landed on her assless keister!”
“That was fuckin’ awesome,” Winston said, giving her an elbow bump. “But not as awesome as me crackin’ Frankie’s skull.”
The cop knitted his brows, taking extensive notes. “Alrighty then. Anything else y’all wanna add?”
Gigi and Winston grinned at each other, adrenaline fueling their veins. They had truly saved the best for last.
“Then, I took out my phone,” Winston started. “And I showed them a pic of-”
“He flashed them a pic of him taking my virginity!” Gigi finished proudly. But it was a lie. No, Winston had instead shown the cheaters the photo of Gigi eating cheese for the first time with Winston. And despite being attacked with a chair, that photo had shocked Frank more than anything.
Cop 2 walked over to Cop 1 and whispered something into his ear. Cop 1 nodded and pointed at Jacky and Claire. The pair looked tired and traumatized, and were hugging and consoling each other next to another cop car.
“Y’all got off lucky this time,” Cop 2 jeered. “They ain’t gonna press charges. You must have some deep dirt on ‘em or something.”
He wasn’t wrong. That red-and-white cocaine was Ryan’s signature product. The BDE fraternity circulated that cocaine more widely than Jacky and his fake IDs. And it was a much larger, lucrative operation. In Winston’s eyes, Claire didn’t want to risk Winston snitching in retaliation for being thrown in jail.
“Ladies first,” said Cop 1, helping Gigi off the curb to her feet. He spun her around and unlocked her handcuffs. “What kinda ink job is that?” the cop muttered, reading the silver nitrate tattoo on Gigi’s palm. “Winston...wait a sec. Hey, that’s your name, right?”
Winston cocked his head at the cop’s question. Gigi’s knees trembled as she let out a nervous chuckle. It surely wasn’t the craziest thing to happen that day. But goddamn, would it be hard to explain.
“Gigi, what the hell?” Winston muttered with a blank expression.
“Call me Ji-hye!” Gigi blurted out proudly. Winston shook his head with a smile as he watched her disappear into the Asheville night.
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2020.08.24 18:01 GloomLady There’s Room Enough For Two. ©2019

Original Nosleep Post.
There’s Room Enough For Two.
As I did every morning, I nervously stepped on to the scale. I'd upped my daily exercise this month and it had led to a nerve racking plateau for my weight loss. It had been two weeks without any significant loss. Prior to the stall I'd been losing a steady ten pounds a month. It had been a year and I was halfway to my goal.
Standing on the scale, in nothing by my flabby birthday suit, I smiled as the digits fluctuated and landing on the final number. Half a pound down from yesterday.
"Yes!" I whispered. I stepped off and looked at my naked body in the mirror. Excess skin was now my most prominent feature. A flabby apron hung far below my waste, nearly overtaking my groin region. My once plump thighs now had folds and wrinkles adorning the pasty skin. My pendulous breasts looked like they belonged on a much older woman. I held my arms out and watched the loose skin flap about.
Was it gross? Probably. Was I disgusted by myself? Not at all. I was happy to finally be losing weight. After two decades overweight I was well on my way to being a healthy size. For the first time in my life I was proud of my body. I admired my newly unearthed cheek bones as I reached for my clothes on the counter. Briefly glancing at my arm flab as I slipped my bra straps onto my shoulders. If the car breaks down I can always use my new wings to to fly to work. a thought that made me chuckle.
In the kitchen I started packing my lunch. I carefully measured each ingredient, on my digital scale, before typing it in to the calorie counting app on my phone. Once my lunch was packed in my lunch bag I hurried out the door for work.
"Morning, skinny lady." Joyce, the receptionist, was excited for me. She'd managed to lose over a hundred pounds, after a weight loss surgery, a few years prior. We had never talked before she saw me chugging a weight loss shake a few months ago. Now we ate lunch together every day, discussing the ins and outs of our nutrition plans. She was quickly becoming one of my best friends.
"Morning!" I said as I walked passed her, and headed to my row of cubicles. I worked for a callcenter with revolving contracts. At that moment we were taking billing calls for a big cellphone company, management was elated and making sure we were all preforming at our best; Which meant raises for the best agents. "Thank you for calling [Redacted] together with [Redacted], Were we value your loyalty. My name is May! How can I help you today?"
"Why is my bill so high?!" The woman shouting into my headset had a thick southern accent. "I'd be happy to go over your bill with you, can I please have the phone number associated with the account?" I said cheerfully.
"Why the hell do you need that? Shouldn't you have my account in front of you?" While the company my call center worked for did have a program that auto-populated the information, from known numbers, we didn't have access to it.
"No, I'm sorry ma'am, I'll need to pull up your account manually. I'll just need the phone number on your account as well as your security phrase."
"Fine. The number is [Redacted] and my password is big d. That's, B-I-G-D, in case you're as dumb as you sound." I typed in the information and ignored her remark. You get used to people being assholes when you work at a call center.
"One moment while I look over your account, ma'am." Frequent caller flashed red in the corner of the screen. I skimmed through the notes on the account. Every 3 months she was calling in to get a discount on her bill, which she also didn't pay until she got that discount.
"You there?" She asked before mumbling, "Dumb bitch."
"Yes, ma'am. I see here that you haven't paid your bill since the..." I scrolled back down to get the date, "Twenty-Ninth of April."
"Don't tell me what I already know, Mary! I asked you why my damn bill was so high!" Disgruntled callers always got my name wrong. Correcting her would only make the call longer. I explained the chargers, late fees and payment policy, offered to apply her usual discount as a "One time courtesy." As all the other agents in her notes had done, and ended the call as quickly as possible. My next caller came on the line before I could finish adding my own note.
"Thank you for calling [Redacted] together with [Redacted], Were we value your loyalty. My name is May! How can I help you today?" "There's room enough for two." A voice whispered into my ear.
"Excuse me?" I asked. We often got prank calls, procedure was to do your best to stay polite and follow the script. I tabbed over to the window for my call script.
"We'll be together tonight." The caller whispered. I skimmed the script until I reached the last paragraph.
"If I've answered all your questions today please check your email for a customer satisfaction survey. Thank you for calling [Redacted]! We appreciate your loyalty and hope you have a great day." Ending the call I put my phone into After Call Work mode and took off my headset. We had ten minutes of ACW to use everyday, on detailed account notes or quick breaks, so I wasn't worried about my supervisor seeing me not taking calls.
In my pocket my phone buzzed. There was a No Phones on the Call Floor rule, but no one really followed it. I leaned back to get better access to my pocket and slipped my phone out. I had a new text.
11:00
It was from an unknown number. I considered the possibility of it being connected to the bizarre call I'd just gotten, but quickly pushed the thought away and put my headset back on. The rest of the day carried on as usual. Calls, break, calls, lunch, calls, break, calls, clock out. Joyce had already left for the day, and been replaced by the snobby blonde night shift receptionist, as I headed to the door.
"Oh! May! You had a phone call earlier, but you were on the floor so I took a message. You know you can't give out this number for personal calls." Her blonde hair was pulled into a tight bun at the tip of her head, making her features even more severe than usual.
"I've never given anyone the number to our front desk. What was the message?" I asked as she looked down to her violently pink note pad. "Creepy guy, whispered the whole time. He said to tell you, See you soon." she looked up and gave me a sly smile, "Hot date with Mr. CreepyMcWhispers, May?" I shook my head. "Well, anyway. I won't rat on you this time, but tell your creepy boyfriend to call you on your own time."
The drive home was uneventful. Upon entering my apartment I had an uneasy feeling and decided I should check the house before settling in for the night. Nothing was out of place and all the windows were locked. I headed to the bathroom to squeeze myself out of the sausage casing, that was my tummy control undergarment, and slip into my yoga pants and an old t-shirt to hit my little home gym.
An hour later I was on the couch, binging my favorite show, and munching on carrots and a plate of deli meat and crackers for dinner. I absentmindedly checked the time on my fitbit.
7:38.
A chill ran down my spine as I remembered the phone call, text and message I'd received earlier. I brushed it off and finished two more episodes before jumping in the shower and calling it a night.
Laying in bed I was restless. The red glow from the digital clock, on my bedside table, taunted me to look at it.
10:58.
The numbers pulsed.
10:59.
I stared into the numbers until my eyes burned and I remembered to blink. Upon opening them a feeling of dread washed over me.
11:00.
The floor outside my bedroom door creaked. A cold sweat seeped from every pore on my body as my heart began to race. I propped myself up on my elbows to see the sliver of light under my door. Nothing moved. I stared until the light blinked out, causing me to jump and burry myself in my bed. From the mock safety of my blankets I listened to my door nob rattle and turn. I tried to flatten myself into the mattress, disappear beneath the pillow top and springs. Obviously that was impossible.
"There's room enough for two." The voice from my headset whispered. Only it wasn't in my headset. I wasn't at work. The voice was in my home. In my bedroom. In the dark, with me. I couldn't move. Fear held me down on the bed. The movement of something getting on to my bed gave me the courage to bolt up and uncover myself enough to stare into the white eyes of the thing crawling on top of me. I tried to scream but all that my fear riddled body could manage was a whimper. It's cold wet hand slammed into my chest, pushing me back down on to the bed. It held me down while the other hand tore the blankets away from my stomach.
"So much room." It whispered as it slid its hand under my nightshirt and kneaded my belly. I tried to push it off of me, tried to wriggle away, but it was too strong and its skin was covered in a slimey mucus that caused my hands to slip right off of it. In a final attempt to free myself I reached for my clock and, with all my strength, slammed it into the side of the things head. It loosened its hold on me and I was able to slide out of bed. Recovering quickly, the thing pounced as I tried to run for the door, causing me to bash my head into my dresser and black out.
When I came to there was a searing pain in my abdomen. Sharp pulling and unbearable pressure. I opened my eyes to see my stomach bulging unnaturally around the thing as it was attempting to force itself into my stomach through a large cut it had made in the underside of my overhanging belly. It's feet were pushing into my thighs, it's arms had forced their way under my skin and into my back, and it's head was a bulbous bludgeon under my flesh nearing my chest. All that remained, outside of me, was it's back, rear end, and legs. It jerked and and pushed deeper into my flesh. I passed out from the pain and shock.
In the morning I awoke on the floor, I reached up to my throbbing head and felt a twinge of pain as my hand touched matted blood soaked hair around an open wound. I must have gotten out of bed to use the bathroom and hit my head, after my nightmare I thought. I forced myself up and gripped the dresser as everything's around me swam. I carefully made my way to the bathroom to clean myself up and find the first aid kit. My entire body ached.
After I was patched up a caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My stomach had rounded itself out, the skin was taught and supple. aI stepped onto the scale.
136 pounds heavier than yesterday.

.

.

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2020.08.23 15:20 autobuzzfeedbot Here's What 31 Husbands Do To Keep Their Relationships Alive. Also, Get You A Man Like This.

  1. "My husband and I have a nightly ritual. He says, 'Sweet dreams,' and I say, 'Dream about me.' Then he always responds, 'I do.'"
  2. "I write cheesy pick-up lines on Post-It notes, and leave them on my wife's coffee cup in the morning."
  3. "I scratch her back when she takes her bra off at the end of the day, and I always 'ooh' and 'ahh' when she steps out of the shower."
  4. "I have chronic spinal pain, and have to sleep on a heating pad every night. Sometimes, my husband turns it on and gets it heated up for me before I come to bed, and it really touches my heart."
  5. "I compliment more than just her physical features. While it's easy to say, 'You're beautiful,' I find it means more to her when I say things like, 'You inspire me.'"
  6. "When she cooks, I take less than enough food the first time so that I can take more later and make her feel good."
  7. "When it's my turn to do the laundry, I leave random things in her pants pockets for her to find later — origami, little notes, cute drawings, jokes, whatever I can think of. I even sometimes throw in random objects I find at work or yard sales — stuff like mechanical parts, labels, toys — anything that will confuse her and put a smile on her face."
  8. "I buy my wife flowers at completely random times. There's no rhyme or reason — I just see them and think she needs them."
  9. "Once a month, I get a babysitter, take my wife to a nice dinner, we have sex and cuddle at a hotel for an hour, then I leave her at the hotel so she can have a nice morning to herself off from mom duties."
  10. "When we're falling asleep but it's too hot to snuggle, he puts his foot on top of mine instead."
  11. "My partner and I live in different countries, and we only see each other every six weeks — so keeping our relationship alive takes extra work. But he knows how much hearing his voice calms me down, so he makes sure that he calls me every single night, even if it's just for a few seconds to say goodnight."
  12. "My boyfriend makes me coffee every morning — even if he's up at 5 a.m. for work — and he couldn't believe that nobody had done that for me before. I'm a single parent, and I'm used to doing everything myself, so a nice gesture like that is everything."
  13. "He claps every time I undress. It's so corny, but it really does make me feel beautiful."
  14. "I throw her towel in the dryer for a bit when she's in the shower."
  15. "My husband does the dishes because he knows I hate doing them."
  16. "When my wife calls, I always answer the phone like an excited child who gets to talk to his biggest hero, no matter how my day is going. Trust me, a shitty 'hello' turns into a shitty call, which leads to a shittier 'hello' later, and ultimately a shitty toxic relationship if left unchecked."
  17. "I stash chocolate to give to her when she has a bad day. Sometimes she even asks me if I have any 'secret chocolate.' It makes both our days better."
  18. "My husband of 23 years has been opening my car door since our first date. And he doesn't allow our daughter to get in a car unless the date opens her door."
  19. "I still kiss her goodnight, and I hold her hand while we sleep."
  20. "We share the exact same political views, but most of our family members do not. Well, I was a nationally ranked debater, so expressing my views comes very easily to me, but not as easily to my wife. So whenever she's having one of those intense discussions and she's getting flustered, I hop in and take over the argument for her..."
  21. "I photograph Renaissance faires, and my husband plants flowers in our yard so I have something to photograph when I'm at home."
  22. "Sometimes it's as simple as just running into the convenience store while the gas is pumping and grabbing her a Snickers bar just so she knows I was thinking about her."
  23. "Dates. I give her a reason to get dressed up, to have something to look forward to, something to tell her girlfriends about. I just text her the time and the dress code, and it ends up making both of our weeks."
  24. "I love how my husband still shows off for me in the corny — and sometimes cringey — way he did when we first started dating."
  25. "Remember to keep saying the things you think. If you think to yourself that she looks pretty, say so. If you remembered how lucky you are to have her while you were listening to your friends complain about their relationships, be sure to tell her when you get home..."
  26. "My fiancé always kisses me good morning — even if I'm half asleep and drooling."
  27. "Little touches whenever she's within arm's reach, and daily texts just to say, 'Hey, sexy. I can't wait to see you later.'"
  28. "It sounds stupid, but I still hold her hand whenever we go out. It really signifies how I feel."
  29. "Always be the guy who's willing to talk to the manager. My wife doesn't like to make a fuss because she's too shy, but if she was given tickets to the wrong movie or her food is missing something, I don't let it slide..."
  30. "Compliment her on everything — her looks, her outfits, her hair, how she smells, her decisions, her choices in whatever. Let her know constantly that you think she’s the shit."
  31. "My parents have been together for 48 years, and sadly, my dad has cancer and only has days left. Well, he's been scheming behind my mother's back to make it easier on my mom — asking me to send her flowers for him, and having me sort out the taxes. He even asked me to find a card for him to give her for their next anniversary — he won't be here for it, but he still wants to write it one last time. That is love."
Link to article
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2020.08.21 23:06 Quirky-Motor EXTENSIVE two-part write up. The murder of Laci Peterson- is there really reasonable doubt? The end of the prosecution case and defense's case. Part 2 of 2. Please read part 1 first for the prosecution case and background.

Other info used by the prosecution
What Laci was wearing when she went missing is somewhat of a mystery. Laci was found in tan maternity capris and a maternity bra. Her sister Amy, the last person who saw Laci conclusively, said she was wearing tan maternity capris, a floral blouse, and dress shoes when she saw Laci on the evening of the 23rd. Those clothes were found in the home during the search warrant. The blouse was in the hamper and the pants were in the hanging in the closet. Laci was found in very similar pants to the ones she was wearing on the 23rd, she may have had two pairs of the same pants. She was not found in a white shirt or black pants like Scott and neighbors claimed she as wearing. This was the outfit on Laci’s missing poster.
Scott refused to get Laci’s dental records for Modesto PD for weeks. He made excuses such as he didn’t know the address or couldn’t remember which dentist she went to. When police got the records, it showed that Scott and Laci went to the same dentist.
Scott never inventoried Laci’s things. When he discovered she was missing he never looked to see if she took her purse, cell phone, or coat with her on her walk.
At the home an open bottle of ranch dressing was on the counter on the night of the 24th. When asked Scott said he didn’t like ranch dressing and that it was for Laci’s pizza, which they ate the night before.
The Rochas wanted to retrieve some of Laci’s things such as mementos and Laci’s diary from the Peterson home, but Scott would not comply. Scott replied by getting a security system and Lee said the Rochas could not have these things because they were “Scott’s property.” Scott called the security company for his house and made sure the company knew “no Rochas” was his policy. Sharon later broke into the house to get these things- no charges were filed against the Rochas.
Scott tried to sell he and Laci’s home only three weeks after Laci went missing. He asked realtors to keep the story out of the press and wanted the house sold as is, completely furnished, with everything in it. Despite this he still would not give the Rochas Laci’s things such as her wedding dress, diary, or décor from the home.
There has been much debate over whether or not Scott wanted to have a baby or not and his behavior shows both a doting father and a bachelor playboy, depending on who you ask. At one-point Scott was talking to Anne Marie Rocha, Brent’s wife when he told her that he “was hoping for infertility” in the middle of Laci’s struggle to get pregnant. She thought it was a weird joke. On a home video of a holiday, Scott has to hold a baby for a few minutes and says “well this isn’t very fun” Laci says, “this is the only time you’ll see him do that (hold a baby)” and laughs. Scott told Amber Frey that he was so adamant about not having a child he wanted to get a vasectomy. Adversely, others have mentioned that Scott did want a baby. He painted Conner’s nursery and when Laci was trying to conceive, he got a Viagra prescription to make sure they would be able to have sex when she was ovulating.
In January 2003, Sharon Rocha called Scott to inform him that in a Jan. search of the bay searchers did not find Laci, only an anchor. Scott seems to whistle in relief. The conversation was so unsettling it was played for the jury.
Throughout the investigation Scott never participated in any public events for his wife. He refused to talk at vigils, on the news, or even get his photograph taken by local reporter Ted Rowlands. This was surprising to Rowlands as most missing people get very little press and when they do loved ones typically jump at the opportunity to spread the word about their missing relatives. Eventually, Scott contacted Gloria Gomez and gave a total of four interviews. In these interviews Scott said things like "I loved Laci" past tense and other statements which made him look bad to the public.
In January det. Grogan asked Scott again if he had had any affairs. Scott said no and Grogan produced a picture of Scott and Amber. Scott peered at the photo for a while and then responded, “Is that supposed to be me?”
In early January, when Laci had been missing for three weeks, Scott called dish network and added the Playboy channel to his subscription. Four days later he canceled the channel and instead added the TENXtsy channel, a hardcore porn channel instead which cost I believe an extra $12.99 monthly. This was for the TV in the living room. He canceled the channel on February 18th 2003, the day a search warrant was to be executed in his home. He told the dish network he was cancelling because he was moving abroad. One documentary claims that the police bought the subscription to frame Scott. Like many other tidbits in this story alone it doesn’t mean much but it shows how Scott was behaving as if his wife was not coming home.
Before his arrest Scott was staying with his half-sister Anne Bird in San Diego. While there Scott’s came on to Anne’s babysitter and made her mixed drinks, he called flirtinis. Jackie Peterson also said to the babysitter “I hope Scott can meet a nice girl like you.” The behavior of both Scott and Jackie was so outrageous and inappropriate the babysitter never came back.
Scott had two debit cards. One was linked to a PayPal account that Laci did not know about. He used this account to buy things for his various girlfriends.
Scott bought Ayiana, Amber’s daughter a pop-up book for Christmas. This book was purchased for Conner by Scott’s sister and given to Laci at Conner’s baby shower.
There were some rumors in this case that Laci had previously also had an affair with a man who worked at her gym. These rumors were unable to be verified by either the prosecution or the defense and no evidence to support this theory was ever found.
When patrol officers first entered the house, they noticed the defense attorney ad was open in the phone book on the kitchen counter. Later tests showed that the phone book naturally opened to several different ads because of how the pages were designed. This ad was one of those pages.
On Dec. 25th Lee Peterson made sure that Scott had an attorney, and was no longer speaking to anyone within the police department. This made some think that Lee was suspicious of his son from the beginning. Others have said that Lee was simply being proactive.
By February police told Laci’s family that they had cleared all of Laci’s family members… with the exclusion of Scott.
Chris Pixley and Richard Cole are two journalists who are always interviewed in documentaries about the case. Both men stayed with the Petersons and were planning on helping the Petersons write a book about the case after Scott was exonerated. Both men attended the trial on family passes.>
Laci’s family supported Scott for the first few weeks of the investigation.
After the testimony of over 100 prosecution witnesses, the Defense’s presented this case
Laci was alive and well on the morning of the 24th when Scott left for work and she met with foul play outside her home that morning. There were a variety of theories pushed forward.
  1. One was that Laci was accosted when she confronted the men robbing the Medina house across the street at approximately 11:40 am on Christmas eve. This is corroborated by a witness, Diane Jackson, who saw a van in the area at that time.
  2. Another was she was attacked in the park by either a sex offender or because of her nice jewelry.
  3. The third was that Laci was abducted by a family in a brown van who used her for some type of Satanic ritual.
Mark Geragos, Scott’s million-dollar celebrity attorney said in his opening statement that he would produce witnesses who saw Laci walking that morning, witnesses who saw Scott’s empty boat, and a witness who saw a pregnant woman being pushed into a van (a man named Tom Harshman), but none of these witnesses were produced at trial.
Timeline and theories
Early on in the case the defense scored major points by showing the jury that it was likely Laci was alive on Christmas eve, which was contrary to the prosecution who tried to show that Laci died on the evening of the 23rd. The defense showed this by demonstrating that Scott watched Martha Stewart that morning, and because Scott described Laci wearing clothes witnesses saw her in that day, white shirt and black pants. They also pointed to the fact that the dog was found with a leash on and that Laci’s curling iron was out on the counter. The computer evidence such as the online shopping on the computer that morning added to this theory. Geragos also told the jury that the prosecution could not answer how Laci was murdered, when she murdered, or where she was murdered with any detail at all. All of these things made the prosecution look like bumbling idiots and the jury was impressed.
Geragos also showed that Modesto PD had not interviewed all area sex offenders in an effort to show reasonable doubt. Brocchini explained that he did not interview all sex offenders because some were so elderly, but the damage was done. In another prosecution guffaw, it was revealed that not all witnesses who saw Laci that morning were formally interviewed by the police. Modesto PD claimed that it was impossible to interview every person, but that mistake was another piece in the puzzle that showed that perhaps, the police had tunnel vision in this case.
Geragos also tried to display that the men who robbed the Medina house were good suspects. The Medinas who lived on Covena Ave. left their home at 10:32 am on Christmas eve and did not return until the afternoon of the 26th when they discovered they had been robbed. Assuming that the robbery happened on the 24th and not the 25th or 26th like the robbers later claimed, it is believed the burglary happened at about 11:40 am, after the Medinas left for the Christmas holiday. This time is corroborated by a neighbor named Diane Jackson who saw three “dark skinned but not African American” men behind a van in front of the Medinas’ home at this time. Police put out a reward for information and got a break within days.
Steven Todd and Donald Pearce were arrested for the robbery on January 2nd 2003 after trying to sell some valuables from the Medina’s home. When apprehended the first words out of Steven Todd’s mouth was “I didn’t have anything to do with the pregnant girl.” The defense has always reasoned that the police should have pursued this exclamation, but they didn’t. Both men pleaded guilty to the robbery but claimed it happened Christmas day or early on the 26th, not on the 24th. Modesto PD asserted that they cleared these men as they believed the robbery happened later, after Laci was already missing. The defense and Scott’s family believe the burglary took place on the 24th and the criminals lied about the date to distance themselves from Laci’s disappearance.
This theory was somewhat strengthened by the statement of Russell Graybill, the Petersons’ mailman. Graybill testified that when he delivered a package to the Peterson’s home between 10:35 and 10:50 am. McKenzie did not bark at him. Graybill testified at trial that McKenzie normally barked at him but he didn’t bark on Christmas eve. This was shown to “prove” that Laci was walking him at that time.
Scott supporters have touted two other pieces of evidence to prove this theory. The first piece of the evidence in this story involved the fact that in January a woman who knew the burglars pawned a Croton watch similar to the one Laci had and was presumably wearing. The problem with the watch “evidence” lies in the pawn ticket. The pawned watch is not listed as having diamonds embedded into it like Laci’s did, casting doubt onto this idea that the watch was Laci’s. The second piece of evidence is much more compelling. From scottpetersonappeal.org,
“Yet another concerning tip came from a Lt. Aponte who worked in a California prison. He called Modesto Police to report a monitored phone conversation that one of their inmates had with his brother, who lived in Modesto. The brother told the inmate that Laci had confronted the burglars who were robbing the house directly across the street from where she lived. That house was, in fact, robbed the day Laci went missing. This conversation was recorded by the prison. Not only has the Modesto Police Department never handed over any follow up on the tip from Lt. Aponte, the tape has been lost.” This is a thought-provoking piece of evidence, but I am not sure it proves anything conclusively. ​
The problems with the “Laci confronted the burglars” theory are numerous. The timeline would go something like this. Laci leashes up McKenzie who gets out and wanders in the street until found by Karen Servas at 10:18 am. Servas puts McKenzie away and then later Laci walks McKenzie through the park where she is seen by witnesses. Laci returns home, puts McKenzie away (but keeps the leash on) and takes off her shoes. She either changes clothes or later the robbers re-dress her. Then shoeless, Laci at 8 months pregnant waddles across the street and confronts either 2 or 3 male burglars without even her dog for protection. (PS the men are breaking into the home in the middle of the day). The men kill her, rob the house, change Laci into a new outfit, only a maternity bra and tan capris, and dump her in the ocean ninety miles away EXACTLY where Scott Peterson was fishing. It is also important to note that the defense did not call any witnesses who could bolster this theory except Graybill.
Another possible theory floated by Scott supporters and the defense was the idea that Laci was kidnapped while in the park. One witness, Diana Campos, who worked at a hospital that abuts the park (only three blocks from the Peterson house) remembers seeing a pregnant woman walking a Golden Retriever in the park at 10:30 am on Christmas eve. The woman was struggling to control the dog, who was barking incessantly. A man in a beanie apparently yelled at the woman “Shut that f*cking dog up!”
The problem with this theory is that both the Modesto PD and Scott’s attorneys interviewed this woman and chose to NOT call her to testify at trial. I believe if the lead was credible, the woman would have testified for the defense. Another issue is the timeline and the details of the sighting. For this sighting to work we have to ignore Karen Servas’ testimony. If this woman in the park was Laci, she must have gotten McKenzie from the yard after McKenzie escaped then walked to the park where she encountered someone who wanted to harm her. This person then would have had to return Laci’s shoes to the house, re dressed her, put McKenzie in the backyard and then dump her body in the ocean ninety miles away EXACTLY where Scott Peterson was fishing.
A third possibility was mostly pushed by Matt Dalton, an attorney who worked on Scott’s case but was fired before trial. Geragos kicked Dalton off the case because Dalton was obsessed with the idea that a satanic cult kidnapped Laci and another woman, Evelyn Hernandez. I think Geragos did not want this to be mentioned at trial and focused on other angles, but this still needs to be discussed. As mentioned above a woman was raped in Modesto in the week before Laci’s disappearance. The victim called a crisis line and reported that she had been raped by a group of people in a brown van and that the assault was part of a Satanic ritual. The abductors then told the woman that they were going to commit a Christmas murder that she would “read about in the papers.” The police found the people and van in question and processed the brown van for evidence, surprisingly no evidence of any crime was found in the van. When the police were done with the vehicle, Geragos bought the van, but he never found anything or used the van at trial- leading spectators to believe that the van held no evidentiary value.
Other proof for this theory is mostly found in Dalton’s book about the case. Matt Dalton first dreamed up this theory when went to a bar in Modesto one night where he interviewed some young locals about the goings on in Modesto. After seeing some people in skull t-shirts playing Dungeons and Dragons, Dalton asked about cult activity. The people told him that Modesto had Satanists, including a weird family who lived in a brown van. Dalton then learned that Dec. 24th is a holy day in the Satanic calendar and thus he extrapolated that Satanists did sacrifices on this day. He also discovered that May 1st, the day Evelyn was last seen was also a Satanic holiday. He soon became obsessed with this idea that Laci was abducted for a ritualistic purpose. Once Laci’s body was found Matt Dalton walked along the beach where he found some weird paintings on rocks and determined this was where rituals were taking place. (The paintings ended up being a strange art installation by a group called The Bulb.) He also found a police report that someone had reported finding a bucket of organs on the beach, but this has never been independently verified. Dalton surmised that these were Laci’s organs as she was found mostly skeletonized and had very few organs left.
Dalton is famous for connecting Laci’s case to the case of Evelyn Hernandez. This piece of evidence is talked about online extensively and is used to show that pregnant women were going missing and being found headless in San Francisco bay. While it is a strange coincidence, what documentaries and Pro Scott pundits never tell you is that Evelyn’s case has a prime suspect and it is not a serial killer or a Satanist family, it is Evelyn’s boyfriend, Herman Aguilera. This man is presumed to have killed Evelyn when she was only one week from giving birth, on May 1st 2002. As friends and family later discovered Evelyn was Herman’s “other woman.” Evelyn did not know her boyfriend was married. According to Aguilera’s family Herman did not want to deal with a pregnant mistress or want another child. Evelyn was last seen at a gas station frequented by Herman. Tragically, Evelyn’s son Alexis age 5, and her full-term baby boy, Fernando disappeared with her and have never been found.
The problem with this satanic angle is that it is far-fetched and does not explain most of the evidence. If Laci was abducted, where? Was she walking down the street in the mid-morning when some Satan worshippers happened to drive by and abduct her, put the dog in the yard, put her shoes in the house, changed her clothes and then dumped her body in ocean just where Scott Peterson was fishing? And what about Evelyn? Were these same people driving by as she and her son went to a gas station near Aguilera’s home in the middle of the afternoon? As I said this theory doesn’t hold water, but it important to explore.
Rush to judgement
Another thing focused on heavily by the defense was the idea that the Modesto PD “rushed to judgement” and wanted to nail Scott from the beginning. The defense asserted that this began with officer Evers saying that home was “suspicious” at 6 pm to his superior. Geragos and team asserted that this was improper and created tunnel vision in the department.
The Modesto police has always held that they simply followed the evidence and focused on the most likely suspect, Scott. After all it was not just Evers who thought the scene was suspicious. It was Evers, Spurlock, other patrol officers, Brocchini, Laci’s friends, Amy Rocha, Sergeant Duerfeldt, neighbor Karen Servas and others. If the Modesto PD wanted to frame someone, as sad as it is, they could have framed the Medina burglars and no one would have batted an eye. But they didn’t.
Other evidence used by the defense
Laci sightings
Approximately 12 people called the MPD to report seeing a woman who matched Laci’s description walking a dog on the morning of the 24th within one mile of the Peterson home. The prosecution called four women to the stand who were dog walkers who lived in the vicinity of the Peterson home at the time of the disappearance to account for some of these sightings. Most people saw Laci or someone who resembled her in black leggings and a white top, the same outfit she was in on her missing posters. However, when she was found she was wearing tan maternity capri pants and a maternity bra only. According to the Petersons, nine of these witnesses were never interviewed by a detective. What they don’t tell you is that a patrol officer and the DA’s investigators did some of the interviews. Nevertheless, not all people who called in with witness sightings were interviewed which helped the defense. Let’s look at these witnesses who we know about.
The people interviewed in the documentary The Murder of Laci Peterson were apparent “witnesses” who were never interviewed by the police and were not called at trial. Why? Because when Geragos interviewed them he found them to be unreliable, confused, or just wrong. Homer Maldonado claimed to have seen Laci walking the dog three times…during times she was proven to be elsewhere. Maldonado also refused to be interview by police. Because of this he was not called. Vivian Mitchell was another witness who claimed she saw Laci walking the dog on Dec. 24th. She then specified she knew exactly the time because she saw Laci during the football game on TV, but there were no football games on TV on the 24th. Vivian was also 80 years old and her husband was 84. Her husband Bill told police he did not remember ever seeing Laci. Mike Chiavetta remembered seeing a woman walking a Golden Retriever in La Loma park on the most likely 24th but said that it was a bright sunny day and the park was filled with people. It was misty and overcast on the 24th although the 23rd was bright and sunny. Scott supporters will have you believe that Laci was abducted right after the Chiavetta sighting even though Chiavetta claims the park was filled with people that day. Also, Chiavetta never reported he saw Laci, he saw a woman in a white shirt walking a Golden Retriever. When asked if she was pregnant, he said “I don’t know.” Tom Harshman is the man who saw a pregnant woman pushed into a van on the 24th of December, however police documentation says this was not reported until the 28th. In between 2 and 4 pm, he saw a woman in a red shirt and black pants urinating against a fence. There was a man standing over her and she looked scared. Then he saw a hand reach out of a van and pull the woman into the van. The tip was not investigated by the Modesto police department because they circumstance, location, and clothing did not fit. Either way Geragos interviewed many of the witness and didn’t call any of them. He said specifically he would call Harshman, but he didn’t.
Conner’s live birth and condition of the bodies
One thing that is brought up often by the defense is information brought forth by their expert that Conner was alive for one week following Laci’s disappearance. The defense believed Conner was born alive and died at a different date, or that Laci and Conner were alive after Laci was abducted. They also like to talk about twine, or tape that was wrapped around Conner’s body. Laci’s body also had trace amounts of caffeine present even though Laci gave up caffeine during her pregnancy.
Laci and Conner were found in the same area but separately on different days. Laci was badly decomposed; barnacles were on her bones and most of her organs except parts of her uterus were gone. There was a large hole in her womb from decomposition. Conner was somewhat decomposed but he was fully intact. The medical examiner thought this was because he was protected inside of Laci until her uterus decomposed expelling him into the bay. The medical examiner could find no cause of death for Laci and ruled that Conner died due to his mother’s death at approximately 33 weeks gestation. Conner seemed to be inside of Laci until shortly before he was found. The medical examiner explained to the jury that Conner most likely floated out of his mother’s abdomen due to gasses building up in her body. Additionally, his umbilical cord was torn, not cut or clamped and he had no injuries of any kind. He was not even bruised. Further, Laci’s cervix was closed indicating she had not given birth recently. The ME also explained that there was 28 cm worth of tape around Conner’s torso, head, and shoulders. It is not a nice neat bow but rather a tangled length of tape or twine. To me it actually looks like the remains of a plastic shopping bag.
The defense has always argued that this twine was wrapped around his body on purpose by someone, although they cannot explain the function of the twine. Picture here- http://pwc-sii.com/Research/connetwine.htm. (PS this is from a website called Scott is Innocent just fair warning). They also cannot explain how Conner died as he was not even bruised. On cross examination the ME admitted that it was “possible” Conner was born alive. He also admitted it was possible he had lived longer than his mother. He could not conclusively rule out those things even though they were improbable. The defense saw this as a win and brought in their own expert to testify.
Dr. March, the defense expert is not a medical examiner or a forensic pathologist; he is fertility doctor who helps couples get pregnant. Using the same methods as the ME, which involves using ultrasound pictures and measuring the baby’s femur, Dr. March determined that Conner was 33 weeks gestation, BUT he also decided that when Laci went missing, she was only 32 weeks pregnant meaning she had survived a whole week after her disappearance. How did Dr. March know this? Dr. March pushed Laci’s conception date forward six days because “women always talk about these things.” Dr. March heard that Laci attended a baby shower for a friend on June 8th and did not tell her friends that she was pregnant. Because of this he surmised that Laci must have learned about her pregnancy on June 9th meaning her conception date was the last week of May. This was the evidence used to prove Conner was alive until the end of December.
Not surprisingly March was destroyed on cross examination. He admitted he did not know about decomposition or autopsies and was not an expert in those fields. He also admitted he really had no way to know when Laci got pregnant and he was just guessing from her behavior when she got pregnant. At one point he even said during cross “Cut me some slack!” when they were grilling him. By the end of his examination he was saying “I’m sorry” and “I really don’t know” To most questions. He was not a good witness and his blunders were some of the biggest in the trial.
Concrete
The defense always held that the missing concrete in Scott’s warehouse was used to repair the driveway and not used to make anchors for Laci’s body. The prosecution brought a petrographer to the stand who testified that the cement was not the same in the driveway as it was in the anchors- they had different chemical compositions. The defense also brought an expert to the stand who testified that the concrete samples weren’t the same…but they were very similar to one another. Gebler the defense expert testified that the driveway sample could have been different because it picked up debris already on the driveway.
Boat evidence
The final evidence that is brought up by the defense was an experiment conducted by Geragos’ investigators. They bought a boat similar to Scott’s and filmed someone trying to throw a 100 lbs. object off the boat. The experiment was meant to show that the boat was too small and throwing a person off the side would capsize a boat. At trial an expert fisherman testified that in order to throw a body off a boat that size you had to do it from the back of the boat, not the side. Nevertheless, Geragos wanted his video to be admitted at trial, but it was not.
The critical thing to note here is that this video was never meant to be admitted into evidence, it was a media stunt. Geragos sent this video to the media and then placed a similar boat two blocks from the court house and invited people to see how small it was. According to a book written by the jury after the trial, Geragos did this stunt to try to distract, confuse, or accidentally bias the jury in hopes of getting a mistrial. It did not work and the trial went on. The boat also backfired on Geragos as it became a shrine to Laci and baby Conner. Here’s the defense’s video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x03H94jjDGQ.
Amber was the aggressor
One thing that Scott’s apologists will often bring up is the fact that Scott wasn't really in love with Frey and that Amber was the “aggressor” in that relationship. Some people, like Matt Dalton have said things like “Scott wouldn’t leave Laci for Amber. Laci was way more attractive!” (yes, he really made that claim). They try to show that Amber aggressively pursued Scott even when he was trying to distance himself from her. They believe that Scott’s lies to Amber such as “I will be in Maine for Christmas” were his attempts to ditch her. They also make a fuss because on Dec. 26th Amber called Scott several times on the same day which proves that she was obsessed with him. Whether or not this is the case it doesn't really matter because Scott is a grown man who could have broken it off with Amber or even ghosted her at any point but he didn't. He chose to call Amber after Laci was missing, he continued to speak to Amber, and he continued seeing Amber in person. Further, he kept lying to her hoping she would not find out about his missing pregnant wife.
Whether Amber was Scott’s soul mate, a one-night stand, or a girl he took out to lunch a few times an affair is an affair. Scott did not have to be completely and utterly in love was Amber in order for that to be a motive for him to kill his wife. In my completely amateur opinion, Scott wasn't in love with Amber at all. Scott was in love with being a player who could do whatever he wanted and wife and child was getting in the way of that lifestyle.
Scott’s history of non-violence
One interesting thing that the defense uncovered was Scott’s history of non-violence. Going through school records the defense was able to show that Scott had absolutely no history of violence. Not even a school yard fist fight. Most spouse killers have a history of domestic violence, but Scott did not. In fact, most people remember Scott as being passive in his marriage, not angry or violent.
Scott would not plead down
In “Presumed Guilty” Dalton explains that he questioned Scott extensively and asked him if something happened, such as an accident or a domestic violence situation that lead to Laci’s death. Dalton thought that if this was the case Scott could plead to a lesser charge. Scott was adamant this was not the case and insisted he had nothing to do with Laci’s demise. Scott insisted on pleading not guilty.
Brocchini’s bad testimony
One thing that aided the defense in the trial was the testimony of Al Brocchini. Brocchini made several mistakes on the stand and the defense showed that four specific parts of Brocchini’s testimony were lies. Brocchini lied about one witness who he said he contacted. He also lied (or was confused) about the times certain tips came in to the tip line. Finally, he chose not to include one witnesses (Ms. O’Donnell) statement in his reports. This damaged Brocchini’s testimony and was a win for the defense. When asked about this the jury said that this was not a good look for the state, but it wasn’t Brocchini’s testimony that convinced them that Scott was guilty, it was detective Grogan’s. And of course, Scott’s own behavior and movements that day.
Five women who were pregnant went missing
Another piece of evidence spread around by Scott apologists is the fact that five pregnant women, seven if you include Evelyn and Laci, went missing in the time around Laci’s disappearance. Additionally, it was touted that these women all went missing from Northern California and area where 15 million people reside. Five women would be an interesting coincidence if they went missing from Modesto, or even the same county, but this is not the case.
Pregnant woman heckled
In one documentary on the case a pregnant woman in Modesto claimed that on Christmas eve, 2002 when she was heavily pregnant, she was opening her shop at about 11:00 am when she was “heckled” by two men. The incident made her uncomfortable enough that she got a male co-worker who told the men to get lost. While this is an interesting piece of information it doesn’t prove anything.
Not enough time to commit the murders
Some of Scott’s supporters will tell you that Scott had no time to commit these murders because his whereabouts were known for all of the day on Christmas eve. First, this assumes Laci was killed during Scott’s timeline which obviously wasn’t going account for this. Second, it does not explore the possibility that Scott killed his wife before 8:30am on the 24th when Scott said he got up for the day.
Incompetent legal counsel
There are also some people who are concerned that Mark Geragos was incompetent as Scott’s attorney. Mark Geragos has represented Michael Jackson, Winona Ryder, Jussie Smolet, Robert Clinton, Chris Brown and many other prominent clients. In general, he argues down and makes sure his clients never land in jail but rather get counseling, probation, and community service. Geragos may be cocky, but he is far from incompetent.
Tried in the court of public opinion
You cannot talk about this case without mentioning that Scott Peterson was tried in the court of public opinion. There is no denying this and an unbiased jury was hard to compile. But if history has shown us anything it is that good attorneys can keep hated clients (OJ Simpson, Casey Anthony) out of jail. Scott’s representation was the best of the best and he was still convicted.
The jury and the rush to judgment angle
The jury actually thought about this in deliberations pretty extensively. This idea of rush to judgement was woven through the opening statement as well as Geragos’ performance in the early weeks of the trial. In those first few weeks most jurors agreed that acquittal was on the horizon. Not only did the Modesto police seem to have tunnel vision, they made some extensive mistakes, and Geragos presented information in a much more interesting and compelling way. He made big promises to show Scott as “stone cold innocent” and vowed to bring witnesses who would break the case wide open. But after months of testimony and no compelling witnesses the jury had to convict because it wasn’t about who was more entertaining to watch. It was about the fact that 1) Scott was fishing in the vicinity of Laci’s body. 2) Scott washed himself and his clothes before even calling his missing wife. 3) Scott was the last person to see Laci alive. 4) And that Scott had a means, motive, and opportunity like no one else did. Although the jury were rubbed the wrong way by Scott’s demeanor, Scott was not convicted because the jury simply thought he seemed like he was lying or had bad character.
Random Info
Who’s is supporting Scott?
Scott’s supporters are mainly women most notably his sister Susan Caudillo, and his sister in law Janey Peterson. They run several websites and blogs about the case and call themselves the SPA (Scott Peterson Appeal) team. Their websites are linked below. They have explanations for everything Scott did in this case and spew their beliefs all over the internet.
The SPA team has pushed forward other suspects besides the ones discussed at trial. Laci’s family are some of their favorite suspects. Ron Grantski, Brent Rocha, Dennis Rocha, Amber Frey, and Amy Rocha have all been mentioned as possible suspects. For example, the SPA team throws suspicion on Dennis Rocha as Dennis had “deep-seated hatred” towards Scott. How do they know this? During his victim impact statement at the end of the trial Dennis said to Scott “You always thought you were better than us.” Apparently, this shows that Dennis had the motive to kill Laci or something. I don’t know their explanations are bizarre.
Why is Scott getting an appeal and maybe a new trial?
Scott is getting an appeal and maybe a new trial for two reasons. First, Scott gets a series of appeals because he was sentenced to death. It is routine for death row inmates to get a variety of appeals before their execution. The reason that Scott is possibly getting a new trial is because of issues with the jury in the first trial. As discussed above the case was incredibly hard to get a jury for and the appeals attorney is asking for a new trial due to juror misconduct, unreliable sniffer dog evidence, and issues with dismissed jurors. Scott is NOT getting a new trial due to new evidence, poor legal representation, or corruption within the police department or DAs office.
Misconceptions
There are two major misconceptions I have seen mentioned online and I wanted to correct them here before the end of this piece. The first misconception that was spread by the media was that the Petersons’ house smelled like bleach when patrol officers first arrived. This was not true; patrol officers never reported this. The second misconception is that Diane Jackson saw the Medina home being robbed on the 24th. This is not true. Diane saw three men by a van who she thought were landscapers. She only reported this information when she learned of Laci’s disappearance later that day. Diane Jackson never saw the men robbing the house or carrying a safe to the van.
Sources:
These books are a good place to start:
Deadly game by Catherine Crier
Presumed guilty by Matt Dalton
We the Jury by the members of the jury
Blood Brother by Anne Bird
For Laci by Sharon Rocha
The Murder of Laci Peterson by Pete Dove
Because most books are anti-Scott, I also read all information on these pro Scott websites in order to be thorough.
https://www.scottpetersonappeal.org/
https://pwc-sii.com/
An interesting Psychology today article- https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/blind-injustice/201801/is-scott-peterson-innocent-part-one
If you want some laughs check out the Scott is Innocent Facebook page. There are a lot of people who think that Laci was abducted for a ritual purpose and that it has something to do with something called Pizza gate and Hollywood elites who cruise around northern CA abducting Hispanic looking women and cutting out their babies. (No, I am not kidding.)
If you want some thought provoking information about the Peterson family read this reddit post- https://www.reddit.com/ScottPetersonCase/comments/9eu7zi/peterson_family_lies/
Conclusion
After researching, reading, and exploring this case I think it is safe to say that Scott Peterson is guilty of his wife’s murder and that the doubt in this is case is not reasonable doubt at all. With that being said I do not think the media allowed for Scott to get an unbiased jury and I do think the hate spewed towards Scott’s family by the public was cruel and inappropriate, like the one bystander outside the court house who yelled at Jackie “I hope they fry your son!” However, I think if Scott gets a new trial, which he deserves, the outcome will likely be the same. What do you think, is there really doubt in the Laci Peterson case?
submitted by Quirky-Motor to UnresolvedMysteries [link] [comments]


2020.08.19 06:24 SweetsbySachiko Is my doctor into me?

Hi male friend.
So a week ago I went to a new eye doctor. I didn't really think about my outfit because it's just an appointment. Prior to the appointment I had gone on a run so when I got there I was just in basic athletic leggings and a spaghetti strap tank top with sports bra. I'm not sure if it was the outfit or that it was form fitting but I got the vibe that he was checking me out. (Although I did not see eyes wondering. We held eye contact during conversation.) We had pleasant talks about his work and weekends. He asked if I like to workout. By the end of the appointment he recommended I come again to get pictures taken of my eye.
Last Friday i came in for my photos. I feel like this could've taken a total of like 10 minutes or less. We ended up going 15 minutes past my appointment time.. I felt kinda bad for his next patient waiting since he schedules every 30 minutes. During the visit we ended up just talking the whole time while maintaing consistent eye contact. We talked about travel, working out, food, cooking. Eventually jokes and banter regarding getting famous from my first eye photos. He shared his family was from somewhere in Europe and I asked for recommendations. Since he was going to send my eye photos via email he said he could attach the list of recs with the email.
Today when I got the email he said he had all kinds of tips but didn't actually include any tips? He asked how long I wanted to take the trip for. I was thinking he could've just went the list and I would've said thanks so much! See you next year!
Is there something here? Do doctors usually date patients? I'm almost tempted to reply to the email and ask should I call you by your first name or just call you doctor...
Thoughts? Advice? Kinda just wondering what the male perspective is on this. 👫
submitted by SweetsbySachiko to AskMenAdvice [link] [comments]


2020.08.18 04:22 welcometosouthapp Welcome to South App #4: "Outside 101"

Monday, August 17th, 2020
Winston Beavers was having a very bad day.
It all began at 5 AM when his phone alarm vibrated. He rolled over on his belly and silenced it before it could wake Tai. It was the first day of class, but Winston wasn’t rising early to drink coffee and read the student newspaper. Instead, he grabbed his trusty silk tie and used it to hang his tablet from the sprinkler head. He slipped his headphones on, booted up some porn, and got straight down to business with both hands.
Now his contraption was holding on by faith and faith alone. But Winston paid no mind. He listened to Irish redheads moaning in his ear while he arched his back and curled his toes. And with each passing second, the weight of the tablet began to wear on the old, rusty sprinkler head.
So, when Winston exploded, so did that sprinkler head.
“Fuck!” Winston yelled, choking on a mouthful of rusty water. He tumbled off the top bunk, landing square on his ass. He scrambled to his feet, grabbed a binder from his desk, and rushed out the room - slipping on the puddle on his way out. Tai was already in the hallway, naked and wrapped in a wet blanket.
“What the hell, asshole?!” Tai blurted out, shivering with his laptop and backpack in each hand. “I told you not to jerk off like that!”
“Save your breath, partner,” Winston reassured him. “This here binder is the only important thing in that goddamn room.”
As water seeped into the hallway, Winston reckoned his luck had finally run out. Earlier this week, the Asheville PD had informed him that his prized Single Action Army was nowhere to be found in evidence. But he still had his precious binder, with the letters BDE inscribed on the spine. And when the water was finally shut off, Winston stuffed the binder back in his desk and made Tai pinky swear to keep it a secret.
***
A few hours later, Tai sat on the sofa in a local Asheville coffee shop with a drink and a bible in front of him.
As your wing-woman, I shall provide some friendly reminders!” Gigi cheerfully told Tai over the phone. “Make sure you’re facing the door so you can see when he comes in. Oh, and remember the order of operations: turn a page, sip your drink, make eye contact. Turn, sip, eyes!
“Uh, are you sure you know what you’re doing?” Tai whispered, as sleepy, hungover students filed in.
“I’m setting you up on an impromptu date on a Monday morning, am I not?”
“And have you run this strategy by amateur wingman extraordinaire Winston Beavers?”
Gigi paused. “Winston and I are...no longer on speaking terms. Sorry! I do not consent to any conversation about the aforementioned obnoxious brute whatsoever. Good luck!”
Gigi hung up. So Tai, who had never touched a bible, flipped to Ephesians like Gigi had coached him before. In fact, she’d planned out everything down to the last detail: the NIV version of the bible, the iced caramel macchiato, and the red and white checkerboard Vans he wore.
But Tai’s mind wandered to a more interesting book that he also had not yet read. He wanted to know what the hell was in Winston’s binder.
Suddenly, Jacky California walked into the cafe. Showtime. His 7:30 coffee break was expected. (Gigi found Jacky’s schedule on Facebook, and a quick visit to this cafe before 8 AM Intermediate Spanish just made sense.) Check. Turn, sip, eyes. Jacky waited in line, wearing a slim-fit red Abercrombie polo, bleached holy jeans, and his prized red and white checkerboard Vans. And his shoe decision, yet again, was also expected. (Gigi discovered that Jacky had only two classes on Monday, influencing his choice in that comfy pair of shoes that he wore in his profile pic). Check. Turn, sip, eyes. When Jacky stepped up to the counter, he ordered an iced caramel macchiato. And, once again, Gigi predicted this move. (Whatever the weather, Jacky’s SoCal roots virtually guaranteed an icy, watered-down coffee approach. Not to mention, nobody drinks hot coffee after sitting in the tanning bed for 30 minutes. Which, according to Gigi’s sleuthing, Jacky partook in every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.) Check. Turn, sip, eyes. Finally, while waiting for his order, Jacky pulled out his NIV study bible and flipped to the Book of Acts. (This time, Gigi was only partially off-base. His Facebook modeling photos were actually captioned with Ephesians bible verses. Nothing a quick fix couldn’t remedy). So Tai flipped straight to Acts, took a long sip of his macchiato, and made direct eye contact with Jacky as he walked over.
“Bro, this is freakin’ gnarly!” Jacky said in disbelief, pointing out their matching shoes, bible, and drink. “This is some righteous Revelation-level prophecy if I’ve ever seen it. Hey, my name’s Jacky. Is this seat ocupado?”
***
“Oh no!” Claire exclaimed, stroking Winston's fuzzy beard. “I’m, like, totally sorry about my stud’s mishap this morning!”
“Thank ya, peach pie,” Winston said, shaking his head. “I reckon they’ll move my ass to the broom closet and hang me out to dry.”
Claire and Winston were sitting in the Rec Center courtyard in athletic gear, along with several other hungover students. This was the Outdoors Adventures Seminar, AKA “Outside 101.” For many, it was a breezy way to snag the required Health and Fitness credit hour. And that's exactly why Gigi and Frank were also in this class. They sat on the opposite side of the courtyard, quietly gossipping and shooting the occasional glance their way.
“Your friends over there are, like, totally ignoring us!” Claire piped up, tugging Winston’s sleeve. “That’s, like, so rude.”
“Don’t trouble yourself, puddin’ muffin. They just ain’t ready for us yet.”
“And, like, oh my God! Ryan flat-out told me those are, like, the two people who broke into the frat house and blew up his daddy’s ashes! They are, like, total thugs. Ew!”
“Ah, my sister explained to me that it was a big misunderstanding, bundt cake,” Winston replied, feigning interest.
“Well, you should totally talk some sense to that Asian friend of yours, or else this class is gonna be, like, hella awkward,” Claire suggested. “She has, like, a salt and vinegar chip on her shoulder! It’s, like, totally not my fault that I can pull off a sports bra while she’s wearing those baggy clothes!”
True enough, Gigi and Frank had been giving them the cold shoulder ever since the frat house raid. For Frank, this was because of Winston’s affiliation with Claire Dansby and the notorious fraternity she represented. As for Gigi, it was more simple and personal: the lap dance.
“Ahoy, ladies and germs!” greeted the rugged Australian instructor, decked out in bushman’s gear. “My name is Angus, and I want to welcome ya to Outside 101. While you shop different classes, I indeed hope you’ll choose to spend your semester with us. Today is the Gauntlet Challenge, where we’ll break off into groups and compete for a mighty fine prize!”
With that, Angus hurled an ax at a target behind the students. Bullseye. Everyone stood up to clap and cheer. “Now, everybody come up front and grab yourselves a fine ole’ nametag so we know who you are!”
Winston sprung up and headed for the front of the line. Gigi stood with her back to him, her long black hair draping over her Under Armor tank top. He cleared his throat. “Howdy. Looks like we’re gonna be getting a workout in today. So hey, can I have a word with ya in private?”
She spun around, showing him a forced smile. “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t consent to this conversation.”
With that, she grabbed a nametag and wrote “Gigi.” Winston cocked his head. “So, I seem to recall Sarah telling me that you’ve got a South Korean name that only your father calls you.”
“Ah, but what’s in a name anywho?” pondered Frank, stepping forward. “Sir Winston, I wish to extend a sincere congratulations to your acceptance into the Beta Delta Epsilon Sausage Club. And to that brazen bull of a woman under your thumb. Alas, a braver man than me are you!”
Gigi narrowed her eyes at Winston. “You don’t know my real name?” she stated matter-of-factly. “Do you even know me at all?”
Frank and Gigi walked back to their seat. The hair stood up on the back of Winston’s neck. But before he could retort, two late students entered the courtyard.
“Hey, what’s up dudes and dudettes?” Jacky greeted casually. “Sorry we’re late. We couldn’t find the-"
“Hellooo everyone!” Tai greeted the class flamboyantly. “Jacky-boy, I hope you’re ready for a totally fabulous time! Ready to sweat? Oh, will you look at the sports bra on that blonde gal over here! Looks like Victoria can’t keep her secret for long. Am I right, Tai? Hey, boo-boo! Yes, you in the sports bra. You are killing it!”
Claire giggled, thanking Tai. But he and Jacky wound up sitting next to Gigi and Frank instead, introducing each other. Winston watched from afar, shaking his head. So this is how my roommate acts when he’s no longer single, he thought. Then, when no one was watching, Winston reached into his pocket and pulled out a 20-dollar bill.
“Oi, Steve Irwin,” Winston whispered to Angus, slipping him the money. “I need ya to put me and my friends together in a group.”
Winston pointed out his four friends, scribbled “BAMF” on a nametag, and walked confidently back to his seat. Then, when Gigi was watching, he gave Claire a sloppy, wet kiss.
***
“First elimination challenge is ax throwing!” Angus announced, behind the wheel of a Volkswagen VW bus. “The world’s second-oldest profession.”
Per request, Angus had formed a group out of Winston, Claire, Frank, Gigi, Tai, and Jacky. Now, he was driving them to a deserted field at the base of Mount Pisgah in the Asheville wilderness. Once they arrived, he set up a huge wooden target, then tossed Winston an ax.
“Now you look like a bloke who’s done this before!” Angus remarked.
“Hell, my daddy had to put a lock on the shed,” Winston bragged.
“Winston is, like, totally a wild man when it comes to the outdoors!” Claire chimed in. “I’m, like, super-stoked for him to totally man-handle me in the bedroom.”
The other four cringed at each other. Then, Winston reared back and hurled the ax with two hands, hitting a large ring.
“Three points!” Angus called out. “Claire, think you can conquer this beast?”
Claire stepped forward and grabbed an ax. As a former high school cheerleader, she hid some muscles under her small frame. But what surprised everybody was how she tossed hers one-handed. She hit an inner ring: a five-pointer.
“This, like, ain’t my first rodeo, cowboy!” Claire teased. She brazenly grabbed another ax and under-handed it to Gigi. She yelped, but Frank stepped in and caught it.
“My stars!” he said to Claire. “A woman so supple, yet so brazen around the edges. A fine mistress you doth make!”
Winston walked over to Gigi and gave her a puzzled look. “In the words of Richard III,” he began. “It looks Frank would trade his kingdom for a whore.”
“Um...since when have you started dabbling in Old English plays?” Gigi asked, a bit uneasy.
“Looks like you don’t know me much at all yourself.”
Gigi blushed, either enraged or embarrassed. She left him to stand next to her boyfriend. Then, Frank performed a one-handed throw, landing an inner ring.
“Five points for Shakespeare!” Angus cheered. “Let’s see if Miss Hathaway can cut the mustard.”
Before Frank handed Gigi the ax, she was already tense. He helped her hold it with two hands in a beginner’s stance. “But soft!” he said, as Gigi took aim. “Plant it straight in the heart! Just like I shall soon plant my seed in your womb.”
Flustered and distracted, she heaved the ax for an outer ring.
“Oi, only one point,” Angus declared. “Better hope our last two competitors think off target!”
Jacky grabbed an ax and faced Gigi. “Bro, your boyfriend’s a perv. And so is that chick.”
Jacky pointed straight at Claire. She giggled obnoxiously, flicking her long blonde hair. Jacky rolled his eyes. “God, please bring this lost sheep home,” he quietly prayed. He flung it from over the shoulder, missing the target completely.
“Ah, I can tell you’re fancy a boomerang by the way you throw that bugger!” Angus chuckled. “Our first elimination. Last one, come on down!”
Before Tai could grab his ax, Gigi pulled him aside. “Um, as your fellow wing-woman,” she started, “I suggest you launch the caveman hunting apparatus into the margins for the express purpose of aborting and creating a more intimate scenario with your beloved wave rider.”
Now Tai had grown a little closer with Gigi ever since she matched him up with Jacky. But all he could muster was a blank stare. Gigi leaned in closer. “Lose on purpose so you can be alone with him!” she hissed.
“Oh, got it,” Tai whispered back. “Hey, Gigi? Do ya think I can borrow your room for a bit? There’s no way Jacky can find out I live in a flooded swamp.”
Suddenly, Jacky’s ax boomerang came twirling back around, heading straight for Tai. He jumped to the side with a shriek, watching the ax fly into a tree. “Righteous!” Jacky cheered, running back to fetch it. So with that in mind, Tai took aim and tossed his ax boomerang-style. As intended, it went flying far and wide past the target.
“And Tai and Jacky have been eliminated!” Angus declared. “That means the rest of ya advance to our next challenge. And an impressive performance from the blonde bombshell and Italian stallion, I might add.”
Claire walked up to Frank and slapped his ass. “Looks like we pervs, like, totally got it going on!”
Winston and Gigi stared at each other in shock. But before they knew it, Tai’s ax boomerang came soaring back, nailing the side of Angus’ Volkswagen.
***
“FIX THE FUCKING AC,” growled Evelyn the RA in a low, demonic voice. “I WILL BURN THIS MOTHERFUCKER TO THE GROUND.”
In Sarah and Gigi’s room, Tai and Jacky had taken shelter from this emo demon, who was now stomping up and down the hallway. Sure enough, the AC was broken again. And after Tai had escorted Jacky up seven flights of stairs to “his” room, they’d found it virtually impossible to stop sweating.
“So let’s dive into Genesis 5 where we left off,” Jacky suggested, as they sat together on the futon. “It’s a little gnarly since it’s all genealogy. We’ll have to quiz each other when we’re done so we make sure we got it down pat!”
Jacky cracked open the bible, just as Evelyn screamed from the hallway. They rushed to the door and peeked out. Evelyn had let down her jet-black hair and had smeared mascara on her, sweating pale face. She locked eyes with the two young men. “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?” the demon within her tremored.
They quickly shut the door and got back to their bible study. “Well...anyway, this is the written account of Adam’s family line,” Jacky read. “Basically, this is gonna be a righteous heck-ton of funky names to remember. My youth pastor showed me an easy way to memorize them, where-”
Death metal blared in the hallway. Over the heavy muted guitar and the rapid-fire double bass, Evelyn released a primal roar.
“So yeah, an easy way to memorize the names is word association!” the sweating Jacky yelled over the screeching guitar solo. “For example, take Adam and Seth, who-”
“EVERYBODY BREAK SHIT,” Evelyn screamed, as the deafening breakdown began. Tai rushed to the door and peeked out again. This time, she was breaking off a long fluorescent light tube from the ceiling. Several of her female hallmates observed like visitors at a zoo. Evelyn reared back and smashed the wall, shattering the light into pieces.
“All right, bro,” Jacky finally sighed, shutting the bible and standing up. “Look, let’s just go to your actual room.”
“W-what?” Tai stuttered, closing the door.
“Come on brochacho,” Jacky said, slicking back his long blonde hair. “You think I didn’t catch on? There are the female girls in the hallway with the female devil incarnate. Not to mention the…dreadful taste in bedroom decor in whoever’s room this is. Come on, man. I wanna see the real you.”
They stared into each other's' cool grey eyes. Finally, Tai nodded and reached out to shake on it. Instead, Jacky held his hand and interlocked his fingers. They sneaked out into the hallway, and Jacky led the way to Tai’s room.
“H-how do you know where we’re going?” Tai asked.
“I’m your mailman,” Jacky answered, giving his hand a squeeze. “I know a lot more about you than you think. Heck, don’t even get me started on your roommate’s male enhancement subscription.”
As they descended the stairs, a herd of female students tried to restrain the spawn of Satan in the hall.
***
“Next up is the zip-line races!” Angus announced.
He drove the four competitors deep into the Pisgah National Forest with the ax still lodged in the van. He slowed to a stop in a green, tranquil meadow where sunlight peeked through the treetops. There, two huge zip-lines ran from the tops of starting platforms, all the way to a platform on the far side of the clearing.
Angus passed out a few safety harnesses, and everyone suited up. “Mine’s, like, a little too big!” Claire whined. “Gigi, you should totally trade with me since you have a tad more cushion for the pushin’! Hey, at least your boobs are smaller than mine! That, like, must be so convenient.”
Gigi ignored her, hooking herself to the lane behind Winston. Claire attached herself to the lane behind Frank. And Angus began the long walk toward the finish line platform. Now out of earshot, both groups began climbing the long rope ladders up to their platforms. Winston purposefully took his time. Halfway up the ladder, Winston stopped and looked down at Gigi.
“Hey, I know I’m being stubborn,” Winston said. “But I really wanna talk to you, if you’ll have me. Just give me a chance to explain-"
“She’s a total bitch!” Gigi hissed, surprising even herself. “If you’re dating her, we’re no longer friends.”
Frustrated and torn, Winston sighed. “Right. I reckon actions speak louder than words anyway.” He reached into his shorts pocket and pulled out a mini can of WD-40. Then, he proceeded to spray the shit out of both of their zip-line hooks.
“W-what the hell is wrong with you?” Gigi exclaimed, choking on the fumes.
“WD-40 is God’s lubricant,” Winston explained. “Now we’ll have a little speed boost when we race ‘em. Sorry, buddy, but I need us both to win so we have some alone time to sort things out.”
“You’re being absolutely ridiculous!” Gigi said, flabbergasted.
“I realize that. So I reckon I’ll make you an offer. When it’s me versus you at the finals, I’ll let you win so you get the Lazy Basil gift card. Deal?”
Suddenly, Gigi’s big, brown eyes shot open and her countenance sang a different tune. Lazy Basil was the finest Italian restaurant in all of Asheville - maybe all of North Carolina. And Frank would not be cooking her an Italian dinner until this Friday. After tasting a little bit of chocolate every day to prepare her body for cheese, she could not wait a day longer.
“Pray tell!” Frank suddenly yelled, looking down from his platform at the stragglers. “Art thou stuck on the ladder, Sir Winston? Mayhaps we require usage of a construction crane to haul up your portly frame.”
Winston grunted, then spat on the ground. “So what was that you were saying about my girlfriend being a bitch?” Winston asked Gigi.
Reaching the top of the ladder, Winston and Gigi stepped onto the platform. A perfect view of the bright green hemlock trees of the Pisgah National Forest. From the finish line platform, Angus pumped his fist. “Let’s get these wagon wheels a’rollin’!” his voice echoed across the forest. “Fellas up first!”
Winston made the mistake of looking down at the endless ocean of treetops. Stomach lurching, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Then, hands trembling, he moved his greased-up zip-line hook to the starting position.
Gigi tapped his shoulder. “Are you...afraid of heights?” she asked, more like a mother than a caring friend.
A sudden breeze caused their platform to sway ever-so-slightly. Winston hunched over and vomited his morning screwdriver into a nest of endangered birds. He wiped his mouth and looked up at Frank’s shit-eating grin. Winston simultaneously flicked him off while giving Angus a thumbs up.
“Ah, we’ve got ourselves a fighter!” Angus called out. “Ready. Set. Go!”
Winston and Frank kicked off their platforms, soaring over the forest. Sure enough, his WD-40 hack gave him the extra acceleration he needed. He held a clear lead over Frank as Angus’ platform grew closer and closer. Not even Frank’s Italian expletives could stop him.
“Wiiinston wins!” Angus cheered, as Winston whizzed up to the platform. And only a split-second later, Frank came in hot, landing gracefully.
“I underestimated thy aerodynamic stature!” Frank admitted. “Mayhaps I too require an uptick in fine American cuisine, say steak and potatoes?”
Back at the starting line, Gigi grabbed her hook and slid it into a starting position. She looked up at her hands, now slick with grease.
“I’m, like, totally sorry about being so rude earlier,” Claire said, making a pouting face. “Look, if you let me win, you get to leave class early with Frank, and I can have the gift card! And not to be totally awkward, but I think you could, like, have a super-hot figure without that Italian food in your diet.”
Two minutes later.
“Gigi wins!” Angus cheered, as she came careening to the finish line. A split second later, Claire came flying by - seething.
“Like, it’s totally not fair!” Claire cried, stomping her feet. “Gigi, like, totally called me a hashtag raging thundercunt! It, like-like-like-like-like, totally distracted me from the race!” Again, more crocodile tears while Claire buried her face in Winston’s shoulder.
“Woe is me!” Frank cried out, grabbing her shoulders. “Oh, the humanity! Alas, say you did no such thing!”
“There, there,” Winston said nonchalantly, patting Claire’s head like a dog. “I’m sure it ain’t that serious.”
Angus covered his mouth. “Oi, Miss Gigi: did you in fact call Lady Claire a raging thundercunt?”
Gigi politely crossed her hands in front of her waist, her messy black hair cascading over her pale face. And then: a tell-all smile.
“Well, you know we handle potty-mouths in Australia, right?” Angus asked. “We fuckin’ celebrate ‘em! And as for sore losers? We make ‘em walk the plank!”
Angus shoved Claire and Frank off the platform. They screamed until the cable pulled taut, leaving them dangling in midair.
“Congratulations, ya raging thundercunts!” Angus said to Winston and Gigi. “Now off to the finals we go. And doncha’ worry, ya blimey losers. My teaching assistant will come get ya down and give ya a comfy ride straight back to campus!”
Winston and Gigi climbed down the ladder and followed Angus out of the woods, leaving Frank and Claire as dinner for vultures. When the two were alone, Claire kicked off her tennis shoes and stretched out, showing off her flat stomach.
“I, like, always thought I had sex in every possible position!” Claire reflected. “Well, except for the Amazon position, since my fraternity forbids it. Awwwkward! But I’ve, like, totally never had sex in midair. Should we try it, Frank?”
***
It was a manic scene in the 700 Hall of Firewater. Hesitant to get the police involved, Evelyn’s roommates were in the process of summoning a Catholic priest to perform an exorcism. But she was no longer Tai and Jacky’s concern. The muffled screams, crashes, and bangs faded in the distance as the two guys entered the 300 Hall.
“We’re actually...not supposed to be here,” Tai cautioned, placing his hand on the doorknob to his room.
“How come, brotherman?” Jacky asked.
“It’s my roommate: Winston. There’s something in there that he doesn’t want me to know about. And he made me promise to not even let any visitors in our room.”
“So did he get it in writing, with a notary standing by?” Jacky joked.
“Pinky swear,” Tai corrected.
“Far out,” Jacky marveled. “That’s some next-level serious business.” Jacky chuckled, slicking his hair back. “So let me ask this about your roommate: would he rather us be in your room, or his sister’s room?”
Tai froze. Finally, he unlocked the door. “Touché.”
The mildew hit them like a freight train. The mattresses, rug, and futon cushion were all gone. Besides that, Jacky was standing in a typical college dorm. A football schedule and Megan Fox poster on Winston’s side. Video game and anime posters on Tai’s side. A dirty microwave and a mini-fridge, probably filled with light beer and leftover Chinese takeout.
Tai sat on the metal futon frame and patted the spot next to him. “So, what if we used flashcards to memorize some of those biblical names? It’s important for me to - WHAAA-!”
Jacky was frantically searching through Winston’s drawers. “Bingo, my man!” He held up the binder and read the spine. “What’s BDE anyway? Does it stand for big...uh, big-penis energy? Sounds like your roomie has some gnarly ego issues.”
Distracting himself, Tai opened the bible in his trembling hands. “So...uh...there’s Shem...Ham...and Japeth, the three sons of-”
Jacky plopped down next to Tai and opened the binder. “Dude! Do you know what this is?”
Tai looked down at pages upon pages of driver’s licenses in card sleeves. Every race, creed, and gender under the sun. And all featured photos that could pass for any young-looking 21-year-old.
Tai and Jacky had just uncovered Beta Delta Epsilon’s secret fake ID operation. Jacky searched through a few pages, and finally pulled out an ID that could pass for Tai. He removed it from the sleeve and placed it in Tai’s shaking hand. Then, he sat on his lap and held up an ID of a tan white guy with blonde hair. “I don’t wanna talk about Shem and Ham, my dude,” Jacky declared. “I wanna talk about our new legal names: Caleb and Demitri.”
“Ah, now I have an actual black guy’s name,” Tai chuckled, forcing a smirk. Suddenly, he slipped his hand up Jacky’s shirt, feeling his rock-hard abs. “I, uh...so do you want to roleplay...Caleb?”
“Not just roleplay, my dude,” Jacky whispered into Tai’s ear, nuzzling his cheek. “I want to help other people roleplay. Dude! What if we stole these fake ID’s and sold them to every underage student on campus? Think of how freaking righteous that money would be!” Tai’s heart raced as Jacky swung his legs over Tai’s waist, straddling him. Jacky ran his lips from his collarbone to his ear.
“That’s...illegal,” Tai moaned softly. “Not to mention a little ungodly.”
“Maybe so,” Jacky said, nibbling his ear. “But I follow God, not the world. Some people don’t know the difference.
“Caleb” and “Dimitri” rolled off the futon, kissing, biting, and scratching each other until the clothes flew off. And little did they know Evelyn was scouring the 300 Hall with a chef’s knife in her hand, searching for them.
***
“The grand finale!” Angus announced. “The rock climbing wall!”
Angus led Winston and Gigi to a huge rock wall on the face of the Pisgah Mountains. This time, there was no cheat code in the world that would work in Winston’s favor. While his upper-body strength toppled that of Gigi, he was simply hauling a much larger load.
“The rumors are true!” Angus chuckled. “There is a 50-dollar Lazy Basil gift card up for grabs for the first one to reach the top.”
He strapped Winston and Gigi to the climbing cables, then took a step back. The trembling Winston glanced over at the cool, confident Gigi. “It looks like it’s just me and you, buddy,” he said. “So, do ya reckon you can tell me what I can do to make things right?”
“Go, go, go!” Angus suddenly shouted.
Gigi, quick and nimble, jumped straight up and grabbed her first hold. With ease, she began traversing the wall like an orangutan. Winston chugged along, contorting his body in awkward positions just to keep from falling.
“Look, Gigi!” Winston called out. “I hate that it’s like this between us. Man, I just wanna know what I can do. Hell, you can have my purple V-neck shirt that you accidentally stole.”
No response still. She worked swiftly and calmly as she approached the halfway point. Winston caught a lucky break, catching some easy holds as he covered a few feet. But there was no way in hell he could match Gigi’s steady pace. Plus, the higher he got, the higher the screwdriver rose in his throat.
Desperate, Winston reached around with one hand and unstrapped his vest.
“Oi, what the fuck are ya doing, mate?” Angus spat from far down below. Winston slipped out of the vest and pushed it to the side. Now, he was climbing freely. Fear coursed through his veins, but so did adrenaline. He used that stress to heave himself up much faster than before. Gigi, now past the halfway point, looked down to see Winston’s pleading eyes looking up at her.
“Gigi, I’m sorry!” Winston yelled. “Look, I...I can’t honestly tell you that I’m sorry for meeting up with Claire at the house. Because I’m not. But fuck, I’m sorry you had to walk in and see it! And...I’m plum-fuckin’ sorry I didn’t consider your feelings for me at the time. I reckon that ship has sailed. But fuck, I don’t wanna lose our friendship over it, Gigi!”
Gigi smiled at Winston for the first time that day. She shut her eyes tightly, fighting to block the tears. When she opened them again, Winston’s white knuckles curled around a tough hold.
“I’m not sure how long I can hold on, partner,” Winston groaned, smiling weakly. Slowly, piss began running down his leg, trickling a long way down to the ground below. Gigi began quickly backtracking, holding her breath.
“Winston,” Gigi consoled him calmly, now by his side. “I need you...I need you to reach out and hold me. Don’t let me go.”
He took a deep breath, then wrapped his arms around Gigi’s slim waist. His legs dangled free, supported only by her. Breathing heavily, Gigi kicked off the rock facing. Slowly, they began to descend.
“My real name is Ji-hye,” she said, as they approached solid ground.
“Ji-hye,” Winston repeated, his heart pounding as he held her in a death grip. “So, uh...why did you wanna tell me that?”
“Um...because we’re friends again!” she cheered, as they reached the bottom.
But before he could release her, Angus yanked his collar and held a hunting knife to his throat. His hair and face were drenched in Winston’s piss. “Oi, I oughta gut you like a fuckin’ fish, ya blimey bastard!”
“Wait, it’s not his fault!” Gigi interjected. “Um...a yellowjacket got caught between his shirt and vest and stung him pretty bad. He’s allergic, so he had no choice but to take it off!”
Angus cocked his head, letting her words marinate like the piss in his hair. Then, a proper belly laugh. He gave Winston a shove and put the knife away. “Yellowjackets?! Why, you Americans and bonafide pussies, that’s what ya are! Oi, you wouldn’t last a second down unda!”
Angus reached in his pocket and pulled out two 50-dollar Lazy Basil gift cards. “Fuck it, take ‘em both. After all, that was a mighty impressive showing of teamwork up there!”
Winston cleared his throat and held his hand up. “Thanks for the offer, Angus. But I’m a proud conservative. And I don’t need no goddamn participation trophies.”
Gigi socked him in the stomach. “Accept the gift card or we’re no longer friends!” she hissed, salivating over her imminent cheese dream.
***
“YOU HAVE SOMETHING I WANT,” the demon growled in the hallway.
Evelyn slowly dragged her chef’s knife across the door of Room 309 - a knife much larger than Angus’. Tai stared out the peephole, then rushed to the futon to grab his bible.
“We need to perform an exorcism ourselves!” Tai suggested, wearing nothing but bright blue boxers with coconut patterns.
“RIghteous idea, my man!” Jacky replied, donning yellow pineapple briefs. “The word of God is an indispensable weapon during the end times that we live in!”
Tai stared out the peephole again. Now, a senile Evelyn gently tapped the door with the tip of her knife. “Hey, uh, Evelyn,” Tai called out softly. “Why don’t we comb through Genesis together? I sure could use your help in memorizing the lineage of Adam!”
“NO BIBLE. I WILL STRANGLE YOU WITH YOUR INTESTINES!”
Jacky gave a thumbs up from the frame of the futon. “See, it’s working! That’s the devil in her trying to resist. But no man, woman, or spawn of Satan could possibly resist the righteous infallible word of God!”
Tai chuckled, half-nervous and half-relieved. Then, he opened the door halfway. “Welcome to our bible study, Evelyn! So if you would have a seat on our super comfy futon, we can-"
Suddenly, Tai lept behind the door as Evelyn charged through the room with her knife held high. “DIE! DIE! DIE!” she shrieked, heading straight for Jacky. He swiftly rolled under the futon frame, as Evelyn began stabbing through it, aiming for the head.
“Fuck!” Tai screamed, frantically flipping to Genesis 5. “Um, um...let the power of Christ compel you with His holy word! Enoch begat Methuselah, and Methuselah begat Lamech, and Lamech begat Noah!”
“WHY CAN’T I HAVE WHAT YOU HAVE?” Evelyn screamed. While Jacky cowered in a fetal position, she reared back and stabbed a hole in the wall.
“Oh, Evelyyyn?” Sarah Beavers called out, stepping into the room.
Evelyn spun around to face her, tears and mascara running down her face. She dropped the knife. Then, she swiveled her head around the room, dazed and confused.
“Oh...no,” Evelyn whispered in her normal voice. “Sarah, I did something bad, didn’t I?”
“Shush, it’s all gravy,” Sarah assured her, while Tai and Jacky looked at each other in shock. “Boys, let this be a lesson to you. Envy possessed Evelyn today. Not only was she envious of your AC, but also of your totally-rad same-sex relationship.”
Tai and Jacky realized they were still half-naked, and that it was too late to hide it. Evelyn, moaning softly, crawled over to Sarah and lay her head on her lap. Then, she began playing with Sarah’s dangling dreadlocks. “Now, now - no touchy-feely of the genitals,” Sarah politely warned her. “An asexual chick like myself ain’t no lamp in a corner, ya dig?”
Then, Sarah spotted the BDE binder on Tai’s desk. Cocking her head to the side, she slowly stood up to take a closer look.
“Shit,” Tai whispered to Jacky. “What do we do?”
“We can’t let her know about our operation,” Jacky whispered back.
“So, if my inner chi serves me well,” Sarah began, flipping through the pages. “You two plan on stealing Beta Delta Epsilon's fake ID collection from Winston, in a grand scheme to sell them to underage students?”
“What in the H-E-double-hockey-sticks?” Jacky whispered to Tai. “A psychic hippie? What kind of friends are you rolling with, bro?”
“I can hear you,” Sarah advised. She sat down next to Evelyn and slipped out an ID of a brunette hipster girl with straight hair. “It’s a crying shame that Winston didn’t think to include any white girls with dreadlocks. Simple-minded if you ask me. Oh! Evelyn, I found an ID just for you. See, she looks just like the chick from The Ring.”
“I will eat your soul,” Evelyn said in her normal voice. Suddenly, she pinned Sarah down and started tickling the hell out of her.
“Wait, so you’re not mad?” Tai asked Sarah, watching Evelyn win the completely non-sexual “game.”
Sarah caught her breath from her massive tickle-fit. Then, she snapped the binder shut. “Mad? Are you high? I’m a broke college student too. As a matter of fact, if you’re going to be making crazy money, I want in on it too. Evelyn and I both want in. And nobody, I mean nobody, breathes a word of this to my brother.”
***
Nine outgoing calls. Zero incoming calls.
Gigi slipped her phone back into her purse, fighting the urge to make it 10. On that windy night, she stood in downtown Asheville in front of Lazy Basil, waiting for Frank to fall from the sky. She was dressed up in a black polka-dot maxi dress with a white bow in her hair, knowing that she would be turned away for so much as thinking about blue jeans.
She grabbed a menu and read through the appetizers. Tempura Fried Calamari? Maybe. Chunky Spinach and Artichoke Dip? Eh. And then, her big brown eyes widened when she saw it. Caprese salad: fresh buffalo mozzarella topped with local organic tomatoes, balsamic vinegar, and fresh basil leaves from our herb garden.
“So he stood ya up, huh?”
Winston leaned against the streetlight in a black suit and tie. He took a final puff on his cigar, tossed it, then walked over to Gigi to read her menu. And like always, the smell of tobacco was masked by Winston’s signature sandalwood cologne.
“I can’t decide if I want the loaded macaroni and cheese,” Winston pondered, “or the fried cheese logs with marinara. Hey, ya reckon we could order one of each and share?”
Gigi wiped drool from the side of her mouth and came to her senses. “Um...wait, you’re not here for a date with Claire?”
Winston took out his phone and showed her the screen. Sixty-eight outgoing calls. Zero incoming calls. “Reckon I should try to call her one last time?” he asked with a grin. “I mean, I don’t wanna come off like a simp or nothin’.”
Fifteen minutes later, they were seated at a candlelit table for two. While they sipped on large glasses of red Moscato, Gigi explained her lactose intolerance and Frank’s plans to introduce her to cheese for the first time.
“So let me get this straight,” Winston said, leaning in. “You consider this cheating on your boyfriend, don’t you?”
“Um...well, it has nothing to do with you!” Gigi laughed nervously. “It’s...well, it’s cheating if I eat that.”
The waiter came over with a platter of Caprese salad and a refill of red wine. Winston picked up a soft, fluffy cheese disc and tore it in half. “I’m not a betting man. But I wager if your boyfriend wanted to have dinner with you, he’d be the one sitting across from ya.”
Gigi stared into Winston’s pale blue eyes, then at the mozzarella. Slowly, she reached out and placed it on her tongue. Then, she closed her eyes as the creamy, silky flavor graced her palate. She swallowed, then grabbed another, shoving the whole disc in her mouth. Satisfied, Winston pushed the plate toward her. Then, he took out his phone and turned on the camera.
“Here’s to Gigi’s first dairy experience,” he announced, taking a photo. “And, I reckon, the moment before one of her many trips to the bathroom.”
She gasped, tossing her dinner napkin at him. They laughed, garnering the attention of a couple of older, quieter patrons. But Winston and Gigi lived in their own world, sipping refill after refill of wine as she alone cleaned that plate. Before long, the waiter returned with fried mozzarella logs for Winston and loaded macaroni and cheese for Gigi.
“So, all jokes aside,” Gigi started. She leaned forward, the candlelight casting a golden glow on her grinning, pale face. “In your old YouTube days...how long would it take you to eat everything on this table?”
“Son of a bitch!” Winston laughed, dunking a log into his marinara. “I knew my sister told ya about my eating channel! How much of it did you get around to watching?”
“Oh, you don’t want to know!” Gigi giggled, taking her first-ever bite of mac and cheese.
And while the two loyal friends shared stories and cheese dishes, their other friends betrayed loyalty that night. Sarah, Tai, Evelyn, and Jacky used Winston’s fake IDs to bar crawl all over downtown Asheville. And Claire sneaked Frank into the Beta Delta Epsilon frat house, where they rolled in the sheets all night long.
submitted by welcometosouthapp to welcometosouthapp [link] [comments]


2020.08.13 10:45 lf0854266 Relationship advice for not out trans gf!!

Hi sorry it’s my first time posting so sorry if I do something wrong!!
So my partner (19 mtf) (sounds weirdly official) is trans but not really out at all. I still call him my boyfriend most of the time, because that’s what he’s most comfortable with rn (but I’ve said I’m happy to change that as and when he wants). He’s told his parents, who are supportive, and me, before we started dating, and a handful of close friends (maybe like 3 or 4). Basically looking for advice/tips on how to navigate this as this is my (f) first time being close with someone who’s trans. It’s also a bit of a grey area as he hasn’t really started transitioning yet.
If he wanted to transition or even start using different pronouns/dressing differently I would be 100% supportive of him, and he knows this. A few times I’ve referred to him as a girl, and he seems to like that, but I’m also conscious of not wanting to like draw attention to his gender identity too much because he doesn’t like talking about it that often. I obviously don’t want him to feel like I’m pressuring him into accepting a more female identity, he’s only ever referred to himself as a girl to me once. On the other hand, he’s identified as trans since at least the age of 17 I think, and that hasn’t changed. When we’ve just been in my room I’ve done his makeup a couple of times, and he’s tried on my bras (but I have pretty large breasts so they’re not a good fit at all), but apart from that he hasn’t done anything else related to changing his gender identity. I just graduated and he still has a year of uni left, and 90% of his uni friends don’t know, for example. Sometimes I worry that I’m not being gender affirming enough, but other times I worry that by calling him ‘pretty’ or a ‘girl’ is going further than he does himself.
Not entirely sure what the question is but more just looking for advice for when your partner is trans but not transitioning yet
submitted by lf0854266 to asktransgender [link] [comments]


2020.08.09 20:19 HelHeals #28. Ventura County Jane Doe; California, USA; unidentified woman for 40 years

Hello. I keep a personal digital "diary" of Jane/John Doe cases. I've decided to start posting them. This is case number 28. I try to keep them as concise as possible. If you have any tips on how to make it better or subreddits where I can post it, PM me or leave it below. At the bottom of the post I have the current subreddits I post these on, and my other cases. Case suggested by u/jeffsanders445.


  1. Reconstruction by Carl Koppelman
  2. Reconstruction by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children
  3. Mortuary photograph
  4. Crime scene photo

Notes:

Ruled out: Melanie Flynn.

Currently posting on the following subreddits:
Follow this link for the index of the cases so far, and a FAQ section.
submitted by HelHeals to RBI [link] [comments]


2020.08.09 20:19 HelHeals #28. Ventura County Jane Doe; California, USA; unidentified woman for 40 years

Hello. I keep a personal digital "diary" of Jane/John Doe cases. I've decided to start posting them. This is case number 28. I try to keep them as concise as possible. If you have any tips on how to make it better or subreddits where I can post it, PM me or leave it below. At the bottom of the post I have the current subreddits I post these on, and my other cases. Case suggested by u/jeffsanders445.


  1. Reconstruction by Carl Koppelman
  2. Reconstruction by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children
  3. Mortuary photograph
  4. Crime scene photo

Notes:

Ruled out: Melanie Flynn.

Currently posting on the following subreddits:
Follow this link for the index of the cases so far, and a FAQ section.
submitted by HelHeals to gratefuldoe [link] [comments]


2020.08.09 20:19 HelHeals #28. Ventura County Jane Doe; California, USA; unidentified woman for 40 years

Hello. I keep a personal digital "diary" of Jane/John Doe cases. I've decided to start posting them. This is case number 28. I try to keep them as concise as possible. If you have any tips on how to make it better or subreddits where I can post it, PM me or leave it below. At the bottom of the post I have the current subreddits I post these on, and my other cases. Case suggested by u/jeffsanders445.


  1. Reconstruction by Carl Koppelman
  2. Reconstruction by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children
  3. Mortuary photograph
  4. Crime scene photo

Notes:

Ruled out: Melanie Flynn.

Currently posting on the following subreddits:
Follow this link for the index of the cases so far, and a FAQ section.
submitted by HelHeals to UnresolvedMysteries [link] [comments]


2020.08.09 20:19 HelHeals #28. Ventura County Jane Doe; California, USA; unidentified woman for 40 years

Hello. I keep a personal digital "diary" of Jane/John Doe cases. I've decided to start posting them. This is case number 28. I try to keep them as concise as possible. If you have any tips on how to make it better or subreddits where I can post it, PM me or leave it below. At the bottom of the post I have the current subreddits I post these on, and my other cases. Case suggested by u/jeffsanders445.


  1. Reconstruction by Carl Koppelman
  2. Reconstruction by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children
  3. Mortuary photograph
  4. Crime scene photo

Notes:

Ruled out: Melanie Flynn.

Currently posting on the following subreddits:
Follow this link for the index of the cases so far, and a FAQ section.
submitted by HelHeals to TrueCrime [link] [comments]


2020.08.09 20:19 HelHeals #28. Ventura County Jane Doe; California, USA; unidentified woman for 40 years

Hello. I keep a personal digital "diary" of Jane/John Doe cases. I've decided to start posting them. This is case number 28. I try to keep them as concise as possible. If you have any tips on how to make it better or subreddits where I can post it, PM me or leave it below. At the bottom of the post I have the current subreddits I post these on, and my other cases. Case suggested by u/jeffsanders445.


  1. Reconstruction by Carl Koppelman
  2. Reconstruction by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children
  3. Mortuary photograph
  4. Crime scene photo

Notes:

Ruled out: Melanie Flynn.

Currently posting on the following subreddits:
Follow this link for the index of the cases so far, and a FAQ section.
submitted by HelHeals to RedditCrimeCommunity [link] [comments]


2020.08.09 20:19 HelHeals #28. Ventura County Jane Doe; California, USA; unidentified woman for 40 years

Hello. I keep a personal digital "diary" of Jane/John Doe cases. I've decided to start posting them. This is case number 28. I try to keep them as concise as possible. If you have any tips on how to make it better or subreddits where I can post it, PM me or leave it below. At the bottom of the post I have the current subreddits I post these on, and my other cases. Case suggested by u/jeffsanders445.


  1. Reconstruction by Carl Koppelman
  2. Reconstruction by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children
  3. Mortuary photograph
  4. Crime scene photo

Notes:

Ruled out: Melanie Flynn.

Currently posting on the following subreddits:
Follow this link for the index of the cases so far, and a FAQ section.
submitted by HelHeals to coldcases [link] [comments]


2020.08.09 20:19 HelHeals #28. Ventura County Jane Doe; California, USA; unidentified woman for 40 years

Hello. I keep a personal digital "diary" of Jane/John Doe cases. I've decided to start posting them. This is case number 28. I try to keep them as concise as possible. If you have any tips on how to make it better or subreddits where I can post it, PM me or leave it below. At the bottom of the post I have the current subreddits I post these on, and my other cases. Case suggested by u/jeffsanders445.


  1. Reconstruction by Carl Koppelman
  2. Reconstruction by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children
  3. Mortuary photograph
  4. Crime scene photo

Notes:

Ruled out: Melanie Flynn.

Currently posting on the following subreddits:
Follow this link for the index of the cases so far, and a FAQ section.
submitted by HelHeals to SavetheNextGirl [link] [comments]


2020.08.02 23:29 storstore Star Wars Story

There's not gonna be italics because reddit formatting is really frustrating 🙄. Sorry about that.
I watched her from my table. Even looking at her, it was obvious she was deadly. The funny thing was—she thought she was being incognito. She wore the most stereotypical long jacket to hide whatever weaponry she was wielding with a thick black hood. I’d regretted my decision to approach her even as I flagged down the bartender to get her a drink.
“Hey, you look like—“ I began.
“Fuck off,” she returned.
She took the drink I’d purchased for her and swallowed it. The woman had a lot of pent up frustration. I not-so-secretly hoped I could help with that later. The bartender held my gaze and I reluctantly tipped my chit to him. He nodded as a few credits drained from my account.
“Like it?” I asked.
“Still talking. Stop,” she ordered.
“I get that you’re not really interested in what I have to say, but you should—”
“If you don’t leave in five seconds, so help—”
“Is that a saber on your belt or are you just happy to see me?” I asked.
Her face turned, just slightly, to face mine. I was dumbstruck. Her chiseled features were much more beautiful than I was expecting. I knew she was tough, everyone in the dim cantina did, but I didn’t expect to be so—distracted. I cleared my thoughts and leaned in close.
“So I—”
“You will forget everything you’ve seen about me,” she whispered directly into my ear. “I’m unarmed and just a woman who wants to be left alone. You will get up and leave the bar now.”
My leg twitched as though summoned up by an ethereal puppetmaster. I winced and flexed my jaw.
“Okay, rude,” I groaned. “I just want to talk.”
Her face changed to one of concern. The woman had clearly relied on her natural affinity with the force for far too long. I watched her fingers approach me.
“Maybe we got off on the wrong foot,” she purred. “My name’s Fenn.”
No, it’s not, I thought to myself, but humored her anyway.
“Fenn, don’t kill me yet. Hear me out, okay?”
She raised an eyebrow. She didn’t like being in the passenger seat. She’d probably hate me, at least for the time being.
“I’m going to kiss your neck now, sexy,” I purred. “You know you want it.”
Rage flooded her face. She looked ready to tear me to bits, but I gambled that her exceptional reflexes would notice my subtle eye movement to the right. I hoped not to lose my dick as I brushed away her hazelnut-colored hair and leaned in close.
She had to see him. The Twi’lek with the bounty beacon placed on the table like a dumbass. I whispered a prayer to the non-existent gods as my lips met her neck. She was warm, delicious, unshowered, but somehow still sexy. She gasped as I whispered into her ear while nibbling her earlobe.
“Two at the door, six at tables behind you, two behind me, and a crew of New Republic assassins on their way.”
I felt her whole body tense.
Her lips met my chest as she licked up toward my face and thrust her tongue into my ear. Now I was wielding a saber too.
“And you don’t want me, too?” she asked.
“I wouldn’t say that,” I chuckled.
“Shut up. I—”
She was just as fast as I’d imagined she’d be.
She yanked my head back by the hair and a blaster bolt impacted the bar where my skull had been moments prior. At the same time, she gestured toward the front door and the concealed ancient weapon at her hip went flying toward the pig-like monster. It wooshed to a bright purple glow mid-flight and embedded itself in the guard’s neck as the whole quiet sleepy cantina seemed to erupt into gunfire.
I leapt behind the bar alongside her and watched the droid bartender march calmly toward the back, seeming to think “ugh, Thursdays.”
The wood and metal began to chip away and glow as pistols, rifles, and every other type of blaster a bounty hunter could think to carry began angrily chattering and beeping. The tone was almost musical. I grabbed a detonator from my belt and took a deep breath.
“Flash-stunner,” I mouthed.
She nodded as her lightsaber flew through the disintegrating bar skeleton and returned to her hand.
I counted to three, and then lobbed it over my head.
“Grenade!” was yelled in about a dozen different languages just before the blinding flash and accompanying shockwave boom. Our cover was wiped out by the blast, so we both took our chance. I ducked left while she leapt right. I couldn’t focus on the colorful ripostes and flourishes on that side of the room. I threw up one of the still-standing metal drink tables that was no wider than a buckler. I slid along the floor with it and fired a few green bolts from my multi-shot disruptor. The unlucky targets fizzled and disintegrated as spent rounds popped out the side of the gun. I took aim in my left hand with my blaster pistol and fired six quick shots into the other Gamorrean who gurgled and groaned before falling to his knees, spittle spraying from his mouth to the floor. I was smiling. By my count, all my targets were dead, leaving—
I looked behind me to see that goddamn stupid Twi’lek take aim.
“Ka’ta!” he smirked.
I drew my weapon, but before I could, I noticed a new addition to his neck. Some may have found a bright purple saber to be declassee, but he wore it with pride, as blood began to ooze from his lips. The creature fell to the ground a moment later. I looked over to see the gorgeous, uncloaked, warrior breathing hard and grinning.
She was beautiful, utterly stunning. Her body was flush from battle and her supreme confidence radiated outward like a shining beacon—illuminating the room.
“That was fun!” she smiled. “Where’s your ship? We should go before—”
Cybernetic implants were hard for jedi to read. Their typical precognition was all thrown off by simple technology. She didn’t notice me thinking about how to slyly switch my disruptor to stun. I knew she could take about ten typical stunner shots, but mine had a bit more bite to it. The blue projectile caught her in the ribs and her jaw dropped in shock. She called her saber back as she faltered, but it clattered to the ground.
“I really am sorry about this, Jaina,” I breathed.
“You—” she sputtered, calling the saber again.
I was shocked as it actually found her hand. She was every bit her mother’s daughter. I fired a second shot and she fell to her knees, still trying to strike at me. A third finally dropped her and forced her consciousness to fade. I was lucky she fell. It was the last round in my disruptor.
I needed to get my bounty out of the ravaged bar before the New Republic showed up.
“Hey!” I called, snapping my fingers.
I thought she might not have been conscious, but then her restraints whined and sparked. Suppressing force abilities was extremely challenging, but then again, bounty hunting always was a complicated profession.
“You bastard!” she roared. “When my crew hears about—”
“How I saved you from all those other bounty hunters, they’ll thank me!” I barked over her.
“Oh, yeah,” she chuckled, “I feel real saved right about now.”
The poor woman was bound by all four limbs. The circular gyroscopic restraint cost almost as much as my ship, but someone had to hunt the force sensitives. Their bounties were the juiciest and ones that resulted in the greatest number of casualties. But, when I finally captured Jaina Solo, I saw a much greater and less dangerous treasure to collect on.
“Listen!” I roared back. “I’ve already decided to let you go. I had no idea you’d be wielding such a valuable saber. I’ve already got a buyer lined up who had a particularly large grudge against Mara Jade. This way, you keep your life, I get my money, we all get—”
“Not happening!” she roared, causing my ship to whine as she tugged with her mind at the restraints.
“Well, you’re all tied up, and I’m in charge, and I say it is,” I returned.
“You can’t—” she groaned, “why not turn me in and get the bounty as well?”
Okay, confession. I’m a selfish bastard. I’m craven and utterly disgusting. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
“Because—I,” I stammered, “had an—offer.”
She tilted her head. It didn’t take a jedi to guess what was on my mind.
“You’re sick! Go fu—”
“Would you listen!” I growled. “God! For once, just, stop talking!”
“I’m not going to do anything you want me to—”
“I’ll take you to Kashyyyk!” I thundered over her. “I’ll take you there and give you your pretty little sword back.”
“You take me for an idiot?” she laughed. “It’s been under a blockade for—”
“Three years,” I nodded. “That’s a long time to be away from your crew.”
Her eyes studied me. She didn’t believe me.
“Bullshit,” she breathed.
I was hoping she’d say that.
“R-6, what’s our current route?”
“En-route to Mon Calamari.”
“Do me a solid and show me exterior cameras on the heads up for our pretty and belligerent guest,” I laughed.
There was nothing on screen. It was blackness. You could hardly see stars.
“Oh, very nice,” she chuckled. “We’re flying in nothing. Great trick.”
“R-6 deactivate stealth systems,” I smirked.
“What did you—” she whispered.
My ship decloaked and materialized its experimental smooth hull. Jaina’s jaw could have been swept up off the floor.
“Got it after Darth Serevin was captured,” I spoke softly. “Took it from people who wouldn’t have known how to—”
“You mean stole it!” she barked. “This thing is evil! It’s a Sith ship. It can—”
“Get you right past that blockade in a jiff, can’t it?” I returned. Her chest was heaving. She was furious. I spoke up while holding eye contact.
“R-6 reactivate stealth.”
Once again, the ship dematerialized. I waved the display down and it fizzled away from view.
Jaina shook her head. She didn’t want to admit consideration, but I saw it all over her face.
“So—” she began. “I—let you—”
“Pound you silly, yeah,” I smiled.
She rolled her eyes.
“And you—”
“Take you to Kashyyyk, reunite you with your fuzzy pals, and let you keep the world’s milfiest assassin’s lightsaber.”
She grunted.
“Okay, you’d be the sexiest,” I admitted, “But I did say MILF and you’re not a—”
“Please shut up,” she sighed. “Why would you do that?”
“Because—” I shrugged and walked toward her, “Maybe I’ve been watching my quarry for a few months. Maybe she seems really—down. She’s lost. I have money. I’m fine, but I really am selfish. Maybe as I watched her wander from cantina to cantina, I saw a woman without purpose.”
“Who the hell do—”
“And I really decided I didn’t want to turn her in, but I certainly did want her.”
She immediately looked away.
“That saber’s worth hundreds of thousands of credits,” she breathed. “Why would you give that up for a chance to—have sex with me? I mean you could just rape me right now if—”
“No!” I shot back. “Eww! I’m a bounty hunter, not a monster. I’m a creep, but I’m not a rapist.”
I shook my head.
“Look, that’s my price. You’re free either way, but I can—”
“Well take it out, then,” she shook her head.
I groaned this time. This was not how I fuck Jaina Solo.
“No, seriously,” I groaned. “Not begrudging, not anything like that. If you’re repulsed by me, then I’m not going to—look, I could run you back and forth across that blockade as many times as you want. I know this is a valuable service. I know it’s an odd request, but—”
“Why would you?” she laughed. “You’re a big, fancy, bounty hunter with a Sith ship who—”
“Just crossed the New Republic,” I returned. “I’m a bounty hunter with a bounty. I’d need the money from your saber if I’m to survive, but if I joined your—”
“Hell, of a way to request an application,” she shook her head. “Look, I don’t even know your name.”
“It’s Karo,” I replied. “Karo Tull.”
She exhaled and chuckled.
“So—if I agree to sex,” she mumbled, “willingly—then you’ll run the blockade for us? I’m not agreeing to be your slave you know.”
But she was agreeing to my first and foremost desire.
“I know. I need a new home, and dating a woman like you seems nearly impossible, so yeah—I’d like a shortcut.”
“Why would it be—” she sounded quite offended.
“You see your sunny demeanor in the bar? Imagine trying to approach that—”
“And say you’re taking me to Kashyyyk! You’d be my hero, and I might—” she smiled.
“Immediately steal my ship and kill me,” I finished. “Yeah, that’s definitely how it would have gone.”
“You don’t know that,” she half-smiled, raising an eyebrow.
I had her number and she knew it.
“So—let’s say I didn’t find you totally unattractive,” she admitted. “I don’t want—”
“I’m not gonna shove it anywhere you don’t enjoy,” I smirked. I took off my coat and dropped it to the floor. I noticed her eyes dart up slightly to my tattooed arms and biceps. This time it was me who smiled.
“And how do you know what I’ll enjoy?” she whispered, actually sounding a bit flirty.
“Because I’ll hear it,” I returned in my most charming voice. “I feel like when I press your buttons and send you to hyperspace, it’ll be pretty obvious, given how you yelled while cutting apart those mercs.”
My trousers fell to the floor a moment later. She stammered at the beginning of her next sentence.
“I—uh, maybe I don’t—want to,” she chuckled, trying to play coy.
“If you don’t, I’ll get dressed right now. I’ll pick up my clothes, so you stop staring, and maybe even give you the saber because I’m a gullible fuck, but I’m not going—”
“No!” she shouted.
I had a wide smile. She was cute.
“I mean,” she corrected, “I really need to get back to Kashyyyk.”
“I bet,” I nodded. “I bet it’s really hard for you.”
My tight black underwear fell to the ground and her eyes spread wide.
“Seems like it,” she muttered, staring.
I knew I was in incredible shape. I was literally bred to be the ultimate human specimen to do the Emperor’s bidding. Then, he died, and I rebelled, and here we are.
I walked over to her restraints and ran my hand along her pale shoulder. She gasped as my other palm slithered around her waist.
“I have wanted you for months,” I breathed. “You are—outstanding.”
She shuddered as my hot breath flowed over her ear. I reached around to her fly and unbuttoned her pants. Jaina turned to face me and nibbled my cheek. She did want it. I could tell. It had probably been a long dry spell given how utterly unapproachable she was in the cantina.
“How are you gonna?” she asked as I rolled her skin-tight pants down her closed legs.
“Oh, that’s easy,” I smirked. “You’re going to behave for me as I undo this restraint.”
Her eyes opened wide.
“Of course, it’ll only ever be one limb at a time, and if you try anything—the others will rapidly expand—thus drawing and quartering you.”
She frowned slightly.
“Now, be good for me,” I purred.
I unlocked her left leg from behind and kissed down her thighs. She gasped as I ran my fingers down her legs and rolled the pantleg off.
“Cute panties,” I smiled, caressing her ass with my fingertips.
“Scoundrel,” she returned, trying not to moan.
“You know it.”
She was surprised as I reseated her left leg and the shackle snapped in place.
“You aren’t gonna take off—” she asked.
“Not yet,” I replied with a wink.
I came around her front side and rolled her right pant leg down as I had with the left. I held eye contact as I traced a finger along the outside of her crimson panties, brushing her clit through the fabric. Her eyes fought desire. She couldn’t look away.
I stood up and smiled as she pressed her own leg back into the restraint. She was very willing indeed. As soon as the lock clicked, I undid her wrist and paused.
“You know—” I smiled. “You’d be just as dead if both legs were torn off—so—maybe I could undo both your wrists.”
“You’re too kind I’m sure,” she smirked.
“Plus, the ship’s set to self-destruct if my vitals terminate, so there’s that.”
She shook her head and rubbed her wrists as both hands were freed.
“Feels good to have a little freedom, Karo,” she replied with dripping sarcasm.
She was trying to be snarky, but something about hearing her whisper my name caused a wicked desire to flash within me. I grasped the back of her neck and pulled her in for a deep, hungry, kiss. Jaina immediately snaked her arms around my back, grasping at my muscles and exploring my body. She seemed to like it. She kissed back as though taken by a fever. I felt her core tighten as she tried to spread her legs.
“Eager?” I asked.
“To have it be done, yeah,” she smiled, meeting my lips with increased heat and passion.
I pulled away and raised an eyebrow.
“Shut up, you know what I mean,” she rolled her eyes. “It’s not—terrible—and I’d like it to continue.”
“Maybe I want you to beg,” I laughed.
“Maybe I won’t for all the ships in the galaxy,” she laughed.
I was shocked as a wall seemed to impact me from behind. I stumbled forward into her and her lips met mine again.
“You can use your—” I asked in shock.
“Uh huh,” she interrupted, nibbling my lip.
“Fuck, you’re strong!” I laughed.
“I’m already gonna do this,” she laughed, grabbing my ass, “no more foreplay needed, Captain Karo.”
She loved her own abilities. I did too, frankly.
I reached down and slipped a hand underneath her panties. She was dripping. I pulled away again and laughed.
“Not a horrible experience?” I raised an eyebrow.
She popped her eyebrows and my right hand dragged toward her as though on rails.
“Don’t make me put you back in the restraints!” I barked, trying to resist.
“I could probably snap them at this point,” she teased as my hand met her pussy. “Can’t you just shut up and accept the fact that I actually want this?”
“Hmm,” I laughed, caressing her pussy. The woman shuddered and moaned.
“Shit, that’s good,” she breathed.
“Yeah?” I asked. I entwined my fingers with hers and pressed my lips to her neck. She moaned and tried to spread her legs again. I heard the restraints groan and creak. She actually managed to force them a bit. My cock sprung up between her legs. A surprised gasp escaped her lips as my cock-head rebounded against her soaked folds.
I saw my opportunity.
I rammed her left hand upward with my right, colliding with the restraint. A mechanical click caused her to furrow her brow in my direction.
“Can’t take a woman in control?” she asked.
“Alright, that’s enough,” I laughed.
Her eyes glanced down as I brandished a vibroblade from the side of the machine. It rattled and crackled angrily.
“I’m not into anything to do with—”
She gasped as I slit up her side and sliced her tank top and bra wide open.
“You could have fileted me with that!” she exclaimed.
“I’m almost as comfortable with this as you are with the force,” I returned. “Were you gonna snap my neck when you pulled me in?”
“Considered it,” she purred.
“I just bet,” I chuckled, slipping the straps off her shoulders and rendering the warrior nude except for her panties before me.
“What are you gonna do with me?” she breathed, words heavy with sex. She was helpless once again.
“Right now?” I asked, shoving her other wrist back into its restraint, “I’m gonna take care of a fucking problem I’ve had for months.”
I rotated the machine with my palm gently and she was suddenly horizontal. She giggled and gasped as my fingers found her tits.
“So, is this thing just built for sex, or is it a lucky byproduct?” she asked, hornier than a cat in heat.
“You mean the restraints or your delicious body?”
I saw a blush cross her pale shoulders.
“Well, it’s meant to hold creatures with a lot of limbs if it needs to,” I returned, “but it also does this.”
I spun the gyro and her body inverted completely, putting her directly at eye level with my cock.
“Fuck,” she whispered.
“Soon,” I returned.
She really was thirsty. Her mouth opened by instinct but was a bit too high to get at it. I gripped her hips and shifted her body downward in the machine. She didn’t even say a word. As soon as my dick met her lips, she began to bob on it.
Every part of me was far above average, but she throated me like a champion. I’d never met anyone as strong as her, full stop. Combine that with the unbridled sexuality she possessed, and I realized I had never wanted a woman more than I desired her. I flexed my muscles and tore apart her panties without putting any strain on her skin. She gasped and pulled back.
“Oh my,” she moaned, “I have a very good feeling about this.”
I grabbed both of her full ass cheeks and drew nearer to my desired meal. I spread apart both legs and splayed her wide open, unfurling her sex. Strands of slickness extended as she unfolded for me in utter surrender.
I devoured her pussy, probing her with my fingers, but staying away from her ass, per her implicit request.
“I love how you taste,” I moaned as she sucked me harder.
“Me too!” she returned by instinct.
She paused for a moment, then continued.
Finally, I’d had enough. I spun her about until she was horizontal again and stepped between her legs.
“Oh, yes,” she moaned as I finally pressed thick cock into the jedi I’d been fantasizing about.
I began to pound her with the ferocity we both seemed to desire. She moaned, working her hips against me, and drenching my crotch in her juices.
“Oh, Karo!” she moaned. “Fuck! It’s been—ages!”
“Good?” I asked.
“Just keep,” she breathed, moaning harder and in deeper groans. “Oh—oh my—”
Her breathing got faster. With each thrust she moaned and writhed. After a few minutes, her cries seemed to reach a crescendo. She squealed and began to tremble.
I was making Jaina come. I could feel it. It was almost enough to drive me over the edge. I wasn’t quite done with her yet, though. As her orgasm finished, she was giggling and moaning.
“Fuck, that was good,” she breathed.
I spun her and walked around the restraint, facing her front side.
“What, you gonna hot-dog me?” she laughed.
I unclasped her left leg, then her right, and her eyes opened wide.
“You know that means I can—” she smirked.
“I know,” I nodded. “I think—maybe—you want to finish again. Honestly? I’m trusting you.”
She smiled and made a face that seemed to say “aww,” but her mouth said something else entirely.
“That’s so stupid of you!” she laughed.
I felt my body seize. Maybe I’d misread the room.
“You’re a cute little dumb merc, though,” she moaned, drawing me closer.
She wrapped her legs around me and I felt my body release from her ethereal grip.
“Go on,” she laughed. “I’m at least gonna let you finish before I take your ship.”
Jaina liked me. I could tell. Giving her a bit of control back made her even hotter than she had been for me. She moaned as I began to pound up into her.
“Make sure—” she groaned, “this orgasm is worth your—ship!”
“It is,” I returned, fucking her harder than I knew I could.
Her eyes met mine with confusion, but she was pulling me with her legs, trying to take me as deep as she could.
“I want you to do it,” she moaned. “You can come on my—”
“I’m sterile!” I returned. “I want to do it inside you.”
She considered my words with slight concern, then I felt her legs tug against my ass again.
“Do it, Karo,” she breathed, moaning harder, “Fucking come for—shit!”
She was really enjoying herself. I gasped as her arms tugged the shackles from their nesting and she tackled me to the floor. She rode hard, bucking as deep as her hips would allow. I didn’t even care that she’d destroyed the machine and was likely to kill me. Some women are worthy dying for. I was sure I’d be thinking differently post-orgasm.
“Shit!” she screamed, looking up to the ceiling as the ship landed itself. I pumped up into her, gushing harder than I thought I ever could. I was almost convinced she was helping me with her mind. If true, that was incredibly sexy. I thrusted, ejaculating deep in the best pussy I’d ever felt, and started to laugh. She did too. She kissed me.
“Karo,” she muttered, “I truly don’t understand you, but that was—wow.”
I couldn’t move as she rose and took a step, my leftovers dripping out of her stretched pussy. She slammed the gauntlets together and the room rattled. The binds broke and fell away. She smiled and spoke again.
“I mean, honestly, we’re going to take your ship, but I feel really bad about that now.”
I shook my head.
“No, Karo,” she laughed. “That was really—truly—exceptional. Now tell me where my lightsaber is, or I’ll cut off yours.”
I opened my mouth to speak.
“And that would truly be a shame,” she smirked.
“Third drawer on the leftmost cabinet back there next to the console,” I informed, “But it’s locked, and—”
The door flew open. Right. I’d almost forgotten who I was dealing with.
Her saber leapt out to meet her hand and she smirked, pressing the button on its hilt.
“There you are,” she smiled as the purple beam extended.
I was staring at the blade of pure energy, naked and helpless.
“Oh, relax!” she laughed. “I’m not gonna kill you. Hell, for that, I’m tempted to give you a corvette, but I’ll definitely give you some credits and a ship. You earned that much. Now, transfer ownership.”
“Uh,” I groaned as she began to slip on her pants, “no.”
“No?” she asked with a chuckle. “That is a terrible idea! I’m already planetside. You know how many determined hackers there are on Mon Calamari who’d give their arm just to get a chance to see this ship?”
“I said no!” I laughed. “R-6 open the rear doors.”
“And I said—” she screeched.
The sounds of trees rustling in the breeze filled the air. She slipped her oversized coat over her shoulders as the wind rolled in, zipping it to hide her stripped top half. I felt goosebumps rise off my body.
“But—” she whispered, “There’s no.”
“We were always going to Kashyyyk,” I replied.
The odd birds and reptiles of the planet chirped and cawed as my ship sat on the wookie landing pad.
“But then—you—” she stammered. “This makes even less sense!”
A wookie roar elicited a smile from her lips. She brushed me toward the corner of the room with her mind like unwanted trash as a trio of towering furry friends stepped into my ship.
“Lowbacca!” she laughed. “Oh, my word!”
She ran toward the massive creature and it roared pleased chirps back in return. It seemed to be trying to catch up with her.
“The pilot who did what?” she asked. “Offered to—”
She spun about toward me.
“What?” she shrieked. “But then why did you make me—”
“I didn’t make you do a damn thing, Solo,” I laughed, standing in confidence at the rear of the room.
The other wookies pointed at me and roared, asking a question and laughing.
“Oh, because you’re always wearing clothes!” I returned.
They shrugged and nodded. Lowbacca seemed less convinced.
“You gave them strike coordinates for the fleet interdictors?” she whispered, shaking her head.
I shrugged.
“But—” her mind seemed to swim with befuddlement. “God!”
Jaina stomped from my ship. She couldn’t exactly kill the man who’d offered to fly lead on the strike to free Kashyyyk. I was a mystery to her. She seemed hurt. Maybe I’d gone about things in the wrong way. It would have been far more noble to woo her traditionally. I should have been a better man, less selfish, but I wasn’t. I smirked as I strided over to my clothes that were still on a heap in the center of the floor.
Lowbacca barked in my direction and roared. He wasn’t stupid. Fucking his friend probably started us off on the wrong foot.
I clothed myself and then walked to him. I stretched my hand forward.
“Karo Tull, pleased to meet—"
He roared, showering me with spittle and cutting me off, and then motioned for his soldiers to follow him as he exited the craft. What an odd adventure it had been indeed.
“Was it something I said?” I called after him.
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2020.08.01 03:54 megannotmeagan I volunteer as tribute to write a recap of Reality Steve’s Instagram Live

I’ll update here as he says important things! I'm in Central Time so this started at 9PM for me.
9:00: Just starting: RS commenting on the number of people tuning in (currently 3,000 but the number is quickly rising). He's wearing a baseball cap and looks very relaxed.
9:01: There's a lot to unravel.
9:02: A lot is speculation. Started yesterday with the Dale headline about Clare quitting the show. He wasn't taking a shot at Clare with his Tweet. He was talking about salacious headlines. Reiterates that the lead can't just "quit". But then saw the headline from US Weekly about cut contestants coming back.
9:03: Knows a contestant personally that didn't even make it to the first night but was contacted by a producer to come back if he wanted. He didn't initially see a reason to run with it because it didn't make sense to him, although he didn't doubt it. It would make sense if they are recasting for Tayshia's season, in light of the new speculation
9:04: "I can't tell you if Clare is off the show or not". She might be out there and not filming, she might be filming, or she might be going home. He is CERTAIN that Tayshia is in La Quinta and there is no reason for her to be there unless she were filming something.
9:05 He truly believes Tayshia will the Bachelorette going forward. If she is (whether she already started or hasn't already started), what happened to Clare? The only 2 possibilities (well, 3, but he's not going there because it could cause bad speculation due to connections with her mom? He didn't elaborate very much but seems to imply that it could be due to her mom's health. If it is, we will know right away). 1. Clare was so difficult that they fired her 2. Clare fell for Dale hard and told them that she didn't want to fake it for an entire season.
9:07: Devil's advocate for both options: 1. MANY Bachelorettes have been divas in the past, so why would Clare be fired after only 2 weeks? 2. If you asked numerous leads in the past (Ben or Brad, for example), many would say that they would have left after a few weeks when they already knew who they wanted, so why would Clare be the exception? Could be that they would let her get away with it due to all the craziness already (COVID, non traveling, etc.)
9:10: We know Clare falls hard and fast for guys after seeing her on other Bachelor shows. Brings up the idea that she's already been talking to Dale during these past few months. It might have happened without production knowing and they got mad. THIS IS SPECULATION. This is the first time the lead has known so far in advance who her men were.
9:12: If this is all true and Tayshia is going to be Bachelorette, this will probably be more of a Kaitlyn and Britt situation, where it's no secret who the Bachelorette is.
9:13: If Tayshia has taken over, ABC will definitely announce it. They will probably not say why she is the new Bachelorette, but they will definitely announce it. But it's complicated because they've been promoting Clare constantly for months.
9:14: Since they've done that, TPTB have to show you Clare on the show. Unsure of how this will play out. Could be that the season is split equally between Clare and Tayshia or they could put all of Clare's footage in episode 1. His guess is that they will show 4 episodes (half the season/two weeks of filming) of Clare.
9:15: Last night he believes was RC #4, so there are about 15 guys. So if you bring Tayshia in at this point, what happens there? Do you make the guys choose whether to stay or leave? Do they have to stay? Do you bring back other guys to quarantine and shut down production? There are no solid answers.
9:16: He believes the best option is to start over from scratch. Give the guys the option of staying or leaving and then bring back other guys (maybe why they were calling people to come back who were initially cast).
9:17: Compares it to Bachelorette NZ where Lily was brought in halfway through. It could be that Clare is set on Dale but TPTB don't want it to get out so they bring on another Bachelorette for the other guys (but doubts this is the case).
9:18: If she's fired, there's no point in keeping her. If she's into Dale, it wouldn't make sense to continue production.
9:19: Thinks it's more realistic that Clare fell for Dale and the producers went with it because of the twist it would offer.
9:20: Does not think that Clare was fired due to being a diva. They promoted her way too much to turn around and fire her. Does not think there will be two simultaneous Bachelorettes. Reiterates that Tayshia is definitely there in La Quinta and there's no reason for her to be there unless she's filming.
9:21: Asks Ashley Spivey to come on but she declines because she's in her pajamas lol
9:22: Says again that if Tayshia is the Bachelorette, it will not be kept secret, especially since it's already "out there" as a spoiler. Reiterates that Tayshia was a top contender for Bachelorette, along with Clare and Tia, so it's not a "random" choice. Doesn't think it has to do with race. She was already a top choice.
9:23: Ashley Spivey joins, presumably after she's changed out of her pajamas.
9:24: ASHLEY'S POV: Feels like Clare wouldn't make this decision without consulting Dale, so she believes that Clare and Dale talked pre-show and made this decision together. Also believes Clare didn't expect to do the show during COVID when she signed up so decided to get out when she felt a connection.
9:25: Steve says Clare would already know how TPTB manipulates the show at this point after 4 shows, so it's unlikely she would leave angry. Ashley believes if it was really suddenly gone, TPTB would use it to stir up drama and would not have had Tayshia as a backup.
9:26: Steve says Tayshia has been there (La Quinta) since Monday, so the decision was already made at that point.
9:27: Steve directly addresses the Reddit post. Says Clare would absolutely not cancel dates. Ashley hates the connotations around Clare being an older woman and being labeled as "difficult".
9:28: Steve says if it is the case that Clare is so into Dale that she left, viewers SHOULD be happy because that's what the show is all about. He says it's unlikely either Dale or Clare would move, especially with her mother being so sick so he doesn't have high hopes for their relationship continuing.
9:29: Ashley says when you fall in love, you don't think about logistics sometimes. Ashley says the Bachelorettes are more decisive than the Bachelors. Steve says most of them would have definitely left the show early if they were allowed to (with their F1s). Side note: Says it would have been stupid for Becca to leave with Garrett lol
9:30: Steve reiterates that previously cut guys are definitely being contacted again to come back because he knows for sure. The guy he knows of turned it down but was never told it was because they were hiring for a lead. TPTB just asked him to come back with no explanation so he turned it down.
9:31: Steve brings up the fact that everyone has to quarantine again if Tayshia is there.
9:32: Ashley says maybe that's why Tayshia has already been quarantining. But Steve asks then why they would have continued filming with Clare if they knew Tayshia would be taking over?
9:33: Both Steve and Ashley say the guys would have auditioned for the show knowing that Tayshia was a finalist.
9:33: Both of them think it's a possibility that TPTB planned this from the beginning. Ashley says maybe Clare told a producer that she had been talking to Dale. Steve says they would have known that Dale was a strong contender before filming if this were the case.
9:34: Steve brings up the Reddit post again and asks Ashley if it's possible that Clare really was a diva. Says if this whole thing was pre-planned, Dale and Clare were definitely talking previously.
9:35: Demi shows up and Steve asks if she wants to join the live. She says yes but that she's naked.
9:36: Ashley was crying earlier. Says it's because she was watching "Good Trouble".
9:37: Ashley says she's jumping off so Demi can come on. This is a mess. It's like watching a bunch of people use Instagram for the first time.
9:37: Demi is on finally. Said she's tried to contact Tayshia but she didn't answer. Said when she texted her, the text sent green, meaning that Tayshia is out of service or her phone isn't accepting texts.
9:38: Demi brings up the podcast. Says her producers will contact Steve about coming on later. Says she canceled because she got anxious about what to ask him on the podcast. Says she didn't mean to blow him off. Steve says he never got that impression.
9:39: My husband has entered the room. He asked me if I'm watching "The Bachelorette" and then asks "who died?" lol
9:40: Said she just got back from visiting Hannah and Dylan at Dylan's family's lakehouse because she got invited last minute thought "why not"? (My input: because there's a pandemic, Demi).
9:41: Steve is summarizing everything he's already said because Demi says she hasn't been paying attention. Demi seems to not know that Tayshia was contacted again as a finalist for the Bachelorette this season.
9:41: Demi didn't hang out with Tayshia very much during filming of the Bachelor but did hang out with her during BIP. They became friends during BIP.
9:42: Demi wishes Tayshia could have a normal season with travel.
9:44: They're just saying the same things over and over again because Demi hasn't watched any of this Instagram Live. Not going to type all of this because it's literally the same thing I typed earlier.
9:46: Demi says she doesn't know anything about Tayshia taking over but loves drama and loves mess and is excited to watch the season. Steve says he has questions for her. Demi says they have to wait for her podcast (thank goodness).
SWITCHES TO DEMI TALKING ABOUT HER RELATIONSHIP. This is the last they ever actually talk about Clare until the VERY END where they give no new info, fair warning. The rest of this recap is about Demi and Steve's (VERY LONG) conversation.
9:47: Steve asks about her relationship. Demi says she'll answer questions about it here because she's sick of talking about it on her podcast. Steve asks if she's still friends with her most recent ex. Demi says they are friends. After the breakup was weird because they were still acting like they were dating. Needed the trip with Hannah G and Dylan to clear her head.
9:48: Has been chatting with him since she got back from her trip. Wants to make sure he's okay. They started dating February 4 and started quarantining March 16.
9:49: Says they fought during quarantine. Says they were both immature while spending so much time together right off the bat. Says they both thought they were soulmates but spending uninterrupted time together was not good for their relationship.
9:50: He's a musician and does TikTok and Instagram. Steve calls him "one of those people" lol. They met through Katie M.
9:51: Demi ended things. Reached out a week later to get back together and he said no.
9:52: No chance of reconciliation. They are better as friends. She misses having a partner and having someone with her all the time but they both need to work on themselves and doesn't think it would ever work again. Doesn't need a man to satisfy her.
9:53: Pans to her cats who are asleep on her couch. There is also lingerie there (LINGER-Y).
9:53: Steve asks about her twitter rant about her sexuality. Says she likes whoever she's going to like. Doesn't want people telling her she should only date men or women. She wants to just date who she likes.
SWITCHES TO BECCA AND GARRETT
9:55: Steve says he doesn't know any "tea" but definitely doesn't think they're together. Says it's fishy that they haven't been in the same state for months. Says it's obvious they broke up. Wonders why they haven't announced it when everyone knows they aren't together.
9:56: Demi says public breakups are hard because you don't want to let people down or deal with hate and speculations. Says she has bad social anxiety and hates speculation on her so she thinks that could be a reason why they wouldn't have announced it. She's not close with either of them (but has met Becca. Says she's fantastic). Says it must be hard for Becca to deal with things Garrett has said and done and must feel torn between supporting her fiance and her own convictions.
SWITCHES TOPICS AGAIN TO DEMI'S LIFE BEFORE THE SHOW
9:57: Demi saw Hannah B a few weeks ago. Says she's not moving near her. Loves talking to her and says they are always able to pick up right where they left off.
9:58: Steve says it's hot and humid in Texas.
9:59: They're now talking about Texas and where Demi went to high school. I would like for them to stop shooting the breeze now.
10:00: Was Demi working at Pottery Barn before going on Colton's show??? Yes, but not at the location Steve thought. Thought it was funny that she was given the title of "interior designer". She wasn't just a sales associate but was also not an interior designer. She sold over a million dollars worth of products while working there. Was at work when she got the call from The Bachelor.
SWITCHES TOPICS AGAIN TO KAT
10:01: Steve says things are going great with Kat and they are still together. Over 2,000 people have left this live. I am committed though. If it weren't for this recap, I would have left 20 minutes ago.
10:02: Demi invited Kat on her podcast because she's a huge Big Brother fan and she was following Demi on Instagram. Kat said she wanted to be the "Demi of her season".
10:03: Demi was supposed to go to a large event in Vegas and would have met Kat but was told no due to her contract.
10:04: Kat is not on All Stars (unless she hasn't told Steve lol)
10:05: Did Kat sleep with Jackson and that's why she had a falling out with Hollly??? Steve says no. I feel weird hearing about this through Steve. (I have not ever seen an episode of Big Brother so I am confused who all these people are).
10:06: Demi asks Steve if they're "official". (Didn't they confirm this like a month ago?) Steve says Kat is the only public girlfriend he's had since starting his job as a spoiler account.
SWITCHES TOPICS TO OLIVE GARDEN
10:07: Demi asks Steve what his favorite menu item at OG is. THREE FAVORITES (no joke, this is actually good information): Tour of Italy, Chicken Parmesan, Basic rigatoni and meatballs.
SWITCHES TOPICS TO CALIFORNIA AND HOOTERS (Yes, I'm serious. Yes, I wish I wasn't).
10:09: Steve used to live in LA. Demi did not know this.
10:10: Demi went to Texas State before dropping out. Used to work at Hooters. Worked there for a few months. She was the "recovery" waitress who would take over for customers who weren't happy with their service.
10:11: Moved back to Dallas after getting really drunk at Hooters and thinking she would get fired. Went back to Community College online while working at Pottery Barn. Is one class away from having an Associates Degree in Business. Would like to get her degree.
10:11: Steve is giving us his thoughts on Hooters. Doesn't think Hooters sexualizes women. Calls sports bars "breast-aurants" lol. He's now talking about uniforms at various sports bras. Says Hooters seems modest when compared to some bars where he lives. I would very much like this to be over now.
10:13: Demi talks about a show where someone went undercover as a waitress at a bar and exposed how sleazy managers are. Demi said the only gross thing at Hooters was the roaches. Says she got in trouble for smoking at work once. Said her GM compared it to kids seeing Goofy smoking a cigarette at Disney World. 2,000 more people have left this live. I am envious of them.
10:15: Steve is 45 years old. He does not go to Hooters to flirt with waitresses. He goes for the WINGS, DARN IT.
10:16: He's talking about the uniform again. Reiterates that it's much more modest at Hooters than at other "breast-aurants". Demi said you have to buy your own pantyhose and that they rip all the time.
10:17 Talks about a sports bra near him called "Tight Ends" and their "Lingerie Lunches" where women literally wear G-strings to serve food.
10:19: Demi had a creep ask for her at the restaurant when she worked at Hooters until she said "no" and made other people serve him.
10:20: Talking about waitresses who have regulars come in and give them massive tips. My phone is about to die, as is my soul.
10:20: This won't be infinite, right? Like they have to stop talking at some point, yes?
10:21: Demi talking about a customer she used to hook up with who had a wooden leg. Tries to remember his Instagram username. I feel like this poor man is about to be bombarded.
10:21: Steve finally gives an indication that they're ending soon. Says again that he believes Clare is not the Bachelorette anymore. He will try and find out the reason. Demi does not know anything about the season.
10:22: Steve's sources are telling him that the report on Reddit is true. He will post about it on Twitter and Instagram when he knows.
10:23: Demi's producers will reach out to scheduled a podcast with RS soon.
10:24: They talk about her recent guests, including Katie Morton. Talk about the fact that her address was found and posted online. She found a new apartment that is high security. Demi says Katie has been getting really into interior design and doing mood boards for people. Demi said she should charge for it. Says Katie is creative. Not doing dancing since COVID. Demi said Katie was in a big movie but then says "maybe I shouldn't have said that". Says Katie is always very productive.
SWITCHES TOPICS TO TIKTOK
10:26: Demi says her TikTok game is "trash". Says she did a recent ad with over a million viewers but got paid very little. Says it was the one she did for "roommate" (I'm only 24 and I feel very old and I don't know what this means). EDIT: A kind commenter said it's "BrüMate". I have never heard of this either.
10:28: Steve asks "anything else"? as if we haven't talked about nothing for the last 45 minutes. Demi says she'll ask him questions on her podcast. THANK GOODNESS.
10:28: Can you view texts while on an Instagram story? Yes, but it freezes. We are all better for this knowledge, truly. Demi wants to check a text but doesn't want it to freeze. This is truly the Sophie's Choice of the Bachelor world.
SWITCHES TOPICS TO COLTON AND CASSIE
10:31: Demi has no idea what happened. Says Cassie has been very respectful about the breakup.
10:32: I have heard the word "clout" too many times at this point.
10:32: Steve says reporters from media outlets will listen to Bachelor podcasts for hours to get their headlines.
SWITCHES TOPICS TO RACHEL
10:32: They both hate that Rachel gets called racist names for speaking out on the franchise.
10:33: Demi says she approaches Rachel for information and education but hates that Rachel is expected to give this information out all the time. She loves Rachel.
SWITCHES TOPICS TO HB AND TC
10:34: Steve says people are deadset that these two will end up together. Asks Demi for her opinion. Demi says she and Hannah don't talk about that. Their relationship isn't about boys or girls. She says it's unfair that they both have an expectation of being in a relationship with each other. Wishes they could date other people without being criticized.
10:35: "They're friends. Maybe more, maybe not." Demi is about to awaken the tinfoil den.
10:35: Steve references the whole mess with Gigi and then the quarantine crew. Says Hannah B probably wasn't planning on spending so much time in Florida but probably had to because of quarantine.
10:36: Demi says Hannah has amazing things to say about Matt and had a great time hanging out in Florida. (I would personally like if the quarantine crew actually quarantined but that's just me)
10:37: Demi references her trip to Wisconsin with Hannah G and Dylan. Says she took a COVID test beforehand. Says you can hang out without being in a relationship.
10:37: They both say anyone in this franchise is always assumed to be in a relationship if seen with someone from the opposite sex.
SWITCHES TOPICS TO NICK V, THEIR "RELATIONSHIP", AND THE INFAMOUS PODCAST
10:38: Demi addresses the assumption of her and Nick hooking up. TEA: Demi tried to hook up with Nick and he turned her down because it would ruin the friendship. They have never hooked up, according to Demi. She says she flirts with him for fun but that nothing will ever happen because they're such good friends.
10:39: Demi wants to talk about Nick's podcast with Reality Steve on her podcast. (HOW ARE THEY GOING TO HAVE ANYTHING LEFT TO DISCUSS AFTER THIS INSTAGRAM LIVE OH MY WORD)
10:40: Steve: "does he talk over you all the time?" LOL. Demi says yes but she doesn't mind.
10:40 Remember an hour ago when I said I thought this was wrapping up? I miss how young I was then.
10:42: Steve doesn't hold anything against Demi for being friends with Nick. Says he is not a huge fan of Nick's. Hopes they can discuss this more on her podcast without any judgement. Demi says they can and says she can be friends with both.
10:42: Steve says he feels the same way about dating Kat and still being friendly with Holly.
SWITCHES BACK TO THE BACHELOR AND CLARE
10:43: Demi asks Steve who his sources are. He laughs.
10:43: Steve says whoever posted on Reddit found out before he did. Says his job for the next 2-3 days is to verify the information and find out more about why Clare was replaced.
10:44: Demi asks what if they're doing this so Steve has the wrong spoilers. Steve said that's not it because he didn't even find out first.
10:45: Demi says she reads his spoilers and respects his work.
10:45: Someone in the comments just said "Tateishi". Are we joking right now.
SWITCHES TO RS AND DEMI'S FORMER "FEUD"
10:46: References Demi's old tweet bashing RS and RS saying "Demi, you're trying too hard"
10:46: Demi says watching back her WTA makes her cringe. Said she was so angry at the filming because of Courtney and having a pacifier shoved in her mouth.
10:47: This inspired her to be angry. Says she was way over the top and that partly led to her tweet to RS bashing him for making money off of people's personal lives.
10:48: They again reference the podcast. Please just go record it now.
SWITCHES TO REDDIT
10:48: Steve never reads Reddit. Says Kat LOVES Reddit and will send him links of posts about Kat and Steve.
10:49: Demi is looking for her charger. I kind of hope her phone dies so this Live ends.
10:49: Demi said she stopped reading posts on /bachelor because it was affecting her mental health. She loves Reddit in general, though. Says she's tempted to read about herself sometimes.
10:49: Steve doesn't understand "how Reddit works" lol
10:50: They're talking about fondant now. Demi has been reading on Reddit about people who hate fondant. Steve doesn't know what it is.
10:50: Demi is trying to explain to Steve what Reddit is. It is not going well.
SWITCHES TOPICS TO VAPES
10:52: Demi uses a Juul, NOT A VAPE (says they're the same thing but she hates the word "vape). She starts smoking on the live but says not to do it.
10:53: Steve asks if the point of vaping is to quit smoking. Demi says no, absolutely not. Stopped smoking cigarettes but started smoking tobacco and weed. Stopped to pass the drug test for the Bachelor. Someone snuck a Juul into the mansion and got Demi hooked. She won't say who snuck it in.
10:54: Another thousand people have left. This max exodus has inspired me. I hope those people are happy now.
10:55: Demi doesn't know what the "5%" on the Juul packaging means. Says it's terrible for you but doesn't know how bad. Wants to quit but can't.
10:55: Steve asks if e-cigs are the same.
10:56: Demi says she has "no idea what she's inhaling". I am sure there will be no consequences of this.
10:56: Demi doesn't really smoke weed anymore but sometimes eats edibles. Says it helps with her anxiety.
SWITCHES TO DEMI LOVATO
10:57: Steve says he has a personal question. Asks if she's still friends with Demi Lovato.
10:57: They met while filming Hannah B's MTA or ATFR (Demi can't remember which one)
10:58: They are both happy for Demi L's engagement
10:58: I just realized I completely forgot Bachelor Demi's last name. I am not sad about this fact.
10:58: Demi Bachelor says Demi L calls in and checks on her, especially if Demi doesn't post for awhile on her alt account
10:58: Demi Bachelor will not comment on Mike and Demi L's relationship. Demi Bachelor says she would have been angry if Mike had mentioned her kissing skills, too.
10:59: Demi Bachelor says Mike talked to every single girl at BIP except for her upon arrival. He joked around and said "why do you think that is, Demi?" but then said it was because he didn't have time to talk to her. Demi Bachelor thinks Mike is hot.
SWITCHES TO RELATIONSHIPS FROM COLTON'S SEASON
11:00: Sydney from Colton's season has a boyfriend. Apparently it's her first ever.
11:00: Demi calls Hannah G and Dylan "precious". Ok.
11:01: Steve mentions that Caelynn and Dean don't follow each other on Instagram. Commenters are quick to say they never followed each other.
11:03: Kirpa has a boyfriend.
11:03: Heather Martin does not have a boyfriend. She just hung out with Hannah B. Are we going to go through the whole cast?
11:03: Hannah B was 7th. "We all know about everything there"
11:04: Yes we really are going through the entire cast. Nicole has a boyfriend.
11:04: Elyse texts Demi and checks in on her mental health
11:04: A commenter says there's already an article about this Instagram Live. I hope it's referencing me, tbh.
11:05: Talks about how long they've been talking. WE BEEN KNEW.
SWITCHES TO DEMI'S TRIP(S)
11:05: Demi is leaving on another trip but can't tell us where. Says "we will see very soon". Hmmm...(wonder if this has anything to do with Mike and Hannah Ann filming together?)
11:06: She's flying somewhere
11:06: OMG I THINK THIS IS FINALLY ENDING.
11:06: Again. They will talk on the podcast. Again, I wonder what topic could be discussed more than they have already said.
WRAP UP
11:07: Steve will keep checking in on the Tayshia situation.
11:07: Steve thanks us for tuning in. I am bitter.
The video is over. I can hardly believe it. This will be available as a recorded Live on Steve's page later.
Thank you all for the awards and comments! I hope I brightened your night <3
submitted by megannotmeagan to thebachelor [link] [comments]


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